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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months. He is 25 and I am 18. His last and most serious relationship ended a year ago and lasted a year and 1/2. Supposedly they were together 24/7, worked together, lived together... the whole she-bang. Anyways, he seems to feel that, since he has been in a relationship that was extremely high maintenance, he wants a relationship with me that is on the opposite end of the spectrum. We are together maybe 3 days out of the week, and when we dont see eachother for awhile we begin to have little arguments about things that involve our relationship. I have called to his attention that it feels like he is in total control and we only hang out when he wants to, do things when he wants to, etc. He agreed and said he feels he might be a little lazy about our relationship and maybe he is taking the low maintanence to an extreme. He said he honestly wants to be with me, and he hasnt lied to me about anything else so I take his word for it. However, I also feel as if I am developing stronger feelings for him. He told me that he loves aspects ABOUT me... but hes not INlove with me "yet". He also said he doesnt want to lie and tell me something only because I want to hear it, and I appreciate his honesty. I am just beginning to wonder if Im wasting my time. The last thing I want to do is fall deeply for him and never feel it in return. Should I just break up with him before my feelings intensify?

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I think a big mistake lots of girls make (myself included) is that we expect too much too soon. Let's face it - you don't really know him. It's only been 3 months. Instead of asking, "Am I wasting my time," I think you should be asking, "hmmm... do I like this guy? Is he good enough for me?" Yeah, 3 months... you don't really know someone all that well. I think that he's being wise to not rush into something he isn't ready for. If this relationship is real, then there will be no problem with taking it slow.


I personally think you should keep your eyes and options open. Go out, have fun, get some new hobbies - don't be available to see him all the time - be mysterious. Because you know how it goes ... you want a guy to like you, and you try to get closer and he runs, but if you pull back, he'll run after you. So, pull back a little.... Be slightly aloof....


good luck

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