Nice guys do finish last!!!

[Frajhav]

Hehe the hell thing its just to put a point =)

 

In other words just be direct and move on ^^

[MetallicAguy]

Nice guys are the best guys. In fact, they are the only REAL MEN around

Had to laugh at this.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Why is that funny?

[Shinobie]

he prolly thinks its funny because he thinks of how the strong guys are the real men who go up too women or the ones who are strong strength wise.

[ShySoul]

Strong: someone who endures all the talk about how nice guys finish last, and how he has to change if he ever has any hope of finding a girl... and yet he sticks to being himself cause he knows being the nice guy is the right thing to do.

 

Strong: someone who has strength of heart, character, and wisdom... not strength of the body.

 

Real man: staying true to yourself no matter the odds; love, understanding, compassion, respect, generous, thoughtful; having respect and focusing on the friendship first.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Strength also means never giving up, no matter how difficult the circumstances become. It means hoping aganist hope, and perservering forward, no matter the pain.

[MetallicAguy]

and how he has to change if he ever has any hope of finding a girl... and yet he sticks to being himself cause he knows being the nice guy is the right thing to do.

So your saying anyone that's not a nice guy will never get a gf? Most the guys in my family are not nice guys like you ShySoul and they sure have good marriages, its surprising that only one guy in my family who is 72 is divorced....and I'm not sure whether he's a nice guy or not.

 

and yet he sticks to being himself cause he knows being the nice guy is the right thing to do.

You give me the impression that your always trying to get a woman's approval.

[Shinobie]

I guess its the fact that we have more morals.Being nice makes me fricken happy.I be nice and do things for people not expecting anything in return.But one question i got to ask if these other guys are so strong?Why is it that us guys can supress our hormones and they cannot >_

[funnyCAgirl]

I think this depends on the girl. Girls with lots of issues like guys who make them feel bad about themselves. Personally I like a guy who treats me with respect, does sweet things and listens to me. That is something that just makes me melt and I cant help myself. For me seeming too "nice" means there is no spark and it has nothing to do with wanting to be treated worse.

[Shidoshi]

This isn't mine, but it's some food for thought for all you so called "nice-guys."

[ShySoul]

I guess its the fact that we have more morals.Being nice makes me fricken happy.I be nice and do things for people not expecting anything in return.But one question i got to ask if these other guys are so strong?Why is it that us guys can supress our hormones and they cannot

 

Shinobie, I love ya man. That was brillant. Don't change. You've got the right attitude and with continued confidence your going to be the one the girls go wild for, and the guys get jealous at.

 

So your saying anyone that's not a nice guy will never get a gf?

 

No, they'll get a girlfriend. Then one of two things happen. Either they stay as they are and end up with an ex-girlfriend. Or they will change and become a nice guy in order to keep the relationship.

 

And I doubt there good guys like me, cause I'm one of a kind. 8)

 

You give me the impression that your always trying to get a woman's approval.

 

Then you've got the wrong opinion. I seek no one's approval. I follow my heart and I follow my soul. If they entire world is against me, so be it. As long as I know what I am doing is the right thing to do. And no one can argue that what I'm saying isn't the right thing to do - be a good person and love everyone.

 

For me seeming too "nice" means there is no spark

 

You equate spark with the wrong things then. Being nice can generate more sparks, heat, and electricity then you would think.

 

Shidoshi, that was the most hilarious post I've read. Thanks for making me laugh.

[jordan_2]

Shinobie Said:

I be nice and do things for people not expecting anything in return

 

that is one major difference that separates the "nice guy" and the "everyone hates me nice guy"

 

the genuine nice guy is one who loves the world and respects life in general, whereas the "nice guy" that complains about being a vitcim of love is simply doing nice things to attract attention from the girl that they are trying to score with...

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

All the people on this thread who are proclaiming themselves as "nice guys" should quit telling everyone how nice they are, and just go out and help people. If you are nice, then go out and help the Red Cross, or whatever charity that you like to help. Mumbling that girls ignore "nice guys" is a pointless discussion, and does not help anyone.

