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Should I move from my own place to moving in with friends...at 27?


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When I was 25, I moved into my first 1-bedroom apartment out of my parents' (controlling) home. I didn't even furnish nor decorate for the first 1.5 years––my mind was solely focused on healing and escaping.

I've also been tasked with making new friends from scratch. I had many hobbies. Finding nice people was easy; finding "my" people was not. The people who click with you very easily; reciprocal in contact; kind, consistent, shared worldviews.

Well, I think I've found them. We met in January and have spent a lot of nice together since. The best part is that they're CLOSE-BY, and if you live in the DFW metroplex, you know how much of a God send that is.

Except, they're moving. And now, I could make the 30 min to 1 hr trek to go see them several times a week, but that will be unsustainably brutal, and there's probably another idea: I could move in with them?

My friends are a gay guy and bisexual girl. (I'm a straight female). They're clean and responsible. I only see a few concerns:

  • I have some qualms about handling dating safety (I wouldn't feel 100% comfortable with male strangers being brought to our home, as they oft do. No judgement, though!, but it is a risk of safety as a young woman.)

 

  • I just started decorating for the first time a few months ago, and my place is finally starting to feel like my place, my home. There's also the thing about feeling I'm stepping backwards: going from my own solo place to living with roommates is out of order in the Grown-Up Adult playbook.

 

  • This is silly, but...I'm also a virgin, and I also wanted to start my first sexual relationship in the privacy of my home...much more convenient and comfortable than living with roommates.

Otherwise, the flipside could be having consistent community around me and saving money. What do you guys think?

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To add more clarification:

  • They're moving because one roommate moved out after they broke up with one friend. Another moved to save money to live with her mom, be close to her job, and eventually moving to France.

 

  • I WFH, so I am a free bird and can live and work anywhere. I also have no plans to be in this city or state long-term...in fact, I want to move abroad, so this could be a nice step to save money before I do.
     
  • I also want to move into a whole another industry that will likely require a pay cut. I have no plans to be in this stare or city of long-term, so to me, a move with friends could be a good middle step to my eventual goal of moving outside the country. I've enjoyed my apartment while being here, but I am not forever tied to it by any means. I'm just weighing my options.
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I've known at least three occasions where people who were good friends moved in together and wound up as enemies. It's hard enough to get two people on the exact same page for all house rules, chores, noise levels, but you're also adding a third roommate to that mix. 

In one case, one person was always having friends over who were eating all the roommates's food and beverages. One ended up stealing items from the other. One was messier than the other and snored so loudly it reverberated through the walls.

I'd feel uncomfortable if a friend was making such a major move to live by me when I was only moving 30 minutes to an hour away. Or even if further depending on circumstances. Less than an hour away is definitely no trek to most. And you're investing way too much when friendships are not guaranteed to last forever. Be careful with this, or you will scare people away. 

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I agree with the others and don't see this as an age thing.  I specifically avoided having roommates for the reasons the others mentioned.  I didn't move out of my parents' apartment till I was 28, then had my own place until I got married at 42.  Also why not move to where their neighborhood is and get your very own place? Also I woudn't count on following them to France either.  It's great you found your people but these are platonic friends not a romantic partner with a serious future.  And these people are moving on in the not too distant future.  Just travel to see them on weekends or meet in the middle. I agree with the others. 

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Friends will no longer being your friends once you live with them because too much familiarity breeds contempt. 

It's better to make the drive whenever you want to see them vs. living with them. 

If you can work and live anywhere,  enjoy your flexibility and options. 

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Although it may look good on paper so to speak, living with roommates is not a walk in the park, along with making that choice being something you'll likely regret, (imo).

You can still keep your friends, but at a distance. I'd stay put, as you'll have much more freedom living alone.

Of course it's your call.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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