Has anyone kept their pregnancy a secret

[emma16]

My friend is leaning toward keeping the baby however, her parents would be upset if they found out beucause she is in college and things like that.

 

A friend in high school hid her pregnancy from all of use and her parents until the day the baby was born.

 

Do you know of anyone that has done that and how did they keep from showing alot?

 

Is it wrong to do this?

[DN]

Yes it can be done if she wears loose fitting clothes and leads people on to thinking she is putting on weight.

 

And it is wrong and counter-productive.

[wierdo]

your friend should definitely tell her family. hiding the baby from public is okay if she is planning to adopt it out, but right now she needs the support of her family, especially if the father is not around..

 

being pregnant can be very lonely, and no one should do it alone. and no matter how sneaky she thinks she's being, people can tell.. pregnant chicks act weird anyway. and it's hard to explain to your family why things make you cry/ vomit/ go into a rage when it's never happened before..

 

hope she's okay

[BellaDonna]

I think she should tell her family. You can only hide such a thing for so long. The sooner she tells them, the more time they have to accept the idea and they will be more supportive once the baby arrives. No matter how upset they get, I can't imagine them holding anger toward her or their grandchild, once the baby is born. They'd have to be made of stone if they did not love the baby once she/he is born.

 

Hiding it might also cause her to feel ashamed and resentful about the pregnancy.

 

There are worse things that can happen. She is in college- so at least she's an adult. There are plenty of parents who have children and go to night school. Do you think the baby's father will be there for her? That's going to make a huge difference in the types of support she has.

 

If she does decide to hide it from her parents (which I hope she doesn't)- be sure that she still gets proper prenatal care. I would worry that she would hide it from them, and as part of it, neglect her own health.

 

 

 

BellaDonna

[Kookie]

My cousin did that by putting on little weight and starving herself. I remember her making a comment that she was gaining weight, but it never looked like a pregnant belly. None of her friends or family knew until she was ready to deliver

 

She got very lucky because in that case, she could've had bad complications.

 

It's not a good idea to hide a pregnancy. There's a lot of emotional support that a woman needs.

[RayKay]

Yes it "can be done" and it has been done...however it is extremely dangerous to both her and the child. If she is not under care, there can be many complications that can be a serious risk to her and the baby, including preclampsia, or without proper care/nutrition can lead to spina bifida or other disabilities with the child.

 

She will also need emotional support...pregnancy is a tough thing for most women, never mind one who is scared and young like she is.

 

If she tries to hide pregnancy, she may avoid gaining weight, and endanger both their health, or lack the proper medical care.

 

Yes her parents might be upset, but she is an adult, and as an adult also has a responsibility for her actions that led her to this, and for the consequences. This time that consequence is a pregnancy, and as an adult she should ensure this child has a healthy chance.

 

I think even if her parents are upset, they will find out sooner or later..and I think they are better to be informed now, then when she is in labour, or having complications. If she is keeping the baby anyway, I really see NO purpose in hiding it from them until the baby is born...what is she going to do, show up for Christmas Dinner with a new baby and say "surprise!"?. She might as well tell them now, give them time to get used to idea...they may be upset at it at first, but chances are good they will come around and embrace their daughter and future grandchild.

[Jetta]

Well it's really immature to keep something like that a secret. Do you think I wanted to tell my parents I was pregnant and had eloped with a man they forbid me to date? Of course not, but I did anyway. I figured they'd find out sooner or later so it was better to tell them the news as close to my finding out about the pregnancy as possible. It still took me two weeks to get ahold of them. I figured they couldn't be angry with me for lying to them if I told them right away.

 

They were hurt, shocked, etc. My dad actually cried. They weren't happy but understood it wasn't easy for me to tell them. They didn't berate me, they offered support, and knowing sooner gave them time to adjust to the idea.

 

I really don't condone hiding this from your parents. Hiding problems doesn't solve them. And you'll need their support during this time. Oh I was scared my mom would chew me out. She didn't. That was the one time she kept her thoughts to herself.

[cleverme123]

I hid two pregnancies from my family cause I feared their reaction. Although I am 26 my mom had issues with me being pregnant and 21 and my last child 3 months ago. I was lucky and showed very little with either. I am slightly overweight so it was not impossible to convince people I gained.

 

Any how....I had my daughter by myself and had no support the father dropped off after 3 months of pregnancy. I wouldn't have had support from my parents either. It was hard. they were shocked to learn that I had a baby and were devastated cause I didn't tell them and ask them to accept her. That wasn't the issue. The no support and the deception will eat you alive.

 

My last one, parents didn't approve of my husband who I married without telling them and they didn't approve of me being pregnant with baby #3. I hid it again but had a supportive husband.

 

IF she is keeping the baby its better to deliver the shock now then to wait, it will be worse after the baby comes along. And consequently, what is she planning on doing to make sure the baby is cared for while she is in college?