Why do most girls like older guys???

[qpmomma]

Do you really think it appropriate to say the his ex-wives 'trained' him - are you 'trained' and if so, did whoever 'train' you did as good a job?

 

He is a man - not a dog. Perhaps you need to adjust your thinking about male-female relationships.

 

 

It's a figure of speach. There are guys out there who don't know anything about women b/c they lack experience with them. Older guys have more expeirence. If they've already been married they've learned, hopefully, what to say, what not to say, when to fight, when to let things go, that kind of thing. All I meant by that is he's been through all that with his other wives, so he knows what to say if I ask him something. He also knows not to leave clothes lying around, and to do the dishes if I cook. I know he learned this from his other wives. So in a way they "trained" him.

[DN]

Do you really think it appropriate to say the his ex-wives 'trained' him - are you 'trained' and if so, did whoever 'train' you did as good a job?

 

He is a man - not a dog. Perhaps you need to adjust your thinking about male-female relationships.

 

 

It's a figure of speach. There are guys out there who don't know anything about women b/c they lack experience with them. Older guys have more expeirence. If they've already been married they've learned, hopefully, what to say, what not to say, when to fight, when to let things go, that kind of thing. All I meant by that is he's been through all that with his other wives, so he knows what to say if I ask him something. He also knows not to leave clothes lying around, and to do the dishes if I cook. I know he learned this from his other wives. So in a way they "trained" him.

I suggest then that you find another figure of speech - that one is offensive.

[RayKay]

How well was he "trained" (I agree with DN, that is very offensive) if he has been divorced TWICE? It takes more than someone picking up their clothes to make a good, healthy, successful marriage.

[qpmomma]

Hey, I'm still being trained as well.

 

And he's learned a lot from his past.

 

Btw, both his ex-wives cheated on him, and that's why he's divorced.

 

I didn't mean to offend anyone, but, GIVE ME A BREAK! If THAT offended you, I hate to see how you are in day to day conversations! I really hope you learn to let things go, life's too short. Learn to laugh more, and don't take things so seriously.

 

Christina

[novaseeker]

 

Btw, both his ex-wives cheated on him, and that's why he's divorced.

 

Hmmm. Adultery in a marriage is often a sign of other problems, not the initial problem itself. It often gets blamed as the reason for a breakup, but it rarely happens unless there are other significant issues in the marital relationship. Obviously I don't know anything about your bf's situation, but if I were you I would scramble and try to understand what really happened in those marriages.

[DN]

Hey, I'm still being trained as well.

 

And he's learned a lot from his past.

 

Btw, both his ex-wives cheated on him, and that's why he's divorced.

 

I didn't mean to offend anyone, but, GIVE ME A BREAK! If THAT offended you, I hate to see how you are in day to day conversations! I really hope you learn to let things go, life's too short. Learn to laugh more, and don't take things so seriously.

 

Christina

 

Anything that demeans people is offensive - and saying a man was trained by his ex-wives is demeaning to him as a human being. I have a good sense of humour - but I also have a good sense of when words and the meaning behind them are inappropriate.

[RayKay]

Hey, I'm still being trained as well.

 

And he's learned a lot from his past.

 

Btw, both his ex-wives cheated on him, and that's why he's divorced.

 

I didn't mean to offend anyone, but, GIVE ME A BREAK! If THAT offended you, I hate to see how you are in day to day conversations! I really hope you learn to let things go, life's too short. Learn to laugh more, and don't take things so seriously.

 

Christina

 

And I hope you learn not to judge people just because they find the concept of "training" someone as offensive as indicative of whom they are in person, or as to how "serious" they take issues in their lives - considering you have no idea what goes on in their lives or what "issues" they are dealing with.

 

There is a difference between "letting things go" and having a voice when you have an opinion on something.

 

For the record, in "real life" I tend to be a very optimistic, outgoing, active, social person, and have never had someone in "real life" think I took things "too seriously" or told me I needed to "laugh more".

 

It may have been in good humour on your part, but there is no reason why someone should not find the concept of believing your husband was "trained well" by is previous wives somewhat demeaning - not just to him, but to those relationships as well in a sense. I personally would be offended if my current partner said that to me.....and that can either make you think I am "too serious" or not, but the fact is, I can think its offensive regardless.

