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You all know my messed up story about my wife who is really in limbo with us..the story just stays the same here. She went out last night and as usual calls me about 10 times in the night (yes, this is the woman who says she hates having to report to me). She starts to tell me how great I am, I'm the greatest person she ever met, that she cant be with anyone than me, that if I'm patient that we'll be back otgether, how much she cares for me and all that crap. I said nothing the whole time. Bu she calls and calls and when she gets home its the same thing.


Why do they bother to do this? she wants this over and then says those things to me? I dont understand this. And still she wants no divorce and wont sign the papers. Its obviously just drunken BS that she comes out with everytime shes drinking...


God, i start to hate this woman...

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Hate's a strong word and I don't think you mean it.


She was missing you, amplyified by the drink and she phoned you.


yeah I of course dont hate her but I dont appreciate having my emotions trampled all over. I dont know about missing me, we still live together for the next two weeks. I told her when shes out NOT to call me again. Since we finished shes been out about 7 times and each time shes called about 10 times in the night before coming home and saying the same things. She knows how it makes me feel.

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Have you thought about not answering the phone?


Mostly i didnt answer when it rang, but I cant leave it all night incase its my job calling for me. she goes out 9pm, first call at 9.30, next at 11.30 (asking me to tell her to come home..go figure!), next at 1am, and then again and again until she comes home at 5. the phone rang about (and thgis is no lie) 30 times that night in those hours.

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No excuses.


That's not acceptable. Switch your phone off if possible, or change your number/sim card.


You don't need that.


She calls me at our place. We still live together. My cell gets turned off when I go to bed. I asked her numerous times to go and live at her fathers place until we (me and my son) are gone to the UK. I told her in fact I demand she goes there. She wont. For ten idiotic reasons. She knows its not easy for me to have her around but seems indifferent to the whole thing. She says its because she wants to spend time with our son. Now, since he came back from his hoildays she's spent no more than 5 hours with him (hes back about 6 days).Shes either out meeting friends, studying at some coffee shop or at work (she works 3 hrs a night two nights a week). Today i said we could all go to the city and she could spend sometime with him. Nope. Shes gotta study. She didnt worry about her studies when she went out the other night.

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I guess just tough it out for the next two weeks anf then go to the UK with your son. Maybe she won't bother you there.


Hopefully. I dont think she will. Right now, I'm too readily available for her. With or without me trying my hardest to stay out of her way. When I'm gone it should all start to calm down. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.

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I dont know what she wants, and thats being 100% honest. The only thing I know for certain is that she doesnt want to be together with me anymore. She seems to think that we could try again later. She loves me but isnt in love with me. The whole thing got to difficult for her she says, it went too wrong. I agree with her but I know that none of our problems werent fixable. We needed to spend more time together as a couple. Thats all it was. But she is not interested. I offered her time alone and all the usual.


Now I'm just refusing to hug her, kiss her and whatever else. Theres just a line and now I have to think about me and how I will move forward. I cant move on with all the hugs and kissing and all that. It has to stop. Now shes pretty werid since all this started. Crying and so on. I'm not trying to punish her or be mean for the sake of it. But I need to do this. I cant have my head in that mess anymore. What should we do? keep going like some half couple until one day she meets someone else and then says we have to stop all that? Not going to happen for me.

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Why does she want to kiss and hug you if she is no longer in love with you? Is she playing, confused or just getting a fix?


Do you think she would be willing to give it another try and her saying "we could try again later" is a defensive response? What if you said to her " what can we do to rescue this relationship" when she is coming to you for hugging and kissing. Would you be willing to say that and work at it if she has some ideas.

Sorry, I'm just confused about her behavior too...wondering what else is going on here.


Or is this totally over for you ?

If it is then I agree with you about the hugging and such. No use giving into that when you are not getting what you want ( the relationship) and it's keeping you from moving on. She has to live with her decision to break up with you....that's the only way she will know if she did the right thing or made a huge mistake.

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From the previous thread that you posted about her it seems to me that she is the one who is treating you extremely badly. It seems to me she wants the security of a marriage without any of the responsibility. Very selfish and self-absorbed.


To go out drinking with her friends three times a week and constantly call you while she is doing that; to want hugs and kisses but no marriage, to say she wants her space but no divorce, is showing zero concern for your feelings and needs.


I would not stay with this woman a moment longer than necessary. Even if you were to get back together once she has 'found herself' the wounds she has inflicted by such behaviour are unlikely to heal in a way to make the reconciliation viable.


As I said before, figure out how to co-parent your child (although she seems to have little concern for his well-being either right now), file for divorce and find someone who both loves and respects you. She does not.

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