You want your ex back? Things to avoid certain doom!

[husk]

ok i will but what kind of time frame how long am i suppose to wiat ? I just sit here wondering which day it will be when she sayes it is finally over. What i dont understand is if you love someone and say you want to be with them and there is a situation where you are worried about a issue such as being with someoen who ahs children how do you not at least try and see if it will work instead of being a coward and walking away?

[womaninmaine]

Just a quick note to say thank you for posting this. I had read elsewhere that No Contact was the way to go in order to start healing, but it helped to hear it again from you.

 

My ex is one of those lovely people who has moved in with his new girlfriend, (whom he cheated on me with for over a year) and yet he doesn't want to let me go.

 

I did NC for 5 days and he flipped out. Frantic calls, emails, cards, letters, unexpectedly stopping by the house. As long as I am in NC, I can tell that I am doing the right thing for myself. The minute I respond (because I feel sorry for him and I miss him) I feel horrible.

 

The NC is definitely for me. I just wish he would stop calling and emailing. Now he's got his new girlfriend emailing me too, telling me how much he loves me! Yikes.

 

(He wants us to share him.)

 

NC is a life saver. You are awesome. Thank you.

[SuperDave71]

Woman,

 

YOu are most welcome....

 

 

Actions speak louder than words.....Don't give him the satisfaction of using you..

 

Cut him off completely!!!!!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Wolven]

Thanks for this.

 

A bit about my story:

 

When we broke up she initially asked for a '3 week break' - I said ok but then a few days later I officially broke it off with her. It was totally the right thing since she said in her mind she saw it the 'same as a breakup' with the catch that we 'may' get back together after that time was done -- however, I'm not one to stay in limbo. Things were even more awkward since some money I lent her in the relationship caused stress and she didn't feel accountable for it.

 

I initiated NC for a good month before I ran into her out on the town -- she was pale as a ghost and nervous (not that I was too comfortable either) -- however, I kept my cool and one of her first comments to me was that I was "stubborn" for not having called/emailed/contacted her in the past month (she wanted me to chase after her - imagine.). She wanted to go dinner, I declined and suggested that maybe coffee was more suitable - and that we'd talk the following week to set up a day - and she would contact me.

 

2 weeks went by NC - no contact from her -- and I run into her out at a club. I suggest to her that perhaps coffee isn't a good idea since we have nothing to really say to one another -- she comes back saying 'but the coffee could lead to 'sex'. She was implying becoming friends with benefits because she hadn't had any since we were together and she didn't see either of us dating anyone new for a while. I didn't bite. Next she upped the ante and said it could 'lead to us getting back together'. Again, I didn't bite. She also said she'd start paying back the $ she owes me.

 

The following day she emails me saying that I was right about not going for coffee. We chat on IM for a bit and she goes on to say the sex comment was a 'joke' and that she 'never mentioned anything about getting back together'. It was sad to think she was attempting to change the prior day's events in order to salvage her ego. However, later she tried to explain the comments as 'missing me as a friend'. Well, I'm not one to transition from lover to friend -- we all know who benefits from that, and it's rarely ever the dumpee.

 

It's one thing if they legitimately want to work on the issues that went wrong in the relationship and are mature enough to go through that process. It's a whole other when they say things to see how quickly you'll come running back.

[adore]

ahh. my ex broke up with me 12 days ago and so far and neither of us have made any attempt to contact the other. i had broken up with him early in march, but he im'd me a few days after that and started emailing me with 'oh, i messed up. you're right, i want to work on this.' i was trying to be distant, but that encouraged him. finally, we spoke on the phone and agreed to give it another shot. for the most part things were good until about a month ago when i realized that i'm not a big priority for him. granted, we're in a long distance relationship and he just started a new job (and is quite stressed about the latter), but he seems so cold all of the time! it finally became too much and i called him on it. he said he loves me but we're incompatible (we are) and that there's a lot of friction between us that bothers him. these words are nothing new, and i suppose i didn't take him very seriously. i'm so confused about my feelings for him. i have an itch to call, but it's not overwhelming. do these things get worse? am i in denial? why am i not freaking out? i'm fairly conflicted on what to do next, but i hate to give in since i've been soooo good thus far. i guess i'm just curious why he isn't calling at all. *sigh* i guess we always desire that which we can't have.

