wish girls would be more assertive

[asdf]

honestly, if you're not going to take the initiative, then you're probably not a good fit for the girls who prefer guys to take the initiative. simple as that.

[corvidae]

I suppose the last poster has a point, in that if the girls want a guy to take the initiative at the start they will probably want to keep that pattern in the relationship. If you're not the type to want to 'lead' your woman than you're probably wrong for the girls who want you to take control.

 

As for women being passive, well mostly they are. It is a trait I wholly look down upon.

[Caldus]

honestly, if you're not going to take the initiative, then you're probably not a good fit for the girls who prefer guys to take the initiative. simple as that.

 

I agree with you.

[ShySoul]

honestly, if you're not going to take the initiative, then you're probably not a good fit for the girls who prefer guys to take the initiative. simple as that.

 

Or you could try a little thing called compromise. Meet in the middle. Relationships are 50/50 afterall. Sometimes the guy leads, sometimes the girl leads. She pushes you to take the initiative at times, you push her to get over those ideas and show that she doesn't need to depend on the guy to start things.

 

Love changes things. If they two of you compliment each other, if you really care about each other, it will work. A successful relationship needs that balance, no one is in control, no one is the aggressive one and the other the passive one. We are all a bit of both.

 

And if you think girls are passive, come one. Girls are usually the aggressor, they just do it subtly so that the guy thinks he is in charge.

[funnyCAgirl]

Let me know if I am wrong, but most men dont just go around asking girls out that they dotn even really know. Guys who do probably do very well for themselves, but in my lifetime I have only been asked out by someone I barely knew maybe 10 times. All my relationships have been with men who were not so brave.

 

There are so many ways guys get around this like getting involved in groups or going to bars where you will see the same girls over and over... becoming friends just happens... and then asking her out is not so official... sometimes luck just puts you out together on a project or something. Thats just some thoughts on how to get around your shyness.

 

The truth is it sucks to be the girl too because we have just as many questions about you guys... why is he not asking me out... why did he not call me back... It just sucks for everyone.

[Shidoshi]

Women don't ask men out because they don't need to. Women don't ask men out because they don't need to. That's all. Yes, the reason for this is to do with evolution and I could give a very long explanation, but I won't because it doesn't matter.

I agree.

A man, on the other hand, who never asks women out will end up permanently alone. FACT.

For the most part I agree.

I don't like the way people say that a man doesn't have the 'balls' to ask a woman out. Sometimes it has nothing to do with bravery. Maybe the man has 'self-respect' and doesn't see why he has to chase 100% of the time!

What does 'self-respect' have to do with it? If you want a particular woman you're going to have to pursue her if she doesn't pursue you, which is going to be the case most of the time.

Women do NOT make the first move with signals. That is rubbish that women tell themselves to make themselves feel braver than they really are.

I don't really think it's because they want to seem more "brave," rather it's what they do to let you know in a more subtle way that they want you to approach. Most women who are interested in a guy don't make it known in an overt fashion, they almost need some kind of rational (atleast in their own mind) excuse to talk the guy so it doesn't seem like they're desperate and/or needy.

Lastly. I'm afraid the people on this site who say 'that's the way it is' are right. BUT, you don't have to put up with it, as you can live your life without relationships (but with dignity at least). It's your choice

But where will that get you? For the most part, men want women they can enjoy sex with, if she's relatively attractive and not a psycho that would pretty much satisfy a lot of men (whether or not the guys on this forum will admit it). If you don't do what is necessary to get these women you're going to drive yourself into depression. You cannot ignore the desire to be with the opposite sex, for that is the driving force behind a lot of our interactions/activities in life.

[ShySoul]

A man, on the other hand, who never asks women out will end up permanently alone. FACT.

 

Or he could end up with girls asking him, falling madly in love with one of them, and ending up happy ever after. It happens.

 

For the most part, men want women they can enjoy sex with, if she's relatively attractive and not a psycho that would pretty much satisfy a lot of men (whether or not the guys on this forum will admit it).

 

Sigh... if thats the case, men are scum and a disgrace. Most men want more, rather or not you want to admit it.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Remember that people change as they age, and are very different at different times of thier life. When they are young, it's true that most guys want to just sleep with girls, but as they age, they become more committed, and they seek more romantic relations.

 

As guys age, most of them go from being "players" to being "nice guys." And most of them will end up married.

