girl won' t leave me alone !

[randy]

I just want some OPINIONS ! A girl that I sit next to at work is constantly bothering me ( Sat next to each other for about 2 years now and it's always been like this ) ! Now this is NOT A BAD thing . Im just curious ! I'am kind of a flirty guy when I'm in that mode .

 

I have her laughing at things and im ALWAYS busting on her . Teasing her about little stupid thing , like when she drops something saying things like "O . . . just don't bother picking it up . . . you' re just going to drop it again because you're so clumsy " ( in a funny way of course ) . Just being my funny and confident self.

 

If I tease her she always gives me a little slap on the shoulder or arm . A few time's she left her chair and came over to my desk just to HIT ME !

Sometimes she will ask me stupid questions. Questions SHE ALREADY KNOWS THE ANSWERS TO ! Questions anyone whould know the answers to ( work related questions ) . I would usually say " I think you already know the answer to your question " And she would giggle and say " ya you're right " Often she comes over to my desk and we watch music videos , comedy videos together (WOW ! work can get REALLY booring sometimes ) ! A few days ago she put her head on my shoulder for about 10 seconds to watch a video ( on that particular day we REALLY got talking to eachother ) .

 

She seems to not want to stop talking to me. Every 5 minutes or so she has to come RIGHT UP to me . She rolls her chair over to me and brings her face up to me about 12INCHES away and starts talking to me with a huge smile on her face ( she' s smiling most of the time she talks to me ) . Sometimes I notice that I spend about 2 hrs off and on a day just talking to her ! SOMETIMES AN HOUR OR SO STRIGHT !

 

Now when i'm not busy i look at her when she's talking to me , but . . . if i'm busy , I work and talk to her at the same time looking at her every now and then, ( I look at my screen because I have to get my work done ) . Sometimes if i'm really busy i say " sorry I can' t talk now , i have to get this job done" and she gives me a pouty and sad look then turns around . Of course 10 - 30 minutes later shes back talking to me again .

 

Now when we do talk, we talk about many things . Mostly her FAMILY , friends , her EX - BOYFRIENDS , A GUY that she dated that she says she LOVES ( they broke up but she still has some feelings for him , they are friends now ) and a guy thats she's currently DATING . She also showed me pictures of her family and ex bfs etc . She also asks me often about how she looks ! For example "how does this dress , or how this top looks on me" ( I usually say it looks OK ). Or "do you think i need a hair cut . " ( I usually respond in a very serious voice " you should just shave it ALL off ) !

 

 

Now everyone at work hears us talking to eachother ! I'm constantly told that she has a thing for me and that I have a think for her ! She also gets teased a lot about always talking to me. A co - worker that sits close to us is always telling her " hey leave him alone " ( in a joking way of course ) . When he says this she ALLLLLWAYS laughs !

 

Now I must mention that she is a VERY TALKATIVE person that LOVES ATTENTION ! ( but none the less she does'nt talk to anyone for that long each day really and does not seem to act exactly the same around me like she does around everyone else . She seems to give me more ) !

 

What do YOU ALL think ? Is she interested in me as more than a friend or are my co-workers horribly INSANE ! ! ! !

[DN]

I think she is interested - and your co-workers probably have a better idea than I do.

[MsMe]

It sounds to me as if she's interested. The only thing that is a "red flag" in my mind is the amount of time she spends talking with you. Even when your co-worker says (jokingly) "Leave him alone", could it be her constant talking is bothering them? Talking approximately 2 hours a day at work is a bit excessive.

 

I have co-workers that I speak to. I try to keep the conversations down to about 10 minutes and I don't talk to them every day. I would suggest gently but firmly setting some boundaries with her just incase upper management takes notice.

[metallicachica247]

i think she is digging u and deep down... i think u mite b digging her too

[DropToZero]

Man...I have nothing else to say..except I will....BRAVO!!! Someone else on this site gets it....EVERY GUY ON THIS SITE THAT IS SHY...WHATEVER...READ THIS...LEARN!! THIS IS HOW YOU FLIRT! This is how you stop asking all those little questions about 'does she like me?' b/c of her little body signals....This is how you will no longer have to ask questions like that b/c you will KNOW if she likes you.

 

Now...randy...you're starting to sound like me tho...you're in denial. Of course this girl likes you....EVERY sign I read from this is soooo obvious...see I was like you, I did all the same exact type of things with the last girl I dated...teased and flirted with her all the time, busted on her...you know. But like you...I was so amazed by how it worked that I got lost in it and still was questioning myself about whether or not she liked me. I questioned too long tho and ended up messing it up...moved on(but I dont doubt Ill get a 2nd chance with her in time). See...after I moved on, I looked back at everything again...b/c you'll see it from a different perspective, and it was soooo obvious this girl was nuts about me b/c she was like your girl, wouldn't leave me alone. Ask her out!...and keep up whatever you're doing!

