ex afraid to re-date cause of friendship...

[deRocket5]

I just had a nice long talk with my ex-girlfriend...about the fact that I still liked her...she has a boyfriend now, but keeps telling me that it won't last long...

 

In the convo we had tonight she basically said that she didn't wanna date bc she was afraid to lose me as a friend (pretty basic right). I tried to assure her that that wouldn't happen, cause I sure as hell wouldn't let it, as she wouldn't, but she assured me that the future was uncertain...

 

Two part question...do I wait around and see if she changes her mind, and if theres anything I can do to maybe speed up the process...basically is it worth it...idk

 

thanks...

[chai714]

do I wait around and see if she changes her mind, and if theres anything I can do to maybe speed up the process...basically is it worth it..

 

NO, NO, NO. Never wait for something or someone to come around. Your time on earth is limited, so make the best of it by being proactive.

 

You shouldn't continue to assure your ex that a) you like her and b) you'll give anything to have a friendship with her.

 

It's understandable that you want her back, but wearing your heart on your shirt is the worst thing you can do. Instead, keep contact with her but don't tell her how you feel. In fact, how you feel about her has nothing to do with making her want to come back. It may be good for you that she's telling you things won't work out with her current, but you must not reassure her that you'll be there waiting. As far off as this sounds, try dating other women to get your current situation into perspective. No human should have as much control over someone as you're giving your ex. Remember, the more you reassure her that your hers for the taking, the less likely she is to take you up on your offer.

[melrich]

definitely don't wait around for her. You need to get on with life. Waiting around just sends the wrong message.

[waiting]

Cant quite agree. If you love them, and you really want them back, wait as long as it takes.

 

BUT - you cant put your life on hold. Date other women (but dont lead them on), do whatever you want with your life. You can let them know how you feel, but i think you need to be firm with yourself about what you want. If want more than friends, dont be a friend. If that means leaving them alone until they figure it out, so be it.

 

And dont ignore someone special should they turn up in the meantime. If you have moved on of your own accord by the time they figure out that they want to be with you, thats their bad luck. Do the right thing by yourself.

[Sexychiick16]

What you should do is give her a little space.

well Pretty much b/c She'll want you more. It's like proven to work

in the past for me and this one dude that was uncertain with

whether we'd be friends is still in love with me after breaking up

 

So just give her a little time. Don't bring

up the dating thing with her unless

she comes to you and talks about it

first. But yeah

 

My advice may have been expired lol...But it worked

for me.

 

Like im not saying to not talk to her at all...Just

don't call her, let her call you, don't come up to her,

let her come up to you...You get it?? Well I unno

I may be wrong, but it worked for me before.