Should I stop texting her everyday?

[Max33]

I text a girl every day for hours, and she responds. However, sometimes we struggle to find topics to discuss, which leads us to play games or eventually find something to talk about. The issue is that she's not my girlfriend yet, and I'm hesitant to express my feelings for her because I'm unsure if she's interested. We haven't met in person because she's from a different country, but it's still possible for us to meet since we're not too far apart. Should I stop texting her every day?

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Max33 said:

I text a girl every day for hours. We haven't met in person because she's from a different country, but it's still possible for us to meet since we're not too far apart. 

How do you know each other besides through the games and texting? When someone contacts you from a different it could be a scammer, catfish, timewaster or someone in a relationship.  You can't make someone you never met and don't even know your GF. Please step back and date local available women you can meet in person in a timely manner. 

[Andrina]

How often can you afford to visit her if she wants to meet? What's the reason you aren't dating locally? If she's so beautiful and wonderful and has a lot going for her, why is she investing her time in someone far away which is the most difficult way to begin a romance? Does that make sense to you, or can you not see the forest for the trees?

[boltnrun]

Have you arranged to meet in person? If so, when, where and how?

Are you a student or do you have a job? Or both? How about her?

[Max33]

12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How do you know each other besides through the games and texting? When someone contacts you from a different it could be a scammer, catfish, timewaster or someone in a relationship.  You can't make someone you never met and don't even know your GF. Please step back and date local available women you can meet in person in a timely manner. 

We know each other because we are both trying to learn a language. and I posted on a group that I want to studying partener and then she sent me a msg 

[Max33]

14 minutes ago, Andrina said:

How often can you afford to visit her if she wants to meet? What's the reason you aren't dating locally? If she's so beautiful and wonderful and has a lot going for her, why is she investing her time in someone far away which is the most difficult way to begin a romance? Does that make sense to you, or can you not see the forest for the trees?

No, the beggining of the chat was to only try improving our language because we were both in a group to learn a language

[Max33]

15 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Have you arranged to meet in person? If so, when, where and how?

Are you a student or do you have a job? Or both? How about her?

we both are student in the univesity

[TeeDee]

Since you have already established a pattern of texting every day, changing that now without explanation will distress her.  

Do try to arrange a meeting in person sooner rather than later. 

Can you at least do a video call to speak your new language to each other?  

[boltnrun]

10 minutes ago, Max33 said:

we both are student in the univesity

Are your parents paying for your schooling? 

Have you arranged to meet in person?  Do you have any means of income to pay for travel expenses?

[Wiseman2]

13 minutes ago, Max33 said:

No, the beggining of the chat was to only try improving our language because we were both in a group to learn a language

That's okay. Language apps are popular. However you're developing a crush and that could complicate things.

[Max33]

no this is on discord, recently in the last week we stopped talking in the language we learn or talking about anything that related to the language we are learning and we started talking in our native languages (we are arab)

[Max33]

9 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Are your parents paying for your schooling? 

Have you arranged to meet in person?  Do you have any means of income to pay for travel expenses?

I'll probably be able to do that next year

[Cherylyn]

Give each other a break from constant texting.  Space is good.  This prevents texting from growing stale, 

[Andrina]

Aren't there around 20 or more females in each of your classes in university? Do you attend parties fellow students have, or are you in any university clubs or do you play sports? I'm asking again why you're seeking love long distance when you're surrounded by numerous single women your age locally. Have you any dating experience? Are you hiding behind a computer screen because you feel a measure of safety, such as not feeling as emotionally vulnerable when there is the barrier of the screen and it will take forever to actually meet this person?

In answer to your question, everything is fantasy until you meet, so being in daily contact with a stranger is not a good idea. Golden opportunities of dating a local woman will pass you right by while you're holed up in your room in front of a computer.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Max33 said:

I'll probably be able to do that next year

Please don't plan ahead like this. You don't really know this person at all. 

[catfeeder]

Texting for hours squelches your ability to form a social life. Go out and make friends in real life. Expand your world instead of going reclusive.