[Hope75]

It definitely sounds as though she is interested in you and I don't think your coworkers are way off base here.

 

If you are interested as well, as long as your work doesn't have a policy about co workers dating, maybe you could ask her out?

 

My only caution is that if you don't think it will work out, and there is always that possibility, it will make working right next to her a nightmare for both of you.

[randy]

The only thing that is a "red flag" in my mind is the amount of time she spends talking with you. Even when your co-worker says (jokingly) "Leave him alone", could it be her constant talking is bothering them? Talking approximately 2 hours a day at work is a bit excessive.

 

Ya . . . I know the talking bothers them ! She talks A BIT to much ! The co - worker words are more like "hey stop bothering -insert my name here- or " you just WON'T leave him alone eh "

[randy]

i think u mite b digging her too

 

 

well . . . . . . . . . . . . . ya , you MAYBE right !

[catgirl82]

you 2 definetly like eachother

[randy]

What confuses me , is she talks to me about GUYS SHE LIKES . From my experience , a girl will not talk to you about guys she likes if she' s into YOU ! She would not ask you "what should I say when I talk to ( insert name of guy she likes here ) " !

 

I understand taking to me about guys she' s interested in ONCE or TWICE to make me a bit JEALOUS , but not constantly !

[randy]

What confuses me , is she talks to me about GUYS SHE LIKES . From my experience , a girl will not talk to you about guys she likes if she' s into YOU ! She would not ask you "what should I say when I talk to ( insert name of guy she likes here ) " !

 

I understand taking to me about guys she' s interested in ONCE or TWICE to make me a bit JEALOUS , but not constantly !

 

Anyone have ANY opinions on the above quote . . .

[DN]

Do any of the the guys she likes have the same sort of characteristics as you. re these guys real or an ideal for her.

[randy]

Do any of the the guys she likes have the same sort of characteristics as you. re these guys real or an ideal for her.

 

yes . . . with the guys she like there ARE similarities . . . i.e, similar style when dressing . . . similar taste in music . . . of course there are DIFFERENCES as well ! There are more similarities between this girl and I than there is between the guys she like and me !

[DN]

If you are interested - then ask her out. Seems to me she is interested, talking about the guys she likes could be a way of showing that she is available (has no b/f).

[randy]

If you are interested - then ask her out. Seems to me she is interested, talking about the guys she likes could be a way of showing that she is available (has no b/f).

 

i can see what you're saying . . . but talking about that CONSTANTLY . What does she think , i' ll forget she's AVAILABLE ( yes , we guys forget things about a girl , but no one ' s THAAAAAT BAD )

[scythian]

Man.....she wants you.....

[DN]

Don't worry about all that stuff- if you ask her out and she says yes, and then you start dating and after a few dates she is still talking about other guys you may have a problem. But for now - just ask her out.

[Shidoshi]

I agree, just ask her out to calm your nerves. However, you've brought up some interesting things about how she talks about other guys and so forth. She may just like the "attention" (I have so many stories) she gets from you, so be prepared to face the possibilty that things may change between you two after you ask her out. Of course if she's game then you take it from there, but be careful not to lose yourself in this because it has the potential to cause awkward feelings if things don't go as planned, especially since you work together.

[ComputerGuy]

In my experience, when a girl who otherwise appears to like you talks about guys she likes, it's because in her head she goes "OK I can't sound desperate or something"...I know cause I do the same thing, (only Im a guy and I talk about girls I like)

[randy]

you've brought up some interesting things about how she talks about other guys and so forth. She may just like the "attention" (I have so many stories) she gets from you, so be prepared to face the possibilty that things may change between you two after you ask her out. Of course if she's game then you take it from there, but be careful not to lose yourself in this because it has the potential to cause awkward feelings if things don't go as planned, especially since you work together.

 

. . . and you've pretty much read my mind . . . i know she' s addicted to the attention . . . she' s REALLY bad like that . It' s like she needs it to SURVIVE ! ! !

[cranberry]

Hey randy,

Since you answered my post, I am going to take shot at yours.

 

A lot of girls like to flirt/tease. It can be a lot of fun. It's even more fun if the person you are flirting with is attractive and you are interested in them. I see this in my department. We are an all-female department except for 2 guys: the guy I posted about, and this other kindof annoying 16yo. The first guy is attractive so what a coincidence that all the girls flirt with him and want his attention. The second guy nobody flirts with. (They talk to him, are friendly to him, but don't flirt).

With that notion in mind, in your office, what is stopping her from constantly wanting the attention of another guy? Why doesn't she (constantly) bug the guy in the next cubicle? Well, for starters she must find you attractive and have at the least a tiny interest in you. Second, she likes to be teased by you (it's flirting and it's fun). And like I said before, flirting is even more fun if you find the other attractive and have interest in them (i.e, enjoy talking to them, like their personality).

