wish girls would be more assertive

[SkyFire]

 

And as I said in my last post, society has made this rule, even early society. And I did say afterwards that it is just the way it is and that the guys end up being the go-getters.

 

SOCIETY never made the rule. NATURE did. It happens NATURALLY. NOT because of society.

[sweetheart4ever]

because a man's supposed to have balls and a girl isn't

 

Some girls have biger balls then men do..ha...our sports do n thats a fact..my softballs are biger then your baseballs! so bite it! haha..yall just aint met the right one yet!

[ShySoul]

Some girls have biger balls then men do

 

True.

 

Well, they're in the minority because that is not how most women behave

 

Change is gradual, Rome wasn't built in day. Just because it hasn't become equal yet doesn't mean it won't in the future, girls just need to start asserting themselves more and not buying into what society dictates. Of course, I do come from a rather progressive area so maybe I'm just picking up on the early waves of the movement.

 

It's spelled chauvinist, and you're wrong about me being one.

 

I didn't call you one, I called what you said the words that one would use. The attitude that comes accross in your posts is one of very rigidly defined gender roles. I'm sure your a good guy, but your comments come off as sterotyping, close minded, and may even be interpreted as disrespectful. Just saying. Oh, and when people feel the need to point out spelling mistakes... thats either a sign that they are running low on ways to defend their comments or are more interested in personal attacks. I apoligize for my spelling, sometimes I get so focused on the idea that I'm writing about that I forget to consult a dictionary.

 

Because a guy is supposed to go after what he wants. thereforeeee we cant rely on girls to make the moves.

 

Same line of reasoning can apply to females. People should go for what they want in life, so if a girl is interested in a guy she should make a move. She can't rely on the guy to make a move. Hence the reason I say that whoever notices the other in that way first, should say something and see what happens. Why should they hold themselves back due to some silly notion of what a man and women's roles are? Women have made strives to equality in so many other areas, why hold back on something like this?

 

Alot of women are indecisive, and if you ask them what to do they will say " I dunno". But if you tell them were doing this and that, you get "alright sounds good", at least most of the time. But in a relationship, there isn't anyone who "calls the shots", its about both people

 

The last line makes since. It should be 50/50. I'm all for the guy taking the girl out on a romantic evening, but you go about it in a better way then saying, "we're doing this." It's called tact. Also, men are often just as indecisive... it really all depends on the person. Many women are strong and assertive, many men are indecisive. "Alright sounds good" isn't necessarily a good response. They might just be saying that to make you happy even though they would rather do something else. The best solution is to spilt it 50/50. Work it out together, what each person is in the mood for. Or the guy plans one time, the girl plans the next.

 

Women are more scared of rejection then guys. Again, flame me if you want, but look at this forum as an example.

 

Ok, I will look. I spend most of my time on here helping GUYS who are shy, nervous, and afraid of rejection. I see GUYS talking about how they worry about finding someone or how to attract a girl. Yes, women are scared of rejection.... we ALL are, regardless the gender. One side isn't more afraid then the other, it comes down to the individual.

 

Men are naturally leaders. It's the way it is. Look back in history. Most great leaders/scientists/inventors were MEN. Flame me for saying this if you want, I really dont care. HOWEVER, I am not saying that men are better then women, no. Im saying, men are naturally supposed to lead.

 

Because society built up those rules. Back in caveman days men did the hurting thanks to physical strength. So they assumed they should be in control. Society built up the idea somehow that men were leaders, women stayed at home (which was helped because women give birth to children and thus were more connected to the child). But that has changed slowly but surely. More men are becoming stay at home dads while the women is the breadwinner in the family.

 

Marie Curie, Harriet Tubman, Betsy Ross, Rosa Parks, Helen of Troy (whose face could launch a 1000 ships), Oprah, Elenor Roosevelt, Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth, Mother Theresa... just a few women I can think of offhand that were leaders/inventors/ or in some way had a major impact on society. Hey, how about Hilary Clinton? Think we could see a female president?