 

Remember that being a player requires a lot more effort than being someone who is committed. This is because every single time the player guy meets a girl, he has to spend so much time and money on her...for the "nice guy" in a committed relationship, there is only a one time investment (though the romance should continue through out the marriage)

[SkyFire]

For the most part, men want women they can enjoy sex with, if she's relatively attractive and not a psycho that would pretty much satisfy a lot of men (whether or not the guys on this forum will admit it). If you don't do what is necessary to get these women you're going to drive yourself into depression. You cannot ignore the desire to be with the opposite sex, for that is the driving force behind a lot of our interactions/activities in life.

 

I wouldn't say this is completely false.

 

At first, you will think that you only want sex. But once you get to the point when you have had enough sex, and wasted your time on enough girls, you will want a high-quality girl. Quality over quantity any day man.

 

As for the depression part; having no women will only make you depressed if you have no hobbies and no life. Once you start living your life, you will realize you dont need women to be happy. Sure you will want them, but not having them will not make you depressed.

 

 

Being a player requires more effort then someone who is committed? HAHA

 

Hate to break it to ya, but keeping a WORTHY relationship is a million times harder than being a player. Picking up girls is way easier than keeping them. Think about it; picking up and sleeping with a girl can be done in one night. You can be completely fake and pick up a chick for a one-night stand, but where will that get you? In relationships, you cannot be fake. If you are fake, she WILL eventually see through you and dump you in the gutter. In a relationship, you have to work to keep the girl attracted to you throughout the whole relationship.

[Shidoshi]

At first, you will think that you only want sex.

Well, kind of, but not exactly. When you see a woman you find physically attractive the thought will cross your mind, but it may change depending on how she responds to you.

But once you get to the point when you have had enough sex, and wasted your time on enough girls, you will want a high-quality girl. Quality over quantity any day man.

Sorry man, I don't think you can ever get "enough," the desire for sex remains a constant for most healthy people, granted as you age it becomes less of a driving force until it either comes to a halt, or you die. Whether or not you end up with someone who you want to be with in a committed relationship depends on the luck of the draw, and what exactly it is you think you're looking for.

As for the depression part; having no women will only make you depressed if you have no hobbies and no life.

True to a point. However, there will come a time when it will take a toll on you psychologically if you go without it for extended periods of time. Everybody's different as far as how long they can go without, but there is a limit. You're a young guy though, so it isn't as much of an issue for you yet, and I definitely wouldn't advise you to rush it.

[Shidoshi]

Quote:

For the most part, men want women they can enjoy sex with, if she's relatively attractive and not a psycho that would pretty much satisfy a lot of men (whether or not the guys on this forum will admit it).

 

 

Sigh... if thats the case, men are scum and a disgrace. Most men want more, rather or not you want to admit it.

Men are scum and a disgrace for wanting to enjoy sex with attractive women? Hmmm......spoken like a true virgin. Have you had sex yet? Not that I expect you to tell me, but it's amazing how you believe you know what guys want given your lack of experience in sexual relationships with women. I never said that sex is the ONLY thing guys want, but it is a top priority. Any guy that is honest with himself realizes this.

[ShySoul]

Men are scum and a disgrace for wanting to enjoy sex with attractive women? Hmmm......spoken like a true virgin. Have you had sex yet? Not that I expect you to tell me, but it's amazing how you believe you know what guys want given your lack of experience in sexual relationships with women. I never said that sex is the ONLY thing guys want, but it is a top priority. Any guy that is honest with himself realizes this.

 

 

 

Well, considering I have heard the same things I say from those who aren't virgins, I'm not just speaking on behalf of that group. And I am being completely honest when I say sex is the last thing on my mind when it comes to a relationship with a girl. Just because I haven't had sex, doesn't mean I haven't thought of it. And I'm sure when the time comes it will be great. But I want everything else more, thats just the cherry on the sundae if you ask me.

 

And I did spend the night next to a girl. There was nothing sexual about it. She liked that, liked that I could just spend hours holding her and that she didn't have to worry about me wanting anything more. I've rarely managed sex with her, and when we do its always more about how we want love and connection, not sex. Seriously, sex shouldn't be a goal or factor, it should be the last piece of the puzzle.