[Cherylyn]

Texting,  emails,  messages,  voicemails and even phone chat overload leads to burnout.  It's bound to happen sooner or later.  Keep rapport (or friendships / relationships) fresh by creating some mystique which is very attractive.  Too much familiarity breeds contempt.  ☹️

[Max33]

On 5/18/2024 at 2:56 AM, Andrina said:

Aren't there around 20 or more females in each of your classes in university? Do you attend parties fellow students have, or are you in any university clubs or do you play sports? I'm asking again why you're seeking love long distance when you're surrounded by numerous single women your age locally. Have you any dating experience? Are you hiding behind a computer screen because you feel a measure of safety, such as not feeling as emotionally vulnerable when there is the barrier of the screen and it will take forever to actually meet this person?

In answer to your question, everything is fantasy until you meet, so being in daily contact with a stranger is not a good idea. Golden opportunities of dating a local woman will pass you right by while you're holed up in your room in front of a computer.

There's a girl in my class that i actually like, but this girl just came to my dms to improve our language and then we stopped learning and just started talking about everything or playing games and started talking in our native language because we are arab.

[Andrina]

The world might seem like a small place with modern technology, but the fact is there are too many cons to long distance relationships, one being that the failure risk is extremely high when a romance starts as long distance. I once did online dating for several years. We liked each other's photos, e-mails, and phone calls and had high expectations of meeting. 9 out of 10 times on the first meet, one or both of us didn't share chemistry or the connection needed to move on to a 2nd date.

There is absolutely no reason you should get more and more emotionally invested in this stranger while you ignore more realistic prospects who are local. If you haven't spoken to the girl in your class you like, why not do so? Get to know her better? Are you shy, lack confidence, etc. to try to socialize with people in person? If so, practice makes perfect.

[Max33]

21 hours ago, Andrina said:

The world might seem like a small place with modern technology, but the fact is there are too many cons to long distance relationships, one being that the failure risk is extremely high when a romance starts as long distance. I once did online dating for several years. We liked each other's photos, e-mails, and phone calls and had high expectations of meeting. 9 out of 10 times on the first meet, one or both of us didn't share chemistry or the connection needed to move on to a 2nd date.

There is absolutely no reason you should get more and more emotionally invested in this stranger while you ignore more realistic prospects who are local. If you haven't spoken to the girl in your class you like, why not do so? Get to know her better? Are you shy, lack confidence, etc. to try to socialize with people in person? If so, practice makes perfect.

I'm not sure if she likes me back even though we have that eye contact.

[Andrina]

You'll never know anything if you don't speak to her. How about: How do you like this class? What other classes are you taking? Then tell her stuff about you, like what you're majoring in. Ask if she's doing anything fun on summer break. If you discuss things with the online lady, why can't you discuss things with a lady in person?

Even if she's not romantically interested in you, what if she became a new friend or at minimum, someone interesting to talk to for a few minutes before or after class? 

[ShySoul]

Regarding the texting girl: There's no rule or limit for how much you can or should text or call (well, other then what specific phone planes might allow 😉). If the two of you enjoy it and have fun with it, then talk all you want. At one point I was chatting online with someone every night for hours at a time. And if we weren't online, we were on the phone. We could go from topic to topic. And if we didn't have a topic, we'd do something silly like play each other songs over the phone. Point was we liked communicating with each other and came out of the conversations feeling happy. So if the two of you are happy for your conversations, then no need to stop.

At the same time, recognize that at some point you should meet in person. It is easy to be swept in the fantasy element. Doesn't mean things can't go forward or that long distance can't work  But it's wise to take your time and make sure that the connection is real. I've had a couple brushes with romance that started as an online friendship, met in person, and became more. Yes there are drawbacks. But it can also be very rewarding. Really, you take all the same risks in a relationship regardless of how you meet or where you are at. It comes down to how the people involved feel and how much they are willing to put in. 

This is about doing what will make you happy and following your heart. Which girl are you truly interested in, if any? Which one do you feel that connection and bond with? Who do you look forward to talking to and being around? Who do you feel most comfortable talking and sharing things with? Who do you want to get to know better? That's the one with pursuing. Even if it doesn't work out like you hope, I've found that I've never regretted doing what my heart guides me to do.