[Caldus]

Thank you ShySoul. You explained it much better than I did.

 

Note to self: Take some more English classes.

[Shidoshi]

Most women do not ask guys out, period. Obviously there are going to be exceptions, but that's all they are, EXCEPTIONS. There's all this talk about "society" being the reason behind it. Ok, when have human beings not lived in some kind of society? Blaming society for the reasons why women don't approach guys is far too easy and simplistic. Men and women serve different roles in life and it's been that way throughout our existence.

 

Do you really think that testosterone only enhances physical strength? I'm not saying women can't be "leaders" in certain situations, of course they can be.

Quote:

Well, they're in the minority because that is not how most women behave

 

 

Change is gradual, Rome wasn't built in day. Just because it hasn't become equal yet doesn't mean it won't in the future, girls just need to start asserting themselves more and not buying into what society dictates. Of course, I do come from a rather progressive area so maybe I'm just picking up on the early waves of the movement.

I'm not saying it won't change, I can't predict the future. In fact I believe as long as men become more and more like women, it WILL change.

Because society built up those rules. Back in caveman days men did the hurting thanks to physical strength. So they assumed they should be in control.

You think it's just that simple huh? Men are/were stronger so they just said "hey, we'll take control." That's extremely narrow minded, and incorrect. Using your logic I guess that applies accross the board to all animals. A silverback male gorilla who leads a group because of his dominance is simply doing it because he's strong, and the gorilla "society" dictates this unecessary behavior.

[ShySoul]

Blaming society for the reasons why women don't approach guys is far too easy and simplistic. Men and women serve different roles in life and it's been that way throughout our existence.

 

"Society" is a simple way of defining a much larger phenomenon. It entails all the complex interaction and dynamics between people. It includes peoples emotional, physical, and psycological reactions. I realize its not that easy, but I don't really feel like getting into a long discussion on just what society is. What I'm saying is that the roles of men and women aren't as clear cut as was being made out to be. It has changed over time, and varies from culture to culture. I know I've heard of matriarchly socities, anyone care to look one up for me?

 

Do you really think that testosterone only enhances physical strength? I'm not saying women can't be "leaders" in certain situations, of course they can be.

 

Ever heard the phase, "Hell hath no fury, like a women scorned?" Women are extremely strong people and make great leaders. In fact, if you follow typically assigned female characteristics such as compassion, compromise, empathy.... women would make even better leaders cause they would be able to work things out peacefully.

[SkyFire]

Ever heard the phase, "Hell hath no fury, like a women scorned?" Women are extremely strong people and make great leaders. In fact, if you follow typically assigned female characteristics such as compassion, compromise, empathy.... women would make even better leaders cause they would be able to work things out peacefully.

 

I completely disagree. Compassion, compromise and empathy are all EMOTIONS. In logical thinking, emotion must not be present. Women are alot more emotional then men. Men are NATURALLY given the power to lead.Sure, some women make good leaders. But they possess alot of masculine qualities. Naturally, men make more logical decisions.

 

The examples of women you give are all true... but look at MEN! They have played a far more important role as leaders and inventors. This isnt said to oppress women, its the truth! Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Socrates, Napoleon Bonapart, Alexander the Great, Malcolm X, Arnold Shwarzenegger, ect.

 

You say it is society.. in today's world, society tries to SUPRESS masculinity. Dont believe me? A man is not allowed to be male. The message that is given to us from SOCIETY is that men should worship women like godesses, and that women are majestic creatures and men are dumb brutes. Turn on your tv or go to the local movie theater to see this. In almost every movie nowadays, every male hero meets a female, falls for her, confesses his love, and changes his life for her. In most commercials, men are portreyed as dumb, and women are portreyed as smart and are always the ones to figure everything out.

 

You cannot say women are extremely strong people. There are both, men and women who are very strong. And many who are very weak.

[Caldus]

You cannot say women are extremely strong people. There are both, men and women who are very strong. And many who are very weak.