[MetallicAguy]

Men are scum and a disgrace for wanting to enjoy sex with attractive women? Hmmm......spoken like a true virgin. Have you had sex yet? Not that I expect you to tell me, but it's amazing how you believe you know what guys want given your lack of experience in sexual relationships with women. I never said that sex is the ONLY thing guys want, but it is a top priority. Any guy that is honest with himself realizes this.

rofl. Go shidoshi.

 

 

 

She liked that, liked that I could just spend hours holding her and that she didn't have to worry about me wanting anything more

That's because oxytocin is released in the brain when cuddling with your gf, the same love hormone is released in a woman when she is nursing a baby.

 

Well I think Shidoshi is right in a way, there shouldn't be anything wrong with guys wanting to enjoy having sex with attractive women, that doesn't make guys scum or a disgrace. I mean it is our primitive urge to have sex with a woman that is healthy, in other words physically attractive.

[Shidoshi]

And I did spend the night next to a girl. There was nothing sexual about it. She liked that, liked that I could just spend hours holding her and that she didn't have to worry about me wanting anything more.

If the girl isn't ready for sex I don't see anything wrong with her enjoying that. Being "worried" is definitely not going to help her get in the mood anyway. I wonder why she was worried about you wanting to have sex with her.

I've rarely managed sex with her, and when we do its always more about how we want love and connection, not sex.

You've "rarely managed sex with her"? So you aren't a virgin. Maybe she has a low sex drive, but I'll admit this does sound a little strange.

Seriously, sex shouldn't be a goal or factor, it should be the last piece of the puzzle.

It's a pretty important piece of the puzzle though. With some women, yes, I'd simply like to sleep with them, but when I'm with a girl in a serious relationship sex isn't necessarily the goal, but if it is non-existant (or "rare"), then so is the relationship, because I'm not going to stick around with a woman who would use sex to manipulate me. Trust me, some of them are verrrrrry good it using sex to take "control."

[Shinobie]

Iono lol its all different opinions.Some men are like OMG HOT GIRL must have sex with her and they go after them and do it all they want.Well ion some of just want to hold it off till a girl truly means everything to us usually marriage because we need things to give us meaning.Where as the other ones truly believe in pleasing themselves it seems.It merely destroys the idea of this for us.As for me with how people treat sex it has just made it so disgusting anymore and destroyed it.People always the your a virgin card to settle the score.Yes we are virgins but we still have our morals we hold to ourselves.And yes we do have these gosh blasted urges and hormones i hate them and i try my hardest to resist them and block them from my mind.Lol always trying to destroy our self-esteem with the virgin card when we imply our points and views.And always the women who are healthy are attractive thing!!!!ONe things if i look at the attractice qualities of a women its their face.And people do not do anything for their looks whatsoever they were born that way it does not make them better.One thing with me too i have an insanely good metabolism i do not get large at all.A women with this and a good face would have it made.These are just some of the girfts we are given in life that we did nothing for.

[asdf]

For the most part, men want women they can enjoy sex with, if she's relatively attractive and not a psycho that would pretty much satisfy a lot of men (whether or not the guys on this forum will admit it).

 

Sigh... if thats the case, men are scum and a disgrace. Most men want more, rather or not you want to admit it.

 

Okay, before I thought you were just extremely naively idealistic and just a slight genetic deviant from most people, but now I see you are simply in self-denial or are a normal person having kicks by pretending to be a guy in self denial on the internet if you really say that men are scum for wanting an attractive non-psycho woman who is not unenjoyable whle having sex.

 

Have fun with your psycho unattractive women!

[ShySoul]

If the girl isn't ready for sex I don't see anything wrong with her enjoying that. Being "worried" is definitely not going to help her get in the mood anyway. I wonder why she was worried about you wanting to have sex with her.

 

Because she's encountered guys who say the same thing you do and make it mainly about sex. That automatically turns her OFF. One of the things that attracted her to me from the beginning was how I never mentioned sex. We met in a chat room, and I'm sure you've been in a few of those where far too many are just looking for sex, wanting to cam or cyber, etc. But I'm the opposite. I'm not looking for sex, I'm looking for love. She has a strong sense of morals and looks at sex as something special. That I'm saying I want to wait for marriage, it touches her and brings us closer on a level that sexual desires never could.

 

And she isn't a virgin, but she says the same things that I do. Actually, she's said she wished she still had that to give me in the future.

 

You've "rarely managed sex with her"? So you aren't a virgin. Maybe she has a low sex drive, but I'll admit this does sound a little strange.