 

help! i need encouragement.

[thouse]

I know all about the NC rule but I have a question. What if I was the one to break off the relationship because I was not getting what I needed from him. He is a family friend so it seems logical to remain friends because we will see each other often. I have been acting like everything is cool and I am not a bit phased by the things that have happened. I find it painful to be around him but we have still been having contact (on the phone). I need to move on because I don't think he will fix what's wrong (though I wish he would) Yesterday he called me several times and I did not answer is it rude to all of a sudden stop contact eventhough I have been acting like I'm cool with it. I do want him to think about what has happened and maybe come to the conclusion that being in the relationshp is what he wants.

[SuperDave71]

thouse,

 

 

You can only worry about you. Alot of times people stick around in limbo just waiting for something to happen. It eventually does, but NOT in your favor. You continue to be you and move forward. Never rely on waiting for someone to change their ways. Always go with WHAT you know rather than what you hope.

 

I wish you the best..

 

 

-SuperDave71

[Bebes]

I would love to have no nc with my ex. But... we have a child and that makes it much harder, because I see him and it HURTS like hell. And the fact that he has made a serious relationship with a stripper is really not helping me.

[kickedin]

what do i do we saw eachother talked for a few...nicely

 

she texted me "nice seeing you and then another saying im glad you are doing well always wanted the best for you

 

i texted her back thanks and the same

 

what do i do i miss her sooo much

 

its her b day sunday

 

i wisher her happy bday last night is it wrong to text her happy bday

[SuperDave71]

kickedin,

 

How are you doing out there?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[kickedin]

kickedin,

 

How are you doing out there?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

 

hey dave.....here ya go

 

 

 

thanks your help is always appreciated

[Aoiumi]

I never thought I'd be visiting this forum, but here I am. 4 months ago I met a fabulous guy on an Internet dating site. I am 26 and had never really been in a relationship before and I had never been intimate. He was the first and only guy that I ever met from the Internet. When I was talking to him I was talking to a few others, but on the third date he said "So can I tell people that I have a girlfriend?" and that was that. I was plesantly surprised when I first met him---he was actually cute and easy to talk to. He seemed like a really nice guy. I guess we did all the things people do in new relationships. We always said "I can't wait to see you" and "I miss you." Over the 3 months we were together I started noticing strange things about him and our relationship, but I pushed them out of my mind, saying they were not deal-breakers. For example, he always wanted to call me at the same time at night (7PM) and he would always tell me what day he was going to call. I understood because of his work schedule. He would tell me I could call on a day in between, but I rarely did because I didn't feel like he wanted me to. If I did call, he wouldn't call me the next day, like there was a limit to how much we could talk. Our conversations weren't the longest or most interesting but just talking should be enought, right, even if it is just for a few minutes?

 

I spent one day out of the week with him and one day on the weekend. In the beginning he seemed more excited about us spending time together but in the end, it seemed like a chore to him. He felt like he had to plan out some activity each time we hung out, but I was happy just being with him. After a while, he seemed too tired to do much, which came off as an excuse to me. The weekend before last he was too tired to see me, but not too tired to help his sister moved. I had a feeling something wasn't right and I made myself very sick (I've lost 10 lbs). I thought, what if he doesn't call me again? What if he's trying to get out? He did call me and I felt so relieved. But the next weekend he called and said he was breaking up with me and that he's not ready to be in a relationship, but that I'm great and beautiful...it's not you it's me.