[qpmomma]

Wow, you call me judgemental? Hmmm, you are the one judging me for useing one word.

 

The reason I don't find the word "training" offensive is b/c we both find it to be a funny figure of speach. He laughs at it as well. And he knows I don't see him as an animal. Btw, one of the reasons we both find it humerous is b/c I am a bird trainer. So, when I tell him he's "learned well", or his ex "trianed him well" he laughs at it and says something like "yeah, guess I learn faster than Spencer" (my parrot). And like I said, I'm being trained as well.

 

And the reson his second wife cheated on him was b/c she thought he should be a mind reader and did not communicate what she thought was wrong with the relationship. I've talked to her about it. I'm not like that, if I think something is wrong, I'll tell him and we'll talk about it.

 

And in case you are wondering, his first wife is a drug addict and I have no real desire to talk to her.

 

Like I said, I didn't mean to offend anyone and I'm not apologizing for what I said. However, I did feel like I should have explained it more.

 

Again, laugh more.

 

Christina

[jevonj77]

Aparently there seems to be a problem with the word trained when applied to humans...

 

You stated that you are 21...I do not think you were born yesterday...but maybe I am wrong...(qpmomma)

 

Anyone living in the US or who has had acess to US generated television knows that when this word is used towards( usually a man directed by a woman) it means that he is being 'trained' sort of like how you would 'train' an animal...like a dog or pet...This is the implication...that is why it is offensive...that is also why it would be "funny' to some...because they already know what you mean...

 

If you want to act like words do not have meanings besides what the original word means...well then I would have to wonder as to how much education you have...

 

I also bet that if you said that to your current partner...he would not take it too lightly and if he does it is working on him and I am sure he does not like it...a relationship does not just end in one day...

 

If someone learns from life...they have learned well...you don't say that they have been trianed in this context because it is demeaing...a word gains its meaning simply by the context in which it is used...

 

If you said that he went to law school and was trained well there to be a lawyer, this would not be offensive...why...because when this is usually used...'we' know what you mean...but when you use it that way...as in these past women of his 'trained' him well...you are going into the whole debate of women versus men and that some people think women are the smarter ones or that men are the smarter ones and such...You don't go there and not expect for people to be offended...

 

I can see that you were being quite humorous about it...however...when one can see that the humor is kind of based in what one really thinks...it gets kind of offensive...

 

He has learned a lot from his past experiences...this puts the credit on him...it lets us know that you know that he is a human capable of learning not in the manner that a dog does...but in the manner that a human does.

[qpmomma]

Language is always changing. Meanings of words change. Depending on a person's background words don't mean the same to everyone. In my background the word "train" in the context I used it earlier, has no offensive meaning. In fact, where I come from, it's cute.

 

This is the first time I have used it and someone got offended by it. That said, I did not mean to offend anyone. I had no idea it would. However, I am not going to ask everyone if they get offended by something everytime I post.

 

That said, since I know it offends ppl on this board, I won't use it in that context anymore on this board. Like I said, I don't want to offend anyone here.

 

However, I am not going to go out of my way to accomidate everyone. I don't worry about being pc.

 

Christina

[DN]

I don't think I am pc either - my friends would laugh thmselves silly at the very idea!!

 

But just because people don't agree it doesn't necessarily mean that either of them is being politically correct nor does the implication that someone is being so validate a position one way or the other.

[JonnyG]

They have money, they have bigger muscles, they have cars, and now all her little friends can be oh so jealous of her.

 

Good answer, v.true.

 

When I was in the final years of school being 17-18, all the girls there dated older guys, and it seemed the older the better. They literally bragged about their bfs ages. Its funny how the "maturer" girls were actually acting immature.