 

Typo, thats "rarely mentioned sex with her." My brain usually thinks faster then I can type. Though its interesting that you would point that out... that combined with the fact that so many off your posts seem to be dedicated to the idea that men need sex so badly...... hmm....

 

It's a pretty important piece of the puzzle though. With some women, yes, I'd simply like to sleep with them, but when I'm with a girl in a serious relationship sex isn't necessarily the goal, but if it is non-existant (or "rare"), then so is the relationship, because I'm not going to stick around with a woman who would use sex to manipulate me. Trust me, some of them are verrrrrry good it using sex to take "control."

 

I'm honest, some women would use sex as a tool. But so do many men. I disagree with all who do. But just because the girl doesn't have a high sex drive around you, doesn't mean she is using that to manipulate you. I find it fascinating that you would leap to that conclusion, as if women are automatically out to get and use the man. So you look at this issue as a way of asserting control in the relationship. And I am sure you read one of my other posts on this wanting control issue to be really about avoiding hurt.

 

Well I think Shidoshi is right in a way, there shouldn't be anything wrong with guys wanting to enjoy having sex with attractive women, that doesn't make guys scum or a disgrace. I mean it is our primitive urge to have sex with a woman that is healthy, in other words physically attractive.

 

Um, you guys can have your sex with attractive women. Then when you want more and find yourself empty and unfulfilled, you'll realize what matters most is the desire to be loved and understood by someone on a much deeper level. You'll see that making love is the culmination of that process, the last tiny piece of the much larger puzzle. That is the higher urge we have.... not sex, nothing physical, but to have an emotional and spiritual bond with another.

 

People always the your a virgin card to settle the score.Yes we are virgins but we still have our morals we hold to ourselves.And yes we do have these gosh blasted urges and hormones i hate them and i try my hardest to resist them and block them from my mind.Lol always trying to destroy our self-esteem with the virgin card when we imply our points and views

 

You go Shinobie.

 

Have fun with your psycho unattractive women!

 

And I get accused of being arrogant.

 

You do realize that one sentence is likely draw the disdain of every female who reads it? You do realize that you are putting down and make gross and unfounded assumptions on people you know nothing about? You have basically said that the women who agree as I do or go for guys like me must be unattractive and psycho? Despite the fact that I have known some very attractive women in my life. I also take that as an insult towards the girl I love, the most beautiful women there is in this world (at least to me).

 

If this is your attidude, I find it incredible that any girl would ever pay you attention. And for the girls who do, I sincerely feel sorry for them.

[Caldus]

Okay, before I thought you were just extremely naively idealistic and just a slight genetic deviant from most people, but now I see you are simply in self-denial or are a normal person having kicks by pretending to be a guy in self denial on the internet if you really say that men are scum for wanting an attractive non-psycho woman who is not unenjoyable whle having sex.

 

Have fun with your psycho unattractive women!

 

He did not mean that he would prefer or even implied that he would get the psycho unattractive women.

 

Um, you guys can have your sex with attractive women. Then when you want more and find yourself empty and unfulfilled, you'll realize what matters most is the desire to be loved and understood by someone on a much deeper level. You'll see that making love is the culmination of that process, the last tiny piece of the much larger puzzle. That is the higher urge we have.... not sex, nothing physical, but to have an emotional and spiritual bond with another.

 

To some people, they simply won't share your views. Some people really just don't believe in love (or don't believe in it yet). I am not talking about girl A breaks up with guy B so guy B is left crying and vowing to never believe in love. Not talking about that. I for one am still challenging the notion of love. Doesn't mean I don't believe in love but it means that I still wonder whether all of this love business (whatever it is for a fact) is plausible to me in the first place. I mean damn, I doubt things in this world too much. So I think your claim is simply opinionated and not meant to be of factual nature.

[Shidoshi]

Quote:

If the girl isn't ready for sex I don't see anything wrong with her enjoying that. Being "worried" is definitely not going to help her get in the mood anyway. I wonder why she was worried about you wanting to have sex with her.

 

 

 

Because she's encountered guys who say the same thing you do and make it mainly about sex.

I said sex is "important," meaning without it, you aren't going to be happy in a relationship. Maybe she's been "played" in the past and she's holding out longer to try and prevent it from happenining again. That doesn't mean she doesn't want sex, it means she wants "security" first. Most women do.

