From "goth" to "normal"

[xmrth]

I'm a little bit nervous about what my next semester at college will be like... My 'question' comes after this description.

I've been there for several semesters already and am known as the "most goth girl on campus/most goth girl so-and-so knows." And although "goth" is a stereotype, understand I'm simply using it to describe so you can all be like "ooh I know what she means."

Anyways, I would always wear (in late middle school/early highschool up until now) nothing but elegant dresses, lace, big boots, extremely elaborate clothing, and it was all NOTHING but black, and I almost never wore the same outfit twice. I loved to get all dressed up all of the time, which was why I would wear these things to school. It was very me, and very me throughout late middle school/early highschool. I admit, I felt beautiful, people would stop me on the streets and compliment me, and surprisingly mothers would bring their children up to me to look at me closer because I definitely keep a warm smile on my face-- I am NO, and was NO troubled teenager with the baggy black pants and ugly chains all over the place like you may see in the malls!

 

But now I find myself wearing blue jeans, normal hair, normal eyeshadow, nice presentable clothing... and all this changed over the course of the beginning of the summer vacation-- only TWO months ago. Talk about a 180. And I'm VERY happy with myself-- I feel very happy. You'd be surprised how the colors you wear have an effect on you. My boyfriend loves it as well as he himself is not "goth" at all. He is more on the laid back preppy side (laid back as in, preppy but not all those designer clothes) Other things are possible new and much more friendly friends, JOB oppertunities as not everyone thinks it's attractive! No negative comments as I did get my fair share of some of those when out even though I got many more positive ones. I could go on and on with a list of ways this has positively changed my life in such a short period of time, but I just found myself having to go into too much detail, so I'll leave it at that.

 

Anyways, my concern is that I don't know how the people at my college will react. I go to a really small college so everyone pretty much knows everyone else... and I myself am known by everyone. I know there's alot of people who will probably think negatively towards me, and I don't want that. I don't know what to say when approached about it, either. I want to say I've grown up! But there's other people who dress alternatively there and I don't want that to be directed at them at all. I feel naked around people who I have been in contact with since this change and I feel like.... just very naked. I've gotten comments about "wow you're wearing color!" and it hurts because it's like they're disecting me... I just want to be left alone and wear what I want. I almost feel like I can't shrug anyone off. Because I KNOW I will get negative comments. It's important to me that I am on good terms with everyone there because that is the only college I can go to. That is why this concerns me.

 

Anyone else ever go through this? I just want to avoid all negativity. I just know people will look at me funny. You'd think they'd look at me funny before! I'm starting to get nervous. I just don't want to have to deal with people.

[TheUnbornDevil]

i think goth can be a little sexy. dont worry about it, work it!!!!!!!

[xmrth]

haha. I "worked it" for so many years now. I have been long overdue for this change, I just wish I did earlier... maybe even years earlier. It is so positive on my life.

[arwen]

Hey xmrth!

 

I think you might be surprised-- if you look as confident as you sound, you might just get positive response. Are you scared people will immediately make a connection between your change of style and you being with your boyfriend?

 

I think a change is refreshing once in a while. I used to wear mostly dark colours as well, and this summer I really went crazy on pink *me??? PINK?* and green and colours DO change the way you feel!

 

If people ask, you can graciously say that you needed a change of style. Basta!

 

Ilse.

[TheUnbornDevil]

well do what ever makes you happy.

[Jetta]

Really I don't think they'll make a big deal out about it. College is about changing who you are, and in some ways the way you present yourself.

[xmrth]

I know college can definitely be about changing who you are. I know of alot of people who have changed FOR college, but I'm changing in the MIDDLE of college as I've always been this way over so many years. I really do look like an entirely different person.

[Cynder]

Don't worry about it... I have been Gothy for years. I believe I was this way all my life, my mom even says so. I didn't start dressing the part until I was about 14. I don't think I'll ever change. But if I ever did I wouldn't stress over it.

 

Like when I am at work. I wear black jeans, black T (usually a band T), my Killspikes (gotta have em') and black work boots. But out of work it's a whole different story. People I work with have seen me outside of work and can't believe what they see.

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Not my best pic, but you get the idea, lol[/img]

[shes2smart]

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Not my best pic, but you get the idea, lol[/img]

 

OMG! I have that exact same corset in royal purple!

 

Ren Faire in Harveysburg, OH?

[HajiMaji]

Ill tell you this. Ive changed my appearance a few times as an adult. At first, my buddies were surprised and didnt know what to think. Then they got use to it and it was funny. They never said it, but i could tell that they were impressed by the fact i could change and still be so much the same. Some of my friends have worn the same shirts and hats for years. They would feel akward to take them off.

 

So, you go do your thing. Youll look and feel great regardless. No one will think anything negative abou ya.

[c00kie]

well afew pple might give u a hard time but most shuld b ok with it, sometimes its more of a shock to see how much youve changed.

quick question to you goths...whats with wearing the spikes and dog collars n stuff? just curious so no need to get defensive

[Cynder]

 

OMG! I have that exact same corset in royal purple!