 

Exactly, but people in general are at least a little insecure in the inside. Not just women. What constitutes a 'logical' person anyway? Everyone in the inside is emotional. We are at least somewhat driven by our own emotions. It is human nature.

[RayKay]

 

I completely disagree. Compassion, compromise and empathy are all EMOTIONS. In logical thinking, emotion must not be present. Women are alot more emotional then men. Men are NATURALLY given the power to lead.Sure, some women make good leaders. But they possess alot of masculine qualities. Naturally, men make more logical decisions.

 

 

No, its not "naturally" that men make more logical decisions. Often is is part of how they were brought up and socialized. Many men were brought up to believe emotion is not a strength, a woman also makes her decisions logically - yes her emotions are present, but only because often women are also brought up to learn that emotions for women are quite okay. They have done studies of how people treat babies, dressed in pink or blue. Blue-outfitted babies are played with - bounced around more for example, as they are seen as boys (even if it was a girl dressed in blue). Pink-outfitted babies are cooed to more, coddled, sweet/baby talked, expressed to on a more emotional level.

 

Emotion does not have to be absent in order to think logically - there is nothing that prevents someone from using both logic and emotions in decision making.

 

You might want to look up compassion, empathy and compromise in the dictionary though, as they are not "emotions". They are skils, learned either through experience or in relations to other people.

 

I think it is also foolish to label women who are leaders as having "masculine qualities" - it is us that constructed those qualities as "masculine"..there is nothing that truly makes them either masculine of feminine. That's a very immature gender-biased view of the complexity of people.

 

The examples of women you give are all true... but look at MEN! They have played a far more important role as leaders and inventors. This isnt said to oppress women, its the truth! Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Socrates, Napoleon Bonapart, Alexander the Great, Malcolm X, Arnold Shwarzenegger, ect.

 

That is more the fault of what you CHOOSE to look at, and what people write in history, then what actually happens. In history, often women leaders or heroes, were not mentioned in books, women were not even considered "people" for most of that period. When women had no vote, we also had no say in history. There is a lot of controversy that Einsteins WIFE had a lot to do his theories - she was a brilliant scientist who developed many of her own theories, and there is a lot of discussion that she played a role in the theories of Einstein as well. Joan of Arc, Nellie McLung, Mother Theresa, Clara Barton, The Amazon Women, Harriet Tubman, Susan B Anthony, Nefetiti, Cleopatra, Elizabeth I, Catherine the Great, Christina of Sweden....and the list goes on and on. It's "your truth", not the truth that you would see if you broadened your scope and understanding of both social and political history.

 

You say it is society.. in today's world, society tries to SUPRESS masculinity. Dont believe me? A man is not allowed to be male. The message that is given to us from SOCIETY is that men should worship women like godesses, and that women are majestic creatures and men are dumb brutes. Turn on your tv or go to the local movie theater to see this. In almost every movie nowadays, every male hero meets a female, falls for her, confesses his love, and changes his life for her. In most commercials, men are portreyed as dumb, and women are portreyed as smart and are always the ones to figure everything out.

 

I agree there are such potrayals of men. There are also potrayals of women as victims, bimbos and there for men to be used and thrown away also. It all depends on what eyes you are viewing it from. I don't think either potrayal is necessarily fair, but at the same time there are also many potrayals of strong, true people - but you have to look outside of TV sitcoms and commercials and other entertainment to see it. Entertainment is not what we should be looking to to give us true representations of EITHER sex.

 

You cannot say women are extremely strong people. There are both, men and women who are very strong. And many who are very weak.

 

I agree, there are both strong men and women, and those who are not so strong. But I will not say weak. Just because someone is not a leader, does not make them weak, I do not think that a women who chooses to claw her way up the ladder to be a leader in politics is "stronger" then one who makes the choice to stay at home and raise her children. The same holds forth for men.

