dating someone your friends don't like

[thefoot]

I am attracted to this girl, and I think she is attracted to me, but my friends don't really like her. I am in highschool so its hard when your friends dont get along with someone you like. Also they don't think she is "cool" and they say that if I went out with her I would just be taking whatever i can get (I'm not). So I like this girl but I also value my friends alot and I dont want to lose them.

[jordan_2]

i think that if your friends were the type that were always looking out for you because they think that this relationship would end up in you being heart broken, then yes I would agree with them, but I think that their comments make it seem as if they are snobbish or too good for this girl. I'm also getting the impression that this girl is a really nice person and I think that your friends (if that is what you think they are) are really looking out for your social status.

 

Know that true friends are always looking out for you, but don't let them choose who you date simply upon the fact of how much of an outcast you will become.

 

good luck with your relationship

[DN]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

 

I know peer pressure is strong - but they will respect you more if you say you don't care what they think and go ahead and ask her out. And tell them if they disrespect her in any way that they will no longer be your friends. Don't be belligerent when you say that. Say it calmly but firmly and say that you expect them, as your friends, to back your decision.

[DiscipleOfChange]

Listen and listen good!

 

This is a very delicate issue. Many will tell you that the best and most sincere friends will repect you for the choices you make in relationships. These same people may also say that the best of friends always have your best interests at heart. The trick is to find the line that averages these two very valid points. In high school, there is a stifling belief that being "cool" is where everyone should be. But people who reach the apogee of their social arc in high school stay there forever. Know this, if you truly are interested in this girl, then you should go for her.

[Hope75]

Why don't your friends like her? Does she treat you well?

[thefoot]

I dont know why they don't like her. She treats me fine. I think they just dont think she is cool. They have known her longer then me and they have never liked her but have never given a reason.

[easyguy]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

[skyteph]

If you like her, shouldn't that be a good enough reason to ask her out?

[darkblue]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

 

Just men?

[JRM]

Out of curiosity, do your friends have/have had girlfriends?

 

They might just be jealous that a girl that you're into is into you and are mad that they cant get the same luck.

[DN]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

 

Just men?

In this particular case - yes. If the poster had been a woman I would have made the same comment with an appropriate adjustment for her gender.

[darkblue]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

 

Just men?

In this particular case - yes. If the poster had been a woman I would have made the same comment with an appropriate adjustment for her gender.

 

It sounded particularly directed to men.

 

I would say: It's being your own person and not being influenced by what others think; regardless of gender.

[DN]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

 

Just men?

In this particular case - yes. If the poster had been a woman I would have made the same comment with an appropriate adjustment for her gender.

 

It sounded particularly directed to men.

 

I would say: It's being your own person and not being influenced by what others think; regardless of gender.

 

It was directed to the poster, I find it generally helps to answer the person who posed the question. I think I have demonstrated on this forum a distaste for gender discrimination, but if for some reason you want to infer something in my post that is not there, go ahead.

[Hello90]

Date the girl, it's YOUR choice. But know this, if you date the girl and start ditching your friends, or generally breaking plans for her, you can pretty much say goodbye to those friends.

[mysteryman]

In theory you shouldnt care what ur friends think.. but in reality its a big deal. I have a feeling theres something in her past you dont know about? If its a reason of her not being cool or something but if its that shes fooled around or something bad then. Stay away because ur friends are right.. you shouldnt date her and it would ruin ur rep. Plus if they dont like her and you date her.. ur gona hear about it.

[Dre_7]

You have to know what's best for you. If you like a girl for all the right reasons, but your friends don't like her...then maybe they weren't your friends in the first place. But as mysteryman said, if they know something about her that would hurt you, take note of their advice.

I've learnt one thing though, if you let people change you, they will. I mean let's say you like this girl, she likes you, don't let any external influences rob you of that. Be true to yourself first and foremost, then see what your friends have to say. Make them back up their dislike for her with solid reasoning. Otherwise, find some new friends.

[m4viz]

ur friends are imature. they don't think she's cool. and u can't date her?? that's just stupid. ur friends might not be cool either.

 

if ur friends are really don't want u to date her. maybe u should look for new friends. u have to find good friends that are on ur side. the friends that trust u, look for ur back. not the kind of friends u have now.

[m4viz]

ur friends are imature. they don't think she's cool. and u can't date her?? that's just stupid.

 

what is the meaning of being cool? she's not pretty enought? she's not cool? she's not the same type of person as ur friends?

do we have to live our life just to look cool? or be cool?

ur friends might not be cool either.

 

there are so much in life. ur little imature friends haven't open their minds yet.

 

if ur friends are really don't want u to date her. maybe u should look for new friends. u have to find good friends that are on ur side. the friends that trust u, look over ur back. not the kind of friends u have now.

[darkblue]

Part of being a man is being able to do things that you want to do without caring what your friends think.

 

Just men?

In this particular case - yes. If the poster had been a woman I would have made the same comment with an appropriate adjustment for her gender.

 

It sounded particularly directed to men.

 

I would say: It's being your own person and not being influenced by what others think; regardless of gender.

 

It was directed to the poster, I find it generally helps to answer the person who posed the question. I think I have demonstrated on this forum a distaste for gender discrimination, but if for some reason you want to infer something in my post that is not there, go ahead.

 

DN - I simply misinterpreted the post, as it did sound particularly headed towards males. You cleared it up and I said what I would have said to avoid confusion.

 

Now you're trying to get me going.

[Kaia]

I remember the first time a guy I was interested asked me out, I rejected him because my friends teased (in a bad way) a lot about it. I succumbed to peer pressure. Looking back, I wish I could have just ignored my friends and said yes.

 

So I'd say you should ask her out, you won't regret it.

At the same time, just balance your time between the girl and your friends. Don't ignore your friends' negative comments, evaluate them yourself and see if those are reasonable.

[thefoot]

They all have or have had GF's, and they are pretty popular. They are on the basketball and football teams and all that. I dont think they are jealous. They have never liked her, even before this. She is not sleezy or anything like that and she hasnt ever done anything for them to not like her. I think she is goodlooking, but they don't. And please dont insult my friends. They may be immature at timese but they look out for me. They arent perfect but no one is.