When You Look Good, You FEEL Good...

[Jaunty]

There's also the possibility that he felt like he DID look good, and was feeling top notch about himself. 

 The topic is "if you look good you FEEL good."   

Maybe you're conflating things that are not related.

Clearly your styles didn't match and probably your lifestyles wouldn't either.   So you got useful information about him because of his presentation.  

But ... casual guy, maybe a beach / surf / skater/ bohemian / post-grunge  kind of social scene, this could be him looking and feeling fine.   

I would not jump to the conclusion that if he was dressed more like he was planning a day at the mall  he would  be communicating a better feeling about himself.   

 

 

[rainbowsandroses]

11 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

Clearly your styles didn't match and probably your lifestyles wouldn't either.   So you got useful information about him because of his presentation.  

Absolutely!!! 

I was disappointed though, because we had clicked so well on line.

But at the end of the day, it's all good. 

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Jaunty said:

There's also the possibility that he felt like he DID look good, and was feeling top notch about himself. 

 The topic is "if you look good you FEEL good."   

@Jauntymy impression of him is that appearances mean very little to him at least as it pertains to clothes and style. 

And I can actually respect that!  That he's his own man, lives for himself and dances to his own drummer.   I do admire those qualities. 

I say this because after he asked and I told him when 'I look good, I feel good', he challenged and argued with me about it, asking "why do I need to look good to feel good"?!!

And my response was I never thought too deeply about it. 

But afterwards I DID start thinking more deeply about it, hence this thread. 

And I'm actually still thinking about it!  And wish the responses had been more about that, although some were. 

I dunno, maybe there IS something lacking within my inner core that causes me to focus and care about my own appearance so much. 

My date may have actually had a point!  

He was (is) good looking. And looked likes he works out to stay in shape.  Owns and operates a local business. 

His rather slovenly style did throw me off though, and didn't leave me with a good initial impression.

 

[boltnrun]

You're not required to date everyone. He wasn't right for you. That's all you need to know. 

However, as for the topic itself it's the reverse for me. When I feel good I think I look better. That's likely because I have had some life threatening health issues. I know I look awful when I'm battling a critical illness. For example, twice my weight went under 100 pounds. I looked sickly. Because I WAS sickly. I certainly didn't feel up to getting dolled up. Some might argue if I had put in the effort to fix my hair and put on makeup and put on a stylish outfit I would have felt better. But when you're battling potential sepsis you aren't going to feel or get better by putting on a fancy dress or some eyeliner. 

Now that my health is better I guess I place less importance on clothing and makeup because I know those things are (to me, and I emphasize to me) are superficial. Clean, neat, presentable and appropriate to the situation or environment. I'd rather be wearing joggers and feeling relatively well than be in a pricey or stylish outfit but feeling lousy. Sure, it doesn't have to be an either/or but my priorities have been adjusted. 

The last few men I dated seldom dressed up. They were clean but they usually wore shorts or jeans and a T-shirt. My toxic ex was slovenly but he has issues, to say the least. But he was an outlier. 

[greendots]

Looking presentable, I strongly believe, is something you do every day. Every day you show up at work, you dress appropriately for work. Not just on that first interview. Why? Because work matters to you. Why not be like that in your own personal life? Don't we matter?

Does it mean that jeans and t-shirts are out? Or that we have to wear make-up every day? Of course not. Dress according to the occasion, and whatever you wear make sure clothes fit you, are clean, and you smell nice.

Be yourself, but aim to be the best version of yourself!