 

 

I don't think it takes "strength" for either a man or a woman to ask someone out or make the first move, it is influenced by our experiences, our upbringing, what we see around us. There is also a undercurrent at play. Maybe the guy does ask the girl out, but I guarantee the girl often is making "first moves" too to get things going in that direction, they may be more subtle, but there is a reason girls agonize too over if they should call or not, and so on, because many of them are JUST as confused about it all as the men. There are many men who won't make a first move either, and many women who WILL.

 

 

Here is what I don't get...guys complain girls don't make the first move. So either you make a move, or accept maybe its not meant to be between you two? Why complain about it? Someone has to do it, if she doesn't you can, if she does, then maybe you don't need to worry about it? If someone is interested in you, a girl in this case, she will send clues...unless you are also sending her clues in return, why should she be anymore inclined then you to ask her out? If you can't do it, why such a surprise she can't? Honestly, if you two cannot figure out a way to get together, it's not meant to be!

 

Women get rejected too, I have had my share of rejection and it bites. Most women can tell you about the time they got stood up, or passed over for her best friend, heck I even have a guy who told me he could not go out with me since he had a preference for blondes. It happens, and it hurts...but you move on!

 

It's called dating, and growing up, and it all sorts itself out over time

[Caldus]

Just because someone is not a leader, does not make them weak.

 

Very strong point made there in my opinion. Besides, what one person may consider a leader may be a completely different view than someone else. Point is, it's all subjective. I think that's what RayKay was getting at with one of her points made.

[ShySoul]

Don't think I can add much, RayKay has it covered. Good points.

 

Here is what I don't get...guys complain girls don't make the first move. So either you make a move, or accept maybe its not meant to be between you two? Why complain about it? Someone has to do it, if she doesn't you can, if she does, then maybe you don't need to worry about it? If someone is interested in you, a girl in this case, she will send clues...unless you are also sending her clues in return, why should she be anymore inclined then you to ask her out? If you can't do it, why such a surprise she can't? Honestly, if you two cannot figure out a way to get together, it's not meant to be!

 

Good point. Girls are usually in control anyways, its just much more subtle. They do make the first move, its just not as direct. But the point is really, why follow notions of who does what. Why not just go for what you want?

[Santa]

Why does this same topic get discussed every week? Just look at the older topics, saves everyone posting multiple times about exactly the same thing.

 

Bottom line is, girls do approach, and those girls that say its not their role to the approaching are just sexiest and making up lies. For thousands of years girls have been just as forward as boys, you only need to read old pieces of art (such as shakespeare) to know this.

 

If no girl has approached you its because you havn't made the effort to get approached.

 

All this cultural stuff, BS to that, American culture comes from European/African/Asian culture.

[asdf]

For the whole nature/society thing, all I have to say is that with mammals, usually it's the male who is the leader of the pack. With hive insects, it's the female.

 

I think RayKay came up with a list of innovative/leading women, but I think that the list is relatively small compared to the amount of men you could name. Main reason is because the norm for the majority of human history was that women were typically passive/submissive and men were the aggressive ones. I'm not doubting a woman's ability to make leaderlike decisions.

 

I think it just comes down to each different person. I've seen decent female leaders in companies as well as male ones. The argument on whether or not they're the more "masculine" ones is a really circular argument because we're already discussing gender roles here.

 

I mean, how can we say men are natural leaders when there are threads made by guys whining about why girl's aren't more assertive?

[Shinobie]

Well iono dude.Im just saying it would be nice for girls to be more assertive.I just get mad cause every girl treats me like imma loser and i dont know why.Im pretty smart and can achieve what i want.Im also a very outgoing person given the chance too.I know im not good looking my best friend made hints about that.Im just so nice to every girl and whatever but it doesnt seem like it matters.Its like its SO HARD to try find one girl out of any of them that at least thinks im ok looking or beautiful on the inside and looks past that.I mean especially me there is prolly no girl on this planet that thinks that im anything higher then ok looking.You just really got to face it that teenagers and young people, a lot of them at least are practically pretty shallow.Like my friend he is all not that good looking and he tries to go for some pretty good looking girls.And he has never gotten any.Hes a pretty shallow person on the way he thinks.