 

I know those are the oldest lines in the book. I was crushed, speaking unintelligibly on the phone. He did not say much. I told him I was falling in love with him but it didn't mean anything now. He was quiet. I think he said he didn't know what to say that that he was so sorry. I told him I didn't know what to say so I would say goodbye and I hung up.

 

In the end, I feel I didn't deserve to be treated this way. I was so good to him. I accepted him for the person he is, and didn't make fun of him or criticize him. I let him know all the time that I appreciated him. When I gave him compliments he dismissed them. He treated me so well and seemed to be enjoying himself but now I guess it was all an act. He never told me he loved me. In the beginning he talked about me meeting his mother, brother and some of his firiends...about us taking a trip somewhere, but after a while he stopped saying those things. I did meet his sister in the beginning and his coworkers. One day, he didn't give me passionate kisses anymore, wasn't interested in being intimate and seemed in a hurry for me to leave his apartment or didn't want me to come over at all. He didn't seem to enjoy dinner anymore or shopping.

 

I'm left wondering if I did something wrong. He was my first and I'm crushed. It has been 5 days and I feel no better. I want to get revenge on this man for waisting 4 months of my life. I want revenge on him because he was acting like something he wasn't and I got hurt in the process. I don't know what he got out of the whole relationship. I don't know why he did this. So he could tell all of his friends with significant others that he had someone too? So he could feel like he belonged? I guess he is happier sitting on his couch on Friday nights (and every other night), falling asleep watching ESPN.

 

I don't understand how this man I loved could do this to me. Okay, I can understand losing interest in someone, but he didn't have the decency to tell me in person--he did so over the phone. He didn't think enought of me. All of our jokes, the things we laughed about were a lie. When he told me he would not get tired of me that was a lie. He wanted me in his life in the beginning and he pushed me out in the end. It just isn't fair.

 

Work is hard--I can't focus. I cry all the time. My family is worried about me. I have no motivation to keep going and can see nothing positive in my life. He took part of my innocence. Love is what I want more than anything in the world--it remained elusive for 26 years, and when I thought I finally had it, that it was finally my turn, I found out it was all a farce.

 

Obviously I can't contact him. This was not am amicable break-up. Maybe something about me repulsed him. I can't believe he couldn't give me a better reason. I loved him for who he was and didn't try to make him something that he wasn't--I'm kind of conservative so maybe he censored himself for me. I am grasping at straws. How do I deal with this? How do I go on? He has hurt me more deeply than anything else in my life and I don't see how I can ever love anyone else again or trust anyone else.

 

How do I get over this? I have no passions in my life to throw myself into. I don't have many close friends, or friends period. I hate myself because I keep checking my phone and e-mail hoping he'll say he made a mistake and that he couldn't let a good girl like me go. I hate myself for wanting to contact him. It is taking every bit of my strength not to get revenge, not to go crazy...

[ellestar]

I have a been a lurker here for a good few months now and I am happy to say I've followed most, if not all the advice (SuperDave) proposed here after being dumped nearly 3 months ago. Because we lived together when he split up with me, I began LC. I eventually could move out at the beginning of Sept. I have seen him (we live in same neighborhood, work at same company), but not talked to him since the end of August.

 

What he told me when ending it: "it was a gut feeling that something was not right and I stopped having any feelings for you" What he told his friends "she was pressuring me to get married and settle down and I'm not yet even 30. There is still so much I want to do with my life."

 

In mid August I met someone. We've been on a few dates since then and he is well aware of my emotional situation. Hell, he even helped me move out. I'm not using the new guy for the "jealously" factor, we met through mutual friends, are also both new to the area and are having fun going out, getting to know the area (hikes and stuff) and just hanging out. But of course I do like the guy and am attracted to him otherwise I wouldn't keep spending time with him. But mutual friends of my ex and I know I've met someone new. One good friend asked if she should let this info slip and I said "there is nothing to hide" Nothing to report cause emotionally, I am not ready for a new relationship". But I know eventually it will get back to him.