That I'm saying I want to wait for marriage, it touches her and brings us closer on a level that sexual desires never could.

No comment, other than reality is going to hit you like a ton of bricks.

Quote:

You've "rarely managed sex with her"? So you aren't a virgin. Maybe she has a low sex drive, but I'll admit this does sound a little strange.

 

 

Typo, thats "rarely mentioned sex with her." My brain usually thinks faster then I can type. Though its interesting that you would point that out... that combined with the fact that so many off your posts seem to be dedicated to the idea that men need sex so badly...... hmm....

If you "could" have sex with her and you rarely managed to, yes, that would sound strange to me.

I'm honest, some women would use sex as a tool. But so do many men.

Don't kid yourself, men cannot/do not control women with sex, and lets not get into "exceptions," they aren't the rule.

Um, you guys can have your sex with attractive women. Then when you want more and find yourself empty and unfulfilled, you'll realize what matters most is the desire to be loved and understood by someone on a much deeper level.

Yeah, because everyone knows you can't have that with attractive women........

Quote:

People always the your a virgin card to settle the score.Yes we are virgins but we still have our morals we hold to ourselves.And yes we do have these gosh blasted urges and hormones i hate them and i try my hardest to resist them and block them from my mind.Lol always trying to destroy our self-esteem with the virgin card when we imply our points and views

 

 

You go Shinobie.

Shinobie, your virginity is not the issue, not by a long shot. Neither is Shy's.

Quote:

Have fun with your psycho unattractive women!

 

 

And I get accused of being arrogant.

 

You do realize that one sentence is likely draw the disdain of every female who reads it? You do realize that you are putting down and make gross and unfounded assumptions on people you know nothing about? You have basically said that the women who agree as I do or go for guys like me must be unattractive and psycho? Despite the fact that I have known some very attractive women in my life. I also take that as an insult towards the girl I love, the most beautiful women there is in this world (at least to me).

 

If this is your attidude, I find it incredible that any girl would ever pay you attention. And for the girls who do, I sincerely feel sorry for them.

His comment is called "sarcasm." He made it because your response was absolutely ridiculous. Just look at how you analyzed what he said, do really think that's what he meant?

[ShySoul]

He did not mean that he would prefer or even implied that he would get the psycho unattractive women.

 

Was that directed to me? Cause I said nothing about him getting psycho unattractive women. My whole point was the rediculousness of the notion of calling a female a "psycho unattractive women." That very phrase is extremely judgmental, far worse then anything I have ever said about males or females. With that attitude, it won't matter what else you have going, no female is going to want to be anywhere near you.

 

Doesn't mean I don't believe in love but it means that I still wonder whether all of this love business (whatever it is for a fact) is plausible to me in the first place. I mean damn, I doubt things in this world too much. So I think your claim is simply opinionated and not meant to be of factual nature.

 

That is the voice of doubt creeping in. Everyone, regardless of gender, feels like that at some point. But love is for everyone and we all find someone. This isn't my opinion, it is what you can observe happening all around you.

 

I said sex is "important," meaning without it, you aren't going to be happy in a relationship. Maybe she's been "played" in the past and she's holding out longer to try and prevent it from happenining again. That doesn't mean she doesn't want sex, it means she wants "security" first. Most women do.

 

Actually you said that sex is a "top priority" which ranks a tad higher then just "important." Please, don't presume to speak on her behalf and act like you know her thoughts. I'm fine with you saying what ever you want about me or keeping things in generalizations, but class would dictate you don't assume anything about what she wants. I have talked this very topic over with her. What I am saying, she agreed with. I have already that should things get to that level, sex would be just fine with us. But whereas you look at it as I need that is absolutely essential, we see it as something wonderful, but not all its cracked up to be. Simple holding her is enough for me.

 

No comment, other than reality is going to hit you like a ton of bricks.

 

One, no comment is still a comment. Two, then I'll just have to be a carpenter and put it all back together. But of course, thats not what is going to happen. I know me, I know her, I know what I want... reality is what we make of it. Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing. If I believe this is how things will go, it will come true. No, for all the times I envisoned finding someone and being with them.... the real thing wasn't what I expected. It was infinetely more.

 

If you "could" have sex with her and you rarely managed to, yes, that would sound strange to me.

 

Still hung up on that even after I explained it was a typo? Transferring onto me an issue that you.... what was the term for that again?