[Shidoshi]

Bottom line is, if you're having trouble getting girls and you wish they'd approach more, IT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!!! thereforeeee, you need to start APPROACHING THEM. Stop wondering why they don't, that's not going to help you at all. Swallow your pride and ask them out. If you can't even do that, then what makes you think that a girl asking YOU out is going to make it any easier for you in the long run? If you wait for them you may not EVER get an opportunity.

[asdf]

Im just so nice to every girl and whatever but it doesnt seem like it matters.

 

i think that's the problem right there. if you're ever too nice to anybody, they will take you for granted. and if you kiss up to anybody, they will never treat you with respect. stop trying so hard to earn their approval, and give yourself approval. as a general rule, people only tend to respect people who respect themselves. kissing up to people shows a lack of confidence, because is sends the message that you think you can't impress them without being super nice to them.

 

it's nataural for girls to be attracted to traits such as those of an alpha male. it means the guy can protect her, etc. these "confident, dominant" guys don't try to kiss up to girls.

 

i'm not saying you can't compliment a girl, or treat her nicely, but don't do it so much. if she wants something nice from you, she has to earn it just like anybody else who you like but you're not kissing up to. nearly anything feels more valuable when you have to earn it as opposed to getting it for free.

 

now that by itself isn't going to make girls flock to you, but you are going to find it near impossible to attract a decent girl if you always kiss up to them.

 

yes, possibly in an ideal world, girls would be assertive and guys would be too. but the world isn't ideal, it's not made of sunshine and chocolate. you can look at all the unfairness in the world and get sad about it, or you can take advantage of it. it's your choice.

 

if you keep on thinking negatively, all you're doing is limiting yourself.

[Jaela]

Well, i just met a guy i really liked about three weeks ago, and I made the first move. He showed up at a Bar BQ with a blonde girl on his arm, that I assumed was his gf. I still made the move to go up and introduce myself to him, we chatted and I smiled really wide, etc.; gave him very subtle clues that I *might* be into him, or else just overly charming and fascinating Well whatever impression he got, it worked. The blonde disappeared (turned out was only a friend) and he kept moving closer and closer to me throughout the night until we were locked in conversation again. I gave him more flirty signals, and he's finally asked me out. We've seen each other three times now, will again on Thursday, and I think he's great. I'm so glad I got the courage to introduce myself to him even when I thought he was involved. So yes, he made the move to call and ask me out, but I really believe none of that would've happened if I had never approached him, introduced myself and smiled.

[ShySoul]

If you wait for them you may not EVER get an opportunity.

 

Or you could end up with four girls intiating conversations, developing crushes, and even having a chance at something special with one of them. Anything can happen. Key is to seize the moment when it comes along. Girl giving a signal? Then ask her. Girl asks you, then make sure you treat her right and show her a good time.

 

yes, possibly in an ideal world, girls would be assertive and guys would be too. but the world isn't ideal, it's not made of sunshine and chocolate.

 

If the world isn't ideal, then why not strive to make it that way instead of just accepting it as it is? EVERYONE should be assertive, so the whole argument is a waste of time. Stop worrying about who does what, whats happened in the past, what could happen in the future.... and ACT. Live in the now and seize the moment.

 

if she wants something nice from you, she has to earn it just like anybody else who you like but you're not kissing up to. nearly anything feels more valuable when you have to earn it as opposed to getting it for free.

 

No one wants to be made to feel like they have to earn you doing something nice for them. Yes, don't becoming a willing slave who does EVERYTHING for her. But don't take the attidude of her having to earn it. People should just throw out this notion of "kissing up"/earning things, and just start following their heart. You do something nice not because she earns it, not because you want to make her like you... but because it is something you honestly want to do. So if you want to do something nice, do it.

