Will I ever love again?

[cobro]

I'm at a point in my life where I have finally discovered who I am. I'm 26, single, good job, new house, attractive, good personality, just a bit shy sometimes, but I have overcome it numerous times. The times I do come out of my shell, people love hanging out with me and I meet lots of girls. The only problem is that these are the wrong kinds of girls. Girls who like to party all the time, who aren't interested in settling down eventually. I feel like an old man already. I'm tired of the club scene, I've just joined a Christian singles group in the hope I meet some nice girls. The last time I was in love was 2 years ago and I still think about her often. Last I heard she was getting married to the guy she started dating after me. Since her, that's the story of my dating life, all the girls I've dated ended up marrying the guy after me. Seriously. Heck my last gf is hooked up with my former roomate, notice I say former.

 

So I'm tired of just being in the hole the last two years, I've messed around way too much and I'm surprised I came out of this a better person. Yeah, I did learn alot about myself and life, sowed my oats so to speak. I am relying on God now to show me the way and bring someone in my life. I just now realized I have been hanging out with the wrong people and persuing the wrong girls. I have few friends now after kind of pulling away from my other friends, I think they were a bad influence on me. I'd rather do the right thing now and in the process I've discovered who I am and what I want.

 

The nagging feeling that won't go away is that I've only been in love once, and that was over a long time ago, and I want to love someone again. I feel like I have so much to offer, I just haven't been exposed to the right girls who will see this. Maybe this singles group will work out. But its just frustrating to see all my past gf's happy and I'm just now resolving my personal issues, I hope it's not too late. I swear I would do anything for the girl I love.

 

I'm also being cautious on being too clingy or pushy, I feel myself pressuring myself and I have to stop and think sometimes "they can sense this too". Oh well. I just had to rant about the way I feel right now, if this makes sense to anyone feel free to give any advice, it would help.

 

Thanks.

[nikhilgore]

Dude I totally feel you. I am in the same boat that you are wherein career and financially I have more than the average person in his mid 20's. Like you my past two exes have found the love of their lives(or so they say).

 

The one difference is that after my last ex left my I realized how much I had been missing out on single life. So since then I have been having a great time by just doing what seems like fun to me and this is something I would advise you to do. Dont go looking out for love it will come to you (caveat: keep yourself available).

 

Like you I would give up the fun for the right girl in a heartbeat but you have to enjoy life until then. A married friend of mine tell me everyday that to enjoy my life as it is now as life changes for good once youre married.

 

Like you I have put all my cards on the table and have faith that good things will come my way. You have to believe that everything happens for a reason and I assure you that once youre ready for the love of your life she will come into your life.

 

The one thing that I noticed about me and my friend tell me too is that I have high standards and I (and you too) expect the same level of success from a prospect.

[heloladies21]

How many girls do you hit on everyday? Like me, probably not enough. Don't you think that if you hit on tons of girls for real that you would find someone who would give you everything you're looking for? It's a problem with a solution. Don't sit at home, and every spare second should be used to talk to new girls. Go and get them.

[Alabama]

I don't think your approach is bad, or that your not looking for enough girls. But you see to dwell too much on the past. A lot of girls you say you've dated, have gotten married, correct? Well, so what! You're still relatively young and you will still have many chances to find love. So, do as the abover poster suggested, and just keep looking! Good luck!

[disEnchantid]

chin up cobro! Of COURSE you will love again! you are an intelligent, good looking, and all around amazing guy!

 

me and you need to work on our self confidence and allow things to just fall into place for us--you with your nice, dorky girl and me with my nice dorky guy

 

I'll bet if you met the ex tonight, you would see right through her little charade and not be interested at all-at the time in your life you met her you were still a bit naive, now you are older and wiser and can see through the games and nonsense- which is why you haven't found anyone really worthwhile yet. You've learned what works for you and what doesn't, and now it's just a matter of finding someone who works for you, and you WILL!!

 

patience is a virtue.. come on, we can be patient together

 

love dE

[thewriterslife]

You definitely sound like a sensible "with it" individual and it has made me so happy to have found someone who is on the right track. A lot of questions about the soul mate experience that I receive comes from people who have given up and don't know which road to take. You have found that road. I see a beautiful ending at the end of your road.