 

Don't kid yourself, men cannot/do not control women with sex, and lets not get into "exceptions," they aren't the rule.

 

They can and many do. Yes, they might not be the rule, but women doing that isn't the rule either. These people are in the minority and are wrong for such actions.

 

Yeah, because everyone knows you can't have that with attractive women........

 

You seem so determined to separate women into attractive and unattractive. But what is attractive anyways? It depends on the person what they will find attractive, at least physically which is what I believe your talking about. And even one individual will find a variety of female types to be attractive. But you are trying to distract attention from the real issue that I was raising. It wasn't about the word attractive, it was about putting the attention on the sex element instead of whats deeper. That ultimately leads to unfullfillment.

 

Shinobie, your virginity is not the issue, not by a long shot. Neither is Shy's.

 

Then why did you bring virginity into the topic? You started that topic when you said my words were "spoken like a true virgin."

 

His comment is called "sarcasm." He made it because your response was absolutely ridiculous. Just look at how you analyzed what he said, do really think that's what he meant?

 

If it was suppose to be sarcastic he could have clued us in on it by using this: or . When communicated via written words like this it is easy to misinterpret what someone says because we do not have vocal tone or expressions to go off of. The words themselves would lead one to think just as I did. If he means something else by it, he's free to say so and I'll take back what I said as miscommunication. If not, I stand by everything I said.

[asdf]

Have fun with your psycho unattractive women!

 

And I get accused of being arrogant.

 

You do realize that one sentence is likely draw the disdain of every female who reads it? You do realize that you are putting down and make gross and unfounded assumptions on people you know nothing about? You have basically said that the women who agree as I do or go for guys like me must be unattractive and psycho? Despite the fact that I have known some very attractive women in my life. I also take that as an insult towards the girl I love, the most beautiful women there is in this world (at least to me).

 

If this is your attidude, I find it incredible that any girl would ever pay you attention. And for the girls who do, I sincerely feel sorry for them.

 

Well if your girlfriend is that beautiful and not psycho, then that must mean by your former statement that you'd be scum for ever wanting to enjoy having sex with her. Just as well.

[ShySoul]

Well if your girlfriend is that beautiful and not psycho, then that must mean by your former statement that you'd be scum for ever wanting to enjoy having sex with her. Just as well

 

Not scum... more like mildew...

 

Seriously now, the guy being scum is about them looking at the relationship as a way of getting sex. It's when they look at sex as a top priority. I am looking at love as being the priority, sex is merely a manifestation, a declaration of that love. I wouldn't have sex with her because she is attractive or beautiful. Sex would be once we get to the point where we are truly in love and vow to spend our lives together. Then I'll enjoy sex, not because of the sex, but because of the connection and bond we have, the love that is between us. And when I say she is that beautiful, its her heart and spirit that really makes her beautiful, illuminating an already wonderful exterior.

 

If that makes me scum, ok then. But at least I'm romantic scum.

[DN]

ShySoul, I wish there a few more people like you in the world with your attitude to romance and relationships. To many you may seem naive and idealistic. But if more people thought like you there would be much less divorce and a lot more happy and contented partners.

[ShySoul]

Thanks DN. And world could use more insightful people like you as well.

[Caldus]

Was that directed to me? Cause I said nothing about him getting psycho unattractive women. My whole point was the rediculousness of the notion of calling a female a "psycho unattractive women." That very phrase is extremely judgmental, far worse then anything I have ever said about males or females. With that attitude, it won't matter what else you have going, no female is going to want to be anywhere near you.

 

I was mentioning that to asdf, not you. Sorry 'bout that.

 

ShySoul, I wish there a few more people like you in the world with your attitude to romance and relationships. To many you may seem naive and idealistic. But if more people thought like you there would be much less divorce and a lot more happy and contented partners.

 

Heh yeah, and you wonder why there are so many topics in these forums regarding this subject.

 

I respect ShySoul's views. If that's what his heart speaks to him, then no worries. I suspect that he wouldn't just say all of this just to try to be idealistic. Maybe his focus really isn't sex. I guess some people can't believe that in this movement towards absolute obsession with sex. It's all good to want sex, but if you can honestly say to yourself that you're just looking for sex, then you should go get your sex and don't place yourself in a so-called relationship until you believe there is something more happening between the two of you then just infatuation. It's only logical.