Question

[NSUstud]

Okay. To start off I am definitely not the thinnest person in the world. I like this girl who I am good friends with, but since I am rather heavy I have had bad experiences asking girls out. How can I get her to like me when I am not as physically attractive as most guys? I should also point out that her dating life is also not very good.

[DiscipleOfChange]

personality may be your best aid dude. While I am one to argue the (albeit initial) importnace of looks, the guys who are only as deep as their looks (so I'm told) aren't as interesting to women as the guys who can charm, be good conversationalists and listen intently.

[asdf]

personality does go a longer way than looks. of course, looks do count too, i mean you have to look like you take care of yourself, cause it reflects on your personality.

 

if you think you're a bit heavy, there's no harm in trying to lose weight either so you won't have to deal with this problem as much.

[melrich]

How can I get her to like me when I am not as physically attractive as most guys?

 

You may not be able to. Unfortunately most of us have experienced unrequited love at some stage in our lives.

 

I can only suggest that you just continue being yourself with her. If she is attracted to you she will let you know in some way. Does she know how you feel about her?

 

not as physically attractive as most guys?

 

There is no point in pretending otherwise, physical appearance is important. Especially with teenagers and young 20s. The importance of physical appearance fades as you get older but the doesn't help you now.

 

Work out what gear you look best in and wear it. Try and work out what are your best features (maybe other friends could help with this) and highlight those.

 

You know most people when they wake up in the morning aren't that good looking.

 

If you are overweight then probably just for health reasons it is a good idea to lose a bit.

[NSUstud]

I am actually currently trying to lose weight and I have also purchased new clothes. I am told that I have a great personality and I also have a great sense of humor. Ladies will this make up for wut i lack in looks?

[JRM]

I hear a lot that to girls, looks don't matter nearly as much as they matter to guys. Girls will appreaciate your confidence.

 

I know I'm pretty decent looking, but I still sometimes feel a little insecure about my own looks, but to joke to myself, I look in the mirror and say:

 

You have two choices. You can be ugly and miserable, or you can be ugly and happy.

[easyguy]

You need to start by having a high self esteem and all around confidence. Loving yourself first is extremely important. Be happy with who you see in the mirror everyday before trying to throw someone else into the picture.

[ShySoul]

You need to start by having a high self esteem and all around confidence. Loving yourself first is extremely important. Be happy with who you see in the mirror everyday before trying to throw someone else into the picture.

 

Exactly right.

 

First thing is to not compare yourself to anyone else. You are great as you are. You've been complimented on your humor and personality, qualities which are infinetly more important then looks. And the odds are that you are, like most people, more critical about your appearance then others. I have no doubt that many girls think you are attractive.

[MetallicAguy]

Work on your personality, plus that's what counts mostly anyhow. Looks just gets you through the front door.

 

Anyway if you really want to change your appearance and are tired of being overweight, then basically you need to stop eating fast food and just crappy food (i.e. Cheez-it's). And you should only eat 3 meals a day no snacks. And plenty of exercise and water (or a thirst quencher besides gatorade, gatorade has salt in it so it's not really helping you become hydrated. So stick to Powerade it's better because it doesn't have salt --- I think..check).

 

For your exercise place, whatevers around is good just not some crappy place an example of a good fitness place (24 hour bally's) Make sure you work out everything, back, legs arms stomach, etc or you'll become imbalanced.

[easyguy]

Powerade still has sugar, which is bad for you. Avoid sugary drinks altogether. If you drink soda, start drinking Diet and less of it. You should be drinking water more than anything else (regardless of weight loss or not).

 

Fast food is a big no-no. That's the thing that bites you the most. Start going there less and less; discipline yourself. Don't go immediately on a strict diet. Eat in moderation. Learn to control what you eat. If you go out to a restaurant and order a burger for dinner, hold off on the fries (sub it with something else). Eat more veggies on a regular basis, such as carrot sticks with dip. There are in fact healthy foods out there that I never thought I would enjoy, and I actually did enjoy eating them.

 

Another thing to cut back on -- whites. For example, white bread. Go with whole grain if possible. Pasta is also not very good for you.

 

BUT REMEMBER, nothing is horrible for you (except McDonald's) if you use it in moderation (such as rewarding yourself on Saturday night with pizza or something after a week of healthy foods).

 

I used to be quite overweight, and through some dieting and exercising, I'm practically in shape. I don't think of it as a diet anymore, but just how I eat now.

[Kurodashi]

From my experiences in life, to spite your weight, most people feel the same way. I always saw myself as large, and such, never approached a guy.

After guys approaching me, I gradually found that some really attractive people are too shy also. Dont feel down on yourself because of your apprearance. God knows, I did, and I found out that no one else but me even cared.

 

The BEST way to get a nice girl, is treat her like a princess. Now, this helps if you lack confidense of your physicallity, but it doesnt mean all men shouldnt try this.

If you can think about how much that girl means to you, then show it in your actions - you're set.

 

For a while... imagine yourself as a sexy thin and handsome man - the way YOUD idealise yourself. In other words, FORGET your looks.

Then act like you are the best looking man around. You know why Im suggesting this? Because confidence is THE sexiest element a person can have.

 

Not to mention, Im sure you're being hard on yourself. Beauty's in the eye of the beholder. Make them love youre personality, and the rest will follow suit.

[NSUstud]

I have actually started working on my weight. I am doing as many situps at time as I can. That way I can get rid of the flab. As far as beverage of choice, I always drink water. I go through about 1.5 gallons a day if not 3. One thing that I am struggling on is the talking to the girls. I am quite shy. Any advice to get over this?