 

Interestingly, I found the opposite problem. The fact that I am SO nice hasn't meant that girls take advantage of it or that it becomes less valuable. It becomes more vaulable to them and they feel like they aren't deserving of something like that.

 

stop trying so hard to earn their approval, and give yourself approval.

 

Don't think he is trying to "kiss up." Shinobie is just a really nice guy who honestly cares about others, believes in treating a women with the utmost respect, and being nice to people. While he does need to show more confidence in himself, I don't think his problem is in being too nice to people... it's in being too hard on himself.

[Leon]

Im just so nice to every girl and whatever but it doesnt seem like it matters.

 

i think that's the problem right there. if you're ever too nice to anybody, they will take you for granted. and if you kiss up to anybody, they will never treat you with respect. stop trying so hard to earn their approval, and give yourself approval. as a general rule, people only tend to respect people who respect themselves. kissing up to people shows a lack of confidence, because is sends the message that you think you can't impress them without being super nice to them.

 

it's nataural for girls to be attracted to traits such as those of an alpha male. it means the guy can protect her, etc. these "confident, dominant" guys don't try to kiss up to girls.

 

i'm not saying you can't compliment a girl, or treat her nicely, but don't do it so much. if she wants something nice from you, she has to earn it just like anybody else who you like but you're not kissing up to. nearly anything feels more valuable when you have to earn it as opposed to getting it for free.

 

now that by itself isn't going to make girls flock to you, but you are going to find it near impossible to attract a decent girl if you always kiss up to them.

 

yes, possibly in an ideal world, girls would be assertive and guys would be too. but the world isn't ideal, it's not made of sunshine and chocolate. you can look at all the unfairness in the world and get sad about it, or you can take advantage of it. it's your choice.

 

if you keep on thinking negatively, all you're doing is limiting yourself.

I don't think anyone has to earn respect, everyone deserves it. I can tell you that a lot of my friends I made during highshcool were by me repecting people who at first didn't respect me. People started wondering why I was so nice to them when they thought they didn't deserve it. They thought I was different. Now I can rarely have a weekend to myself because everyone wants to do something with me. Humans don't always take things for granted. But a lot of people do. I can tell that a lot of people use me for my attitude but I can't help that. No one "earns" the right to be treated like a human, everyone should be naturally. Now these were guys, all the girls I knew did it because they liked me, I didn't like them (like that) so I didn't care. I just find it funny that when trying to make someone seem significant it doesn't work out.

[Shidoshi]

Key is to seize the moment when it comes along. Girl giving a signal? Then ask her.

Precisely! Wow, an actual agreement between us, imagine that.

Quote:

if she wants something nice from you, she has to earn it just like anybody else who you like but you're not kissing up to. nearly anything feels more valuable when you have to earn it as opposed to getting it for free.

 

 

 

No one wants to be made to feel like they have to earn you doing something nice for them. Yes, don't becoming a willing slave who does EVERYTHING for her. But don't take the attidude of her having to earn it.

Some people need to have this attitude because they give "too much." I don't think he means "earn" in a literal sense, rather, the person needs to show some kind of "reciprocation" in order for you to continue giving. This is where a lot of people run into problems with being taken advantage of.

So yes, he made the move to call and ask me out, but I really believe none of that would've happened if I had never approached him, introduced myself and smiled.

You didn't do anything out of the norm, that's what women do, they flirt and then YOU ask them out. That's exactly what happened, he still had to do the asking.

[ShySoul]

Precisely! Wow, an actual agreement between us, imagine that.

 

Hell (also known as Houston ) has frozen over.

 

I've said all along that whoever is interested first should just ask. I mean, why wait and wonder when you can find out for sure?

 

Some people need to have this attitude because they give "too much." I don't think he means "earn" in a literal sense, rather, the person needs to show some kind of "reciprocation" in order for you to continue giving. This is where a lot of people run into problems with being taken advantage of.