[cichlid]

All the people on this thread who are proclaiming themselves as "nice guys" should quit telling everyone how nice they are, and just go out and help people. If you are nice, then go out and help the Red Cross, or whatever charity that you like to help. Mumbling that girls ignore "nice guys" is a pointless discussion, and does not help anyone.

Well said! =D>

[darkblue]

All the people on this thread who are proclaiming themselves as "nice guys" should quit telling everyone how nice they are, and just go out and help people. If you are nice, then go out and help the Red Cross, or whatever charity that you like to help. Mumbling that girls ignore "nice guys" is a pointless discussion, and does not help anyone.

 

I come here to help people...

 

When you see 'nice guys' "mumbling that girls" ignore them, it's simply venting their frustration. They're still the same people at the end of the day and most likely they won't change their attitudes.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Yes, but mumbling does not get anyone anywhere. If people come here to ask for advice for picking up girls, we should help them. But mere mumbling does not really do anyone any good.

[darkblue]

Yes, but mumbling does not get anyone anywhere. If people come here to ask for advice for picking up girls, we should help them. But mere mumbling does not really do anyone any good.

 

"mumbling" isn't the right word.

 

Venting is. And people come here to 'vent' practically everyday.

 

It gets a load off your chest; even you vent, through your poems.

[funnyCAgirl]

I guess what I meant is that I really like nice guys when I attracted to them and there is a spark. Sometimes men might misinterpet that a woman does not like them because they are too nice when she just really is not into them.

 

Its no different then when a women thinks she said something wrong to drive a guy away and really he just is not that into her for whatever reason.

 

I guess my point is that being nice is a very good idea if the girl is into you.

[Miss M]

Not all nice guys finish last. My BF is one of them that didn't.

 

Anyway, I would definitely read this

link removed

 

You'll have to add an "i" where the "*" is because it edits it. >.

 

Here's an article I think sums up a real nice guy pretty well:

 

link removed

 

These are both great links, very helpful. Thanks lots. I feel like I had some of the pieces sorted out, and now these links gave me the rest.... and clarity.

 

Here's an excerpt from the link suggested by ShyShoul...

But sooner or later I believe each man has to ask himself, "Of what good are my beliefs concerning love, respect, kindness.. if I never make a stand to defend and lead in such areas?" Unkind men, or shall I say... not-nice-guys, are willing to make a noise and live by their creeds of selfishness and callousness even at great cost to themselves. And though no one observing can really endorse their foolishness, they quietly compliment the arrogance it takes to do so.

 

If insecure, ill-tempered, irrational violent men are willing to defend and exercise their rights to a dunghill of ideals at the expense of others... the question begs to be asked... "Who among you 'nice-guys' has the courage to lead daily.. showing your part of the world what real kindness, giving love, patient, sincere forgiveness, honest relationships, forbearance and so many Golden truths with the same vehemence and passion?!" Leaders end up being noticed, and so do their mistakes. Leaders have no shortage of harsh critics. No one faults an unfair man for a moment of kindness. But as a true, bona-fide, trying-your-damnedest-to-be-a Nice Guy.. as soon as you screw up it'll fly back in your face faster than you can say, "Uh-oh." And you will fail. That much is unavoidable. And therein lies the fear. But when you want it bad enough, when you're ready to begin leading... you lead as best you can against the odds, whether anyone follows or not, and surely whether or not some woman decides to give you her heart or not. And when you're done wiping the mud off your face you get back up again and continue on your course. And day by day you make it known, "This is where I'm going." And you lead.

 

Ahh, yes. Thanks again.

[Shidoshi]

A lot of the "nice guys" on this board complain about having nothing but the greatest of intentions with girls but they never get them, or atleast the ones they want. Nobody's saying you shouldn't be a nice guy, but being nice in and of itself isn't going to land you the girl you want (most times). They've got more issues going on. Hell, I'm a nice guy, not ALL the time, but I have a good heart. You need to have a balance, that's what these guys lack, and they aren't "assertive" with women and that causes a lot of problems for them.