 

Ren Faire in Harveysburg, OH?

 

Close, Ren-Faire in Geneva OH. I love my corsets!!! Nothing like being tight-laced.

[Cynder]

well afew pple might give u a hard time but most shuld b ok with it, sometimes its more of a shock to see how much youve changed.

quick question to you goths...whats with wearing the spikes and dog collars n stuff? just curious so no need to get defensive

 

I hardly ever get defensive. I guess I just like the look of them. I have four different ones for my wrist (don't wear them all at once though). I also have some for my neck too. They don't have spikes though, they are all ringed bondage collars.

 

Interesting tidbit:

 

If you get into a fight with killspikes on your wrist you can be charged with assault with a deadly weapon, even if you don't use them as a weapon. I think that's pretty dumb. My boots could kill someone easier then my spikes, lol.

[annie24]

Cynder - you are one hot mama!

[caasiopia68]

i totally dont like goths at all...

[jurupa]

xmrth - Don't worry about it. You made change in your clothes that fit you, not to your social environment. People will see that your clothes go with the "new" you. I wear the most plain clothes you could ever get. But once people get to know me some they see that it goes with who I am. You may get some negative comments, but it could be that you where able to change your self and the other person has not and is pretending to be someone they are not.

[c00kie]

If you get into a fight with killspikes on your wrist you can be charged with assault with a deadly weapon, even if you don't use them as a weapon. I think that's pretty dumb. My boots could kill someone easier then my spikes, lol.

 

lol my thumbs could easily kill someone as well mmm but wouldnt those spikes get annoying? especially if you were wearing outrageously long sharp ones and bumped into someone...america right? lawsuit? but that corset thingy does look bloody nice on you.

[Cynder]

My spikes aren't that long, they aren't that sharp either. It's more for the look then anything.

 

I hope no one thinks I get into a lot of fights. I've actually never been in one as an adult.

 

Glad you like my corset. 8)

[victoria 88]

Im happy to hear that you are enjoying your new style. A drastic change in how you dress can really shock people. When people see your new look, a few will have "nice" things to say that dont come accross that nice. Hopefully the people around you will have a more positive attitude. A big part of how people react to a persons style has to do with how they wear it. If you are walking confidently and look like you are happy with your style, the response you get will [hopefully] be better. There are going to be some people who are going to be weird, but remember that at the end of the day, you dont have to live with them. Make sure that you are happy. At some point you will feel comfy in your new style.

[Cynder]

Ok, I just had to post this here because someone was asking if my killspikes ever get in the way and about lawsuits and all that. When I saw this pic I thought imediately of this thread...

 

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My oh my, those are the biggest spikes I've ever seen. I bet they get in his way, lol...

[xmrth]

I admit that I'm getting a little nervous... I just don't want people to be mean to me and be like "ohh she's selling out" or "maybe she was never like that"

Not caring what people think is one thing, but I don't want to have people who don't like me or say things about me.

I'm not sure what to say when I'm asked why the sudden change. I'm literally going to be wearing bluejeans, strappy heels, and a nice top until it gets cold out, and that's ONE-EIGHTY right there. I already explained what I used to wear in the original post.

 

It's stupid to care, but I think I really do. I mean, I have to go to school with these people for another 2.5 years so I don't want people to think less of me. I feel stupid writing this-- REALLY stupid, but this is how I feel. I'm hoping maybe someone knows what I'm feeling.

I really feel stupid but I am nervous... I just don't know what reaction I'll get. It's such a small college, and like I said, everyone knows me.

 

I am kind of excited to go back... but mostly nervous because I just want to be left alone! haha

[mtastic]

xmrth,

 

I think whenever you make a change in appearance there will always be people who have strong reactions at first, thats just the way people are, they get used to things being a certain way and then freak out when they change. For instance, i'm not the most conscientious person about getting my haircut, so it tends to go in cycles of getting fairly long, then my getting it cut really short. Thus, when I do get haircuts everyone flips out for a couple day, going "whoa what happened!" and things like that. Eventually they get used to it and the comments stop. As long as you're happy with the way you look, and it sounds like you are, everyone else will fall into place eventually. Just remember, its not about being the same or different, just about being yourself.

 

To address another topic:

 

Cynder - you are one hot mama!

 

I totally agree

 

mtastic

[Cynder]

Some people are going to say things no matter what you wear, sadly that is just human nature. People talk, and they don't always talk nice. Follow your bliss, and if your bliss is changing how you dress, then so be it.

 

Mtastic, thanks for your compliment.

[mtastic]

Follow your bliss? Are you by chance a reader of Joseph Campbell?

[Cynder]

Follow your bliss? Are you by chance a reader of Joseph Campbell?

 

Actually no I'm not, but I know who he is because I've always been into Mythology.

 

A professor told me to follow my bliss once and the words just stuck. Ironically it was a Mythology professor.