 

Well, ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that I am likely to give "too much" because I care so much about others. But if my biggest problem is having too big a heart, I think that's the best problem a person can have. Almost everyone returns my kindness with kindness, its contagious like that. And for the few who haven't, I let them know politely how I feel, give them a chance to make it up. Regardless of what they do, I'm still nice to them because its the right thing to do. I don't go out of my way to do the extra things I do for those who are nice to me, but I'm still nice because its the right thing to do. You should give unselfishly, without expecting anything in return (beyond the same respect and courtesy anyone is entitled too).

 

No one "earns" the right to be treated like a human, everyone should be naturally. Now these were guys, all the girls I knew did it because they liked me, I didn't like them (like that) so I didn't care

 

Your a good man Leon, don't change.

[Leon]

Yeah everyone will eventually return kindness it's just the way humans were made.

[luv4rok]

After reading the messages from this post I can't help but give my opinion (I'm getting back to the initial topic of the post). I am one of the "exceptions" that would ask a guy out. I've recently been having strong feelings for a classmate from school, and because he didn't have the balls to do it, I asked him out on a date one Friday night. He accepted with no hesitation, and we had a great time. I asked him out again for last week, and he agreed. He actually didn't show up to work on that day last week for me, and he does love his job.

 

Although I didn't mind asking him out, I do wonder why he doesn't ask me out for another date. He accepts with no hesitation when I ask, and we had a great time when we went out those two times, BUT he doesn't call. 'Is it because we are taking a class together that he doesn't call' or 'is it because he's just not interested but can't resist to flirt with me' I ask. We've also spoken about relationship topics such as if he is with someone or is seeing anyone, so I know that he isn't with someone else... according to him.

 

To get to my point, my opinion is that some girls are afraid of asking guys out because they don't want to be put in a position where a guy will think of them as desperate or needy. That's the reason why I don't want to call him, because I've asked him out twice, so I don't want to go out on a limb and look desperate by calling him. Yeah I was afraid of getting rejected like everyone else, but I knew that I had to ask him out to see if he was interested. I mean, the worst thing that can happen is him rejecting me. So what, I'll move on.

 

So now that he still hasn't asked me out, I am getting more convinced that he isn't interested in me that way (because he would've at least called or asked me out if he would've) and that he's "playing games" with me as his toy mouse. So if guys don't have the balls to ask a girl out, most likely the girl will think that he isn't interested in her. In my case, I'm just trying to move on. This is my opinion, not a statement. Sorry about the vent. Forget everything I said.

[corvidae]

Women don't ask men out because they don't need to. That's all. Yes, the reason for this is to do with evolution and I could give a very long explanation, but I won't because it doesn't matter. A woman can get by in life not asking men out because she knows that there are plenty of men who will ask her out. A man, on the other hand, who never asks women out will end up permanently alone. FACT.

 

I don't like the way people say that a man doesn't have the 'balls' to ask a woman out. Sometimes it has nothing to do with bravery. Maybe the man has 'self-respect' and doesn't see why he has to chase 100% of the time!

 

Women do NOT make the first move with signals. That is rubbish that women tell themselves to make themselves feel braver than they really are. We (all humans) all give off signals all the time; 80% of communication is non-verbal according to some. A First Move is when you actually take some form of action. I like to use the definition that if you can't be rejected from it then it wasn't a first move.

 

Lastly. I'm afraid the people on this site who say 'that's the way it is' are right. BUT, you don't have to put up with it, as you can live your life without relationships (but with dignity at least). It's your choice.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

For the original poster:

 

YOU are the guy, so you have to take the initiative. Don't wait for girls to take the lead...you need to be more assertive, more aggressive with girls. Don't hurt them, but you really do need to be thier leader.

 

Girls do thier part by being submissive and open to what ever leadership YOU are supposed to show. Thatz the way the world was meant to be:

Guys take the lead, girls are passive.

 

It's your fault that you have never had a girlfriend, so don't blame the girls. YOu just have to learn to be more aggressive, and be more of a leader, when you deal with girls, and in other parts of life also.