 

So, my question is, will this ruin my chances of getting back together with my ex if he gets wind that I am "seeing" someone new?

[SuperDave71]

hello ellestar,

 

 

Would you want your relationship back based on jealousy? I certainly hope not. You do what makes YOU happy. No matter what be honest with your new date and MOST of all be honest with yourself.

 

 

"Love if patient, love is kind,...loveis not jealous or boastful.."

 

 

 

Your Friend,

 

SuperDave71

[brokedownpalace]

I agree whole heartedly with superdave. Check your emotions and see you want your ex back. Out of love ? or jealousy ?

[pinkbunnie]

Heres my story:

 

Bf and i were toghther for 2 yrs on and off. We broke up first in november of last year and started to go out again feb this year and broke up again july of this year. I broke it up becaus it didnt feel the same anymore. I felt as if he didnt reallyl care as much as he did when we were first going out. I felt left out. he never makes time to call me. he never tells me about how he is doing or feeling. he is never open-minded he is always closed. i mean come on he can at least take 1 min of his time and call me just to say hi or how im doing? i mean is that hard to ask? but no he makes time to call his ex more than me which pisses me off even more.

 

I know he had a busy schedule wtih his school and all but theres no excuses . anyways, i do miss him a lot and i do love him n care for him but i feel as if we went bac toghter i think it would be same thing all over again.

 

i havent begged him to take me back or act clingy to him. Only time i acted werid was when i found out he took a girl to his gradiation party and that shatttered me of course because i still have feelings for him and for that to happen i been feelin depressed all over again. to add more, i even found out who she is and etc. anyways long story short. ive been going on NC for a week and one day now..i know its still short but im making progress.

 

Even last night i saw him online n we both didn say anything to each other...it made me feel sad of course but i just went on what i need to do

[SuperDave71]

pinkbunnie,

 

What have you guys done to solve any issues you guys may have been having at the time?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[pinkbunnie]

Hey superdave,

 

I dont think we ever got to the point of actually solving any issues. IT was all avoided at the time...guess thats why it didnt work out the 2nd time around. I'm a person who likes to try to solve problems or issues. I would do anything. Sit with them and try to make them understand....BUT if the other person isnt willing to...it just wont work out. I dont know why my ex didnt want to try to solve issues or problems. Maybe he was just not that into me..I really don't know. I KNOW for sure i won't talk to him for a long time..seem like everytime i do..I end up sad,angry or confused.. So i'm just going to disappear from his life for now.. I guess there isnt anything i can do now to fix things. ALL i want from him was to listen to me and try to work things out..ALL i want from him is to show me that he really do love and care for...EVEN little things IM not asking him to shower me with expensive gifts or what not...JUST to show a little at least..HE did first time we were going out...SECOND time,, it was just different.

[Reddy]

dave i love all of your advice. thank you so much. only one question...

 

i have a situation where i see the ex more often than i'd like because we work together in very close proximity... i want to go complete NC but i CANT because i see her a lot. SHE wants to stay friends and though i'd love that too in the long run i just can't handle it right now. but she's "ready" for it now and tries to interact with me etc. My hours are somewhat flexible so I'm gonna see if i can change them to make our interaction less but other than that any advice??

 

thanks...

[S agapo]

Everything u have written here points the truth. I wish I came accross this in the first place instead of trying a milion times to contact the ex when he wanted space. I pushed him furtther away with my need for answers that he didn't want to give.

Everything is too late, I have runied my chances. Its been 6 hurtful months.

[rapunzel]

dave i love all of your advice. thank you so much. only one question...

 

i have a situation where i see the ex more often than i'd like because we work together in very close proximity... i want to go complete NC but i CANT because i see her a lot. SHE wants to stay friends and though i'd love that too in the long run i just can't handle it right now. but she's "ready" for it now and tries to interact with me etc. My hours are somewhat flexible so I'm gonna see if i can change them to make our interaction less but other than that any advice??