 

It does no good to keep telling them that being nice is great and they shouldn't change just to fit in. These guys need to start embracing their masculinity and stop being afraid to be more "bold" with women. Something about them is turning girls off, do you think things will change as long as they continue to behave the same way?

The problem with the passive approach is that it requires negotiation on the part of the 'Nice' male. He needs a psychological contract with the potential female and himself that implies he can make up for his inadiquacies by providing what he hopes she thinks she isn't getting from the masculine male - identification and/or affirmation. He thereforeeee modifies his own personality to cater to this dynamic. The better he believes it, the better he hopes she will believe it.

[ShySoul]

All the people on this thread who are proclaiming themselves as "nice guys" should quit telling everyone how nice they are, and just go out and help people. If you are nice, then go out and help the Red Cross, or whatever charity that you like to help. Mumbling that girls ignore "nice guys" is a pointless discussion, and does not help anyone.

 

In my defense I was community service officer for a club and have done plenty of community service over the years. And I am helping people on this site. So its not like I don't do my part.

 

And as I've said, everyone needs to vent frustrations at some point. That what these posts from nice guys are about, not complaining but venting. People need to get those feelings out and its helpful to them to hear supportive words saying they are on the right track.

 

When you see 'nice guys' "mumbling that girls" ignore them, it's simply venting their frustration. They're still the same people at the end of the day and most likely they won't change their attitudes.

 

And they person they are is a nice respectful genuine nice guy. By giving them encouragement they are more likely to stay that way instead of giving in to the dark side.

 

Sometimes men might misinterpet that a woman does not like them because they are too nice when she just really is not into them.

 

True, but that has nothing to do with him being nice. Being nice is just an easy excuse that guys turn to because so many people promote the idea of nice guys finishing last, being losers and all that stuff. Being nice is good no matter what, because being nice has nothing to do with picking up girls, it has to do with being a good person. If the girl is attracted to you or not, you still should be nice to her.

 

These are both great links, very helpful. Thanks lots. I feel like I had some of the pieces sorted out, and now these links gave me the rest.... and clarity

 

Glad they were helpful Miss M.

[Shidoshi]

Shidoshi, that was the most hilarious post I've read. Thanks for making me laugh.

Glad you liked it.

 

The truth can be really hard to swallow sometimes. It may even bring you comfort to know that you aren't the only one using this strategy.

[ShySoul]

The truth can be really hard to swallow sometimes. It may even bring you comfort to know that you aren't the only one using this strategy

 

If I was following that strategy the world would be falling apart. I'm not following any strategy other then to be myself and do whats right. I don't follow any strategy. You can analyze actions to death and never get anywhere. So I say, just be you, do the right thing. It will work out for the best.

[Shinobie]

Being a 'nice guy' simply should identify one's lifestyle to practice that which we hope to find scarcely in mankind... Kindness. The willingness to respect and treat others with the same measure we hope for ourselves. I say 'hope', for true virtue will extend these kindnesses even to those who fail to give them in return.

So anyone that's not a nice guy is abusive? Crock of ****.

 

Women say they want NICE GUYS, meaning a jerks qualities that they like but take away the abuse. Everyone just says it in the wrong way. Saying nice guy is like saying clingy, inexperienced, panzy, and doesn't "get" women.

 

Did u mean that last sentence about nice guys?Dont get what sentence you were using "everyone just says it the wrong way line" for

[ShySoul]

These guys need to start embracing their masculinity and stop being afraid to be more "bold" with women. Something about them is turning girls off, do you think things will change as long as they continue to behave the same way?

 

But what is masculinity? Seems to me like they are embracing their masculinity more. They see the things that make a real man - what's on the inside, there heart, strength, character, etc.... there just not following the stereotypes of what makes a man cause they are smarter then that.