My ex broke NC and I hope I said the right thing....help!

[pattysky]

My ex broke up with me in an email a few months ago right before my dad passed away. (you can read my earlier posts) I called him after my dad died to let him know, and he wrote me a simple but kind email stating that he was very sorry and he would always be my friend, and that after hearing my voicemail, he needed to go out and have a few drinks. He also asked me to send him a book I had that belonged to his dad.

To make a long story short, I called him again and thanked him for the email and reminded him that I had other things of his and told him to call me and let me know what he wanted back and I would bring it over. I never heard from him and then a week later, the email king writes me a short cold email, asking me to leave his book in front of his door and he would leave my stuff in a bag! (now I thought he wanted to be friends?)

 

 

 

 

So I wrote him this:

Sure, no problem. I felt funny about going to your house last week because you never returned my calls about what you wanted back, and it doesn't really seem like you want to hear my voice or see me.

I thought you still wanted to be friends, but I guess you don't. I'm sure you have a new girlfriend and you're very happy, but I figured we could at least get a coffee and talk as friends. I can't tell you how hard the past few months have been for me. It was like two people died in my life, my dad, and you. I hope that you are much happier without me because then all this pain I went through is worth it. I know now how miserable you were with me since you were able to just dump me via email after two years and never even miss me or talk to me again.I feel like you are angry with me still, and I want you to know that I'm not angry anymore. I'm a survivor and I made it through the hurricane. I go to therapy once a week and she put me on on 5htp Tryptophan for my lunatic period days and it's amazing! If you don't want to be friends, it's not a problem, just don't say you want to when you really want nothing to do with me. My friendship is a valuable thing and if you don't want it, it 's your loss.

 

I might be crazy but, I'm not such a bad person and I loved you so much, with all my heart. I miss my dad so much and I miss talking to you. I just wanted to be part of eachother's lives even as friends because you meant that much to me, and I figured we could help eachother throughout our lives. I don't want anything back, keep it all. I also don't want your video camera or your stereo, so I guess I will have to wait for one of your famous emails to let me know if you want these things.

 

OK GUYS

[Blue Skittles]

Did you already send it to him? If you didn't, then don't do it! Not that is terrible or anything, but I'd personally keep the video camera and the stereo. for all your troubles and all. But not only that, by telling him you want to return more of his stuff you are inviting more contact which will only cause more pain.

 

Nah, I'd play his game and just write him short brief emails for anything that involves dropping off/getting stuff and keep it really short and to the point and above all try not to have any contact with him. He hurt you and he does not deserve your time.

[Hope75]

I don't understand why you had to tell him that you are on medication for 'your lunatic periods'?

 

And, probably shouldn't have said anything like "I'm sure you have a new girlfriend and are very happy." That just seems snide and like you are trying to get at him and hurt him the way that he hurt you.

 

I'm very sorry about your dad, and then to suffer a breakup as well, it must be a very tough time for you but try not to waste anymore energy on someone who obviously doesn't care enough to be consistant in your life.

 

You deserve more.

[pattysky]

Yes....I already sent it, but I needed to get that off my chest. As for the therapy thing, we used to fight a lot right before my period and I finally decided to get treament because I have awful pms! I wasn't an angel, but I did love him. I just wanted to let him know that I was feeling better because he used my pms as an excuse to break up in addition to other things.

I don't care if he doesn't respond because I said my peace. I just want to heal now. He can't seem to talk to me or face me, and I'm wondering if any of you know why???? He broke up with me, so why would he have a problem facing me?

[btbt]

If you sent him an e-mail to get that stuff off your chest, that's fine. Just don't wait for a response. It seems pretty cold that he would break up with you over e-mail, esp. when he knew all the stuff that was happening with your dad. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I think you should concentrate on mourning his death and spending time with friends and family that will support you through this time. It stinks that the people we hope will be there in our hardes times are not. But that is when we learn (the hard way) who are the people who are willing to give love. I think what you said was just fine. You said what you had to say and now you can move on. Best wishes.

[Hope75]

I don't care if he doesn't respond because I said my peace. I just want to heal now. He can't seem to talk to me or face me, and I'm wondering if any of you know why???? He broke up with me, so why would he have a problem facing me?

 

If you just want to heal now, try to let this go and move on. You may never understand why he doesn't want to face you. It could be as simple as, the relationship is over, that chapter in his life is over, and he doesn't want to see you anymore, in any way.

 

Regardless, this is about your healing now. What he does is irrelevant to your life and recovery at this point.

 

Try to remember it's YOU that you are worrying about now, not him.

 

Best of luck.