 

thanks...

 

I am also interested in replies to this situation as it is quite similar to mine.

 

My ex broke up with me about 5 weeks ago. I have made NO attempts to contact him, I did pick up the phone once as I felt I should hear what he had to say as we do work together about once a week, sometimes twice (in a musical situation). So I've been VERY good about No Contact but the fact that I have to see him weekly seems to set me back in my healing. I feel like I'm getting stronger each day, and then I see him and BOOM, the floodgates open. He has also expressed a desire for friendship but it's way too soon for that and I did tell him that "one can't force these things (being "friends"). He agreed and asked me if I'd be up for "grabbing a drink, to sit down and have a chat" as he "really wants to retain me as a friend". Well, I'm still in love with him so there's no way I'm ready to be friends. Despite that, I did somewhat halfheartedly say OK to the drink but that was two weeks ago, and guess what....he never followed up. I've seen him twice since then and not a word.

 

We don't sit in close promixity at rehearsal and I do my very best to act "as if", friendly, normal, my usual self (the others don't know about us). We talk very little, I try to avoid looking at him too much but it is a challenge. He has complimented me a couple of times on my playing and singing.

 

I do not want to quit this band as it is a really great and special project with wonderful people/musicians but I worry that it's going to take much longer to move past this with the weekly contact.

 

Any thoughts/advice?

[ellestar]

...So I've been VERY good about No Contact but the fact that I have to see him weekly seems to set me back in my healing...

 

you will heal. yes, it will take longer than if you did not see or hear from him, but it will happen, slowly, but surely.

 

it was nearly 2 months after my ex broke up with me before i could move out. i realized now, the healing process did begin, but it really got into full swing after i moved out. but in that time i spent so much time analyzing this & that, that it was struggle not to go in the next room and confront him (i did twice, but i do not regret it - he needed to see me in pain at least once after the break-up). although it's been 3 months since he broke it off, i feel like i really have only had one month of healing. i talked to him today for the first time since August 28th.

 

while living together, i tried as much low contact as possible, but that was nearly impossible. also, we work at the same place, so i would run into him on the train or on the bus or at the cafeteria. so what i did was try to avoid him whenever and where ever i could. i go to one of the other cafeterias (even now, where i feel good), i get in the bus one stop before the "usual" stop and sit in the front cause i know he always gets in the back. i do whatever i can to avoid him, but if i see him, i do not ignore him. i will flash a quick smile or head nod, then turn away. while getting on the train, i used to purposely look to the floor and not look around. i still do some of these things, but it gets better.

 

since you see your ex weekly, mentally prepare yourself. tell yourself it will be okay before you see him. take extra time to get to rehearsal, add an extra walk around the block. syke (sp?) yourself up. healing might take longer, but you will heal. i cannot believe i am saying this - 10 weeks ago i was dying. today i feel good.

[rapunzel]

Thanks Ellestar -

 

Thanks for sharing your story. At this point I can't imagine it's going to get much better for me but I know time will help. This month we are going to see a LOT of each other due to the band schedule and other gigs. I'm trying to act nonchalant, friendly in a distant way and I think I'm succeeding for the most part. I also try not to look at him. I did notice him stealing a few glances at me the other night. I still have a glimmer of hope that he will want me back but each day I tell myself I have to heal for myself and not cling to that hope.

 

I am also trying to get out of the self-blame game. This is probably the biggest cause of my pain...that I blame myself for the demise of the relationship. I blame myself that I didn't let things move slowly enough so that he could actually fall in love with me. There was huge mutual attraction and lust in the beginning and while we did know each other for a few months before we acted on it, and actually I guess about a month went by before anything other than kissing happened. I just feel that I didn't pay attention as I had JUST come out of a 4.5 year relationship when I started up things with this guy. I was really over my last boyfriend about a year before I ended it, yes I was the dumper...and then lo and behold, I got dumped.