 

I remember reading one of your posts about a christmas gift you gave her--a purse. In my opinion, that was a thoughtful gift and was a little something extra than you would give the average coworker. What kind of gift did she give you? If it was something she picked up at the dollarstore...she either didn't put any thought into it or she is very cheap. If it was something moderately thoughtful, then it shows that she does care about you and your opinion of her. It does seem that she cares about your opinion a lot, because she asks you about her hair, boyfriends, etc. If she gave the same gift to everyone, then that just means she didn't have time to find great gifts for everyone and it was just easier that way.

 

You said she constantly mentions other guys to you. ComputerGuy said it's because she doesn't want to seem desperate, that could be it. Maybe she just likes to talk and tell everyone about their lovelife. The guy I posted about, told practically everyone about his love life dilemma. Maybe she is waiting for you to show signs that you are jealous, and since you are not, she just keeps telling you more and more. Does she ask you about who you are dating? Or do you tell her about your dating life?

[Your_Own_Disaster]

you wouldnt have started this thread if you didnt like her.

so....

 

ask her 2 hang out on the weekend. see what she says and see how that goes.

 

then..... ask her 2 hang out agen etc..... then ask her out.

 

ps.. if your kind of going with her b4 u ask her out, shes more likey to say yes, and by that i mean unofficially goin out.

 

if none of that helped, just slap me lol.

[randy]

With that notion in mind, in your office, what is stopping her from constantly wanting the attention of another guy? Why doesn't she (constantly) bug the guy in the next cubicle?

 

Well . . . she sits next to me . There's no cubicle next to hers except mine . Ya i know she can get up and talk to someone else .

 

You said she constantly mentions other guys to you. ComputerGuy said it's because she doesn't want to seem desperate, that could be it. Maybe she just likes to talk and tell everyone about their lovelife. The guy I posted about, told practically everyone about his love life dilemma. Maybe she is waiting for you to show signs that you are jealous, and since you are not, she just keeps telling you more and more. Does she ask you about who you are dating? Or do you tell her about your dating life?

 

I never tell her about my reletationship with "female friends" . I just rather not talk to her about that . . . But, . . . I KNOW I SHOULD . But i do flirt a lot infront of her with other females .

 

LOL . . . this one time we went to get some food and bought it back to our cafeteria to eat with our other 2 friends ( so that' s 4 of us all together ) . All 4 of us started talking and we mentioned that she and I went to get some food . She then said to the other 2 co-workers "Ya and he was flirting with the cashier" . Then the other 2 co-workers said "ya and it makes you jellous right ?" She then got all shy and quite and said in a very soft voice " No i have a BF already " ( but she does not ).

 

 

Little strange thing happened today . I mentioned she likes this guy named ( lets call him Mister X ) she says she' s in love with him . Mister X broke up with her and they hardly talk now . Today she called me over to her computer to ask my opinion on something she' s working on. She said hey "Mister X" can you come over here . She then realised she called ME "MISTER X" and put her and over her mouth and gasped" I then said " "hey . . . it' s (insert my name here) not "Mister X" .

[randy]

you wouldnt have started this thread if you didnt like her.

 

Well not completely true . . . I just wanted some opinions . . . but you might be right LOL

[Dre_7]

Man...I have nothing else to say..except I will....BRAVO!!! Someone else on this site gets it....EVERY GUY ON THIS SITE THAT IS SHY...WHATEVER...READ THIS...LEARN!! THIS IS HOW YOU FLIRT! This is how you stop asking all those little questions about 'does she like me?' b/c of her little body signals....This is how you will no longer have to ask questions like that b/c you will KNOW if she likes you.

 

Now...randy...you're starting to sound like me tho...you're in denial. Of course this girl likes you....EVERY sign I read from this is soooo obvious...see I was like you, I did all the same exact type of things with the last girl I dated...teased and flirted with her all the time, busted on her...you know. But like you...I was so amazed by how it worked that I got lost in it and still was questioning myself about whether or not she liked me. I questioned too long tho and ended up messing it up...moved on(but I dont doubt Ill get a 2nd chance with her in time). See...after I moved on, I looked back at everything again...b/c you'll see it from a different perspective, and it was soooo obvious this girl was nuts about me b/c she was like your girl, wouldn't leave me alone. Ask her out!...and keep up whatever you're doing!

 

I fully agree with you DTZ, especially if the teasing is silly, yet in good taste. It gives the girl something to keep up with, and the opposite of tesing/flirting (being more open) is being nervous and anxious, in which case it's bad for both you and the girl with all that tension.

I've tried it, it works..and there's no harm in it. Also, guys who do this are not "jerks," at all, I'm saying this because I'm a nice person, but I've always had that general playful teasing nature. And for the guys, if you think it won't work, try it with an acquaintance, you'll be surprised. Even if you're not successful, you have experience and knowledge.