 

Now im 23, been through uni, and suddenly age isnt such a big deal. Girls tend to like guys because how they look and their personality and age doesnt even seem to matter. Go to uni and u will find this. I prefer older girls. And luckily im pretty successful with older girls. Hell, i've seen a girl who is 8 and 1/2 years older than me last year and saw the same girl this year, and even after recently deciding its not a good idea to make it really serious, we still are planning to see each other sometimes (probably a bad idea). Last summer I had a sex-only relationship with a girl who was 4 years older than me. 2 weeks ago I met a 29 year old girl who was gorgeous and clever and pulled (snogged her). Stupidly i didnt get her number I seem to end up attracting girls who tend to be older than me. Point is, its possible

 

I think its just a phase that girls go through from 15-20. After that age isnt so important, however, having said that, I believe the majority still would prefer an older bf. Im guessing its because they feel more protected by them.

[LiL Miss Jenn]

Hi!

 

Older guys tend to be more on our "level", as girs mature faster than guys. I guess it may also have something to do with security. If he is older, he probably has a job, a car, and overall...just more to offer. Some girls may feel an older guy can "take care of them".

[Rayana]

Im 23 years old and have always preferred older men. I cannot even think about being with someone who is below thirty. I guess its because im very mature and find it difficult to relate with men my own age. I think older men are more attractive , experiance and stable in their lives and jobs.

[kaoticbaby]

i did the older thing for a while, and while it's nice to be with someone more mature (assuming ofcourse age would always bring maturity, which in some cases it does not) and with more "experience," when youre llookign for a real relationship, as someone said, i think its best to be with someone close to your age. Why? You're going through the same experiences, you can help eachother through, you can relate to eachother, you can support eachother. My boyfriend now is four months younger than me and i love him, and although when i met him he wasnt as mature as he is now, he was still great in my eyes. He's grown up a little since being with me, but surprise he's still my age. I was one of those girls who liked older guys in highschool. Why? Because they were popular, they had cars, they had jobs. Yes, it's immaturity, not maturity, which makes girls go for older guys. Now dont take offense, it is possible to fall in love with an older guy. But while some highschool relationships do go on, how many of them were just shallow flings?

[anitsirc]

Could it be that girls like older guys because women in general like to stay young? You will never see a women who purpously wrinkles her skin and folds lugage under her eyes. When a girl is with an older guy, anytime she feels like she is getting old, she can just look at her b/f and say "Well I'm not as old as that dufus." And now it just became an instinct for all women to like older guys.

[armchairshrink]

link removed

 

Hey, I thought the question was "Why do girls like older guys?"

 

I had 3 boyfriends in high school. My first was a sweet guy my own age (15), who had no clue what to do with a girl. He didn't know how to kiss, how to approach the whole sex thing, what was and was not appropriate behavior in public (I had to explain that groping my crotch in the midst of a roomful of people was embarrassing for everyone, not just me). He was by no means stupid or immature; he was just inexperienced. And his hormones had taken complete control over his pretty considerable intelligence. I dated him for 9 months before I just couldn't take any more. And having to explain that crotch-groping thing more than once got really irritating.

 

My second bf was a year older than me. And although he was probably more immature than my first boyfriend, he at least knew how to treat a girl. The fact that he had a car made it easier to date him and that's the only reason I liked the fact he had a car! Where I grew up, nothing was within walking distance -- it was a very rural area. So you had to have wheels to get anywhere -- the movies, restaurants, your best friend's house. And it goes without saying that it's very awkward having your mom in the car when you're trying to make out!! Incidentally, this "older" guy and I only lasted 3 months, and his car had nothing to do with it.

 

My third boyfriend in high school was a year younger than me. I was his first girlfriend, so he was just as clueless as my first bf -- but he was courteous enough not to paw me, and sensitive enough to ask what I wanted and how I wanted to be treated. He was very intelligent (we were within 1 IQ point of one another, and didn't know or care whose IQ was higher) and at least as mature as I was. Just to blow another stereotype out of the water, he was a former football player (a knee injury stopped him from playing anymore). This bf and I lasted for 6 years!

 

And, since I didn't get my driver's license 'til I was 17, we had to have someone drive us on our dates -- usually my mother. And although my mom was very progressive and very cool (all but one of the kids in my school liked my mom), IT WAS STILL embarrassING to have your mother, your boyfriend, and your hormones in the same car!

 

The point of this little story? Not every girl who likes an older guy with a car is materialistic; and not every younger guy is immature.

 

And guys, you don't have to own your own car; just having access to one prevents you from going dating with your mom, which makes a girl more comfortable.