 

I didn't consider the new guy a rebound as I was emotionally out of my 4.5 year rel'ship for quite some time. I did feel some dumper guilt as I felt badly for the pain I caused the old guy, but I was so excited about new guy that it quickly faded.

 

But I must remember that new guy chose to dump me without any discussion. The main reason was he felt "uncomfortable" and "something was missing". To me that means he just never fell in love with me, or if he had, he fell out of love with me. I think I had a golden opportunity to let him slowly fall in love with me and I blew it by letting him see my cards too soon. I never used the "L" word but I think he knew the power he had over me and it just made him lose interest. I dropped some stupid things about future that were just not the right things to say at those moments. I did not hold back physically and I may have felt him feel pressured in bed. I forgot how to date after 4.5 years with someone and I think I scared him off.

 

So live and learn, but a very painful lesson. I'm 46 and while still attractive (although the thought of 50 looming around the corner is rough), I just feel that I blew something that held great promise. I know that it takes two to tango but how do I stop blaming myself and overanalyzing every little thing that I said or did? No, I'm not perfect and neither is he.

 

I know, self-love. I'm doing all the things that SuperDave suggests and I think I'm doing well in that regard but I still cry daily and it's been almost 6 weeks since the break up.

 

Thanks for reading my story, it is cathartic to get it out.

[lostindesert]

hi all

just a short story of mine here it goes 1st im a turkish guy, imet my wife in marmaris..and there was her,mum and this lad anyway last day of their holiday my ex`s mum came up to me and said my doughter likes you gave me a tlf+adress n hols finish and they went back to england so we texted eachother although i didnt know much english anyway months goes by i got my english better and iasked her who was that lad with you on holiday she said he was just friend so i thought yeah he could be your friend no problem so year later she comes to visit me for 3 months also get to know eachother you know but there was a BIG problem which was her mum didnt want me to be with her daughter so after my ex come to visit me she had really really great love for me after few days her mum came over to take her daughter she have coused too much problems we had great arguments n stuff but we won the battle so she went back to eng and we had hard times finding job etc actually we didnt have much to eat coz we couldnt find a job,well i would have but she didnt want me to work in bars,disco...coz she was scared of loosing me 3 monts later i said you gonna have to go coz itsnt working out so she went to england worked really hard and year later come to turkey we got married and but her mum still causing problems anyway i got my visa and i left all my family and friends and went to england with her just to be with her you know so i come england we was really happy i just cant tell how hapy we was to be together anyway soon i found out that the lad was on holiday with them bhought house with my wife we i asked whats going on bla bla she said nothing i dint buy an house with him it was just a friend who me mum knows i had ?? marks in my head but i beried it just carried on also when we was BF /GF with my ex i asked her if she had BFs or had sex wid anyone she said no no nothing at all i said cool anyway like every marriage we had problems good times bad times 4 years later she wanted a baby i wasnt ready but i said ok lets do it make a family she got pregnet we had our lil baby girl last year 2006 and i know somethings we `ve argued about it was stupid but we argued about names and etc etc coz like as we are brought up in diffrent ways n religon!the cultures,religon was clashing anyway we baby born we was happy and as time gone by i was getting more responsableties with baby and making a nice family but it didnt work i tryed my best to make a nice family but didnt work(oh didnt i mentioned this> her mum was always at our house we wouldnt have anytime together most of the time we argued is coz of her mum even though im married with her daughter she didnt stop spiliting us up for a start it wasnt healthly marriage coz her mum involed was with us always i said keep away but went back to what it was coz my ex and her mum really close anyway one day(4months ago)we had an argument with my ex and she said call it a day so i though it just another raw it`ll be ok but it didnt i tried to make frend with her but no no she said she doesnt want to be with me,im not happy,i dont love you anymore,we dont match ect ect them things really hurt me i didnt know what to do i my plans with her al went down drain she wanted me to move out but again 2 weeks i tried to make it work it didnt so i moved out i thought if i move out n give her space she might think and calls me back like most of us do i begged......cant live without you got this baby itsnt right we can make it work she was having non of it so even i wasnt living with her about a mont i beged and tried every single thing that i thought make it work in the and i gave up also after imoved out there was this lad i seen him with her she said its only a friend that he use to go same school, ithought ok it can be a friend.then she said she was going for a weekendbreak with her mum n baby ok no problem but soon i find out he went with her as well when i went to my ex`s house i found also seen few pictures on table he was there with her and also seen he was lying in our house on the couch t-shirt on but u can see the stomach anyway after 2 months later i heard she had BF`s before she met me etc but all this time she lied to me that she didnt i told her why did you lie she still didnt give me any answers but said its got nothing to do with you what i done in the past if its, it was be4 i met you!which isnt right you should have told me the truht n be honest with me it may have nothing to do with me but ofcourse i`d wanna know who im marrying,it has really hurt me that she lied also finished the marriege i dont know for what reason but i still wonder why she finished it she didnt give me clear answer but just made me wonder put all the blames on me made me feel guilty even though i took i the blames and said i changed,i was like a lost popy ididnt know what to to but im better than what i was before now!i dont go to her house anymore but its clear that she left me for something i still dont know what maybe its this lad she maybe left me for him you cant say %100 maybe he was the 1 of the reason or the reason....she said she was gonna divorce me but it has been 4 months still didnt hear from her lawyer also i need advice on getting divorce like we had our own house which she bhought 1 year before she met me (mortgage)its on her name but we been paying it together if we divorce will i get the half or whatever %?but also i think end of this marriage her mums play big role.you see its diffrent in england woman gets everything she gets child benefit,child tax credit,etc get everythig free from government like she didnt needed me for the bills coz she gets enough from government and work part time this may be the 1 of the reason but i have nothing left i lef moved out on my baby`s first birthday just my clothes thats it,i cant do anything i want to go to where my uncles lives but i cant leave my baby shes only 1 year n 4 months old i want her to know that im her dad n wanna do things with her see her etc shes my blood i love her.ok its a good advice everyone says that dont contact her just move on all good advice but hard to do for some of us i mean if you got a kid you have to have a contact even if you try to show them youre happy but when you see them you just cant help the way you feel and talk like you still sad instead of happy.(whats NC?)i didnt write everything on here coz of my english +cant write it anyway its long story but if you have any questions or didnt understand just ask i`ll explain.even if it has been 4 months and after everything she done to me and lied etc etc part of me still says i want her you know,she said she didnt love me also the day she said it we didnt have sex she wouldnt anyway would kiss me wouldnt hug me etc she was just cold even when i tell my emotions to her she wouldnt talk she was like yeah mmm,no words just mmm yeah i know but NO.she also been funny with me with baby dont let me see her sometimes doesnt tell me whats baby doing how is she etc everytime she bring baby for me to have her for few hours she always comes with her cousin or mum,when i give baby back she doesnt say a word i say is everythin ok is there anything that i sould know about baby she says no everything ok im going now doesnt have a minute to talk to me anyway i gave over i dont phone or txt her only sometimes just reguarding about baby thats it,like you all say if u love some1 let them go if its love it`ll come back to you but sometimes its too late for you to accept them i cant accept her now but part of me says yeah ok i would maybe most of it for baby and love.any questions please ask ,i still hurt and thoose who hurt hang in there also if anyone newly sapareted or going to...!send me a e-mail i got a ebook that might help i`ll send it to you (Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.

Co-Author of "Keep Your Marriage)google it if its anygood for you then ill send it .thank you for taking your time and reading it,god be with you belss you all.

thanx

[ellestar]

i won't even begin to read your post. way too difficult. next time, put in some paragraph breaks, pleeeeaasssee!