I don't know how to leave him

[Anni3]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months. I come from a very religious environment where saving yourself for marriage is a big thing. 

When I first started dating him, he was okay with the idea of us not having sex. But after a while, we started having arguments that always led back to me not loving him enough because I wouldn't sleep with him. 

We even almost broke up at one point because apparently I was too stubborn since I wouldn't prove my love to him. 

I did not want to end our relationship so I gave in and we slept together. I never talked to him about it but since then I've hated myself a bit for giving in. 

Just last week, I discovered he was relocating in March to another country. 

 

He had known since before we met that he wasn't going to be here for long,  and he still went ahead to have a relationship with me, knowing he'd leave me behind at some point.

Despite knowing, he still pressured me into sleeping with him and I gave in because he was my first boyfriend and I thought he really loved me. 

I thought he really loved me, but I can't help but feel like he was using me to pass the time or something. 

And I won't ever get it back, I'll never go back to who I was before I met him, and when I eventually get married I won't have kept myself for my husband. 

 

He left to find somewhere to stay before relocating finally, but he'll be back in about 2 weeks time. We're still technically together but I can't help wondering if we should have split up by now. 

Should I break up with him when he comes back or should I just let him leave and cut him off? 

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, Anni3 said:

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months. I come from a very religious environment where saving yourself for marriage is a big thing.  discovered he was relocating in March to another country.  he'll be back in about 2 weeks time. We're still technically together but I can't help wondering if we should have split up by now. 

Should I break up with him when he comes back or should I just let him leave and cut him off? 

Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Do you live at home? Is he from the same culture/religion that you are? 

8 weeks dating is a good time to assess whether you are compatible and how viable the relationship is. 

Where is he now and why did he relocate?  How could he be leaving in March but he'll be back in 2 weeks?

Unfortunately you're fundamentally incompatible as far as values and unfortunately compromised your own values to hang on to a man.  Please forgive yourself and your human nature. 

[Anni3]

32 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How old is he? Do you live at home? Is he from the same culture/religion that you are? 

8 weeks dating is a good time to assess whether you are compatible and how viable the relationship is. 

Where is he now and why did he relocate?  How could he be leaving in March but he'll be back in 2 weeks?

Unfortunately you're fundamentally incompatible as far as values and unfortunately compromised your own values to hang on to a man.  Please forgive yourself and your human nature. 

He's 25 and I'm 20. He's from the same religion, but it's not something he conditions his life around unlike me. 

We've been together for close to 4 months now. 

He took a trip last week to where he'll relocating finally, to get an apartment. He initially told me he'd be back in 2 weeks, but he's been dropping hints that he might stay longer. After he finds a place to stay, he's coming back to settle all the loose ends here before relocating finally. 

Thank you. 

 

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, Anni3 said:

He's 25 and I'm 20. . After he finds a place to stay, he's coming back to settle all the loose ends here before relocating finally.

This may be the perfect time to free yourself, cut your losses and officially end things. Your not compatible, he's living somewhere else and there's too much bad blood and hurt.  Forgive yourself, brush this off as a learning experience and please be true to yourself in the future. 

[smackie9]

You can have surgery to restore your purity, so yes you can have that back.

You are only human, you will make mistakes throughout your life, just the way it is. Lesson learned. Tip: men will do and say anything to get sex. If a man truly loved you, he would never pressure you into anything. he doesn't love you so you have nothing more with him. Just end it now, and disappear, lose his number. 

[MissCanuck]

Just break up with him now. 

He doesn't respect you at all and is not into you the way you were into him. Get rid of him. 

[Capricorn3]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

This may be the perfect time to free yourself, cut your losses and officially end things. Your not compatible, he's living somewhere else and there's too much bad blood and hurt.  Forgive yourself, brush this off as a learning experience and please be true to yourself in the future. 

^ This.^

It sounds like he got what he wanted and then moved on.  If he comes back after two weeks, whatever you do, please do not fall for his pressure to sleep with him again.  He's selfish and cares more about himself than you.  The sooner you dump him the better. And then head for the hills and never look back.

[Coily]

This guy is trash. It's best you wash your hands of him now rather than try to figure this out.

Don't beat yourself up too much over this, it's a story as old as time. You can move forward head held high in time. Also don't let this jerk ruin how you view relationships going forward, a good caring man will respect your wishes about sex, even if he does lust after you. In this case you just unfortunately found a guy who put his urges as the only priority.

Also don't do any surgery, that would probably just mess with your mind more over this whole thing.

 

[Andrina]

4 hours ago, Anni3 said:

Just last week, I discovered he was relocating in March to another country. 

 

He had known since before we met that he wasn't going to be here for long,  and he still went ahead to have a relationship with me, knowing he'd leave me behind at some point.

Why would you even stay a second longer after he refrained from giving you this pertinent info? You need to raise your standards.

[rainbowsandroses]

5 hours ago, Anni3 said:

When I first started dating him, he was okay with the idea of us not having sex. But after a while, we started having arguments that always led back to me not loving him enough because I wouldn't sleep with him. 

We even almost broke up at one point because apparently I was too stubborn since I wouldn't prove my love to him. 

First off, I am so sorry this happened, truly.  Guy is a bona fide *** in my book.

Secondly, re quote above, this was manipulation plain and simple.   As such, make a promise to yourself that you will never ever again believe when a man tosses you this type of BS. 

Make another promise to yourself that you will never allow a man to manipulate you in such a way again.

A man who loves you will NOT guilt trip you into having sex with him by telling you "if you truly loved me...." what a bunch of you know what.

Anyway, again I am very sorry.  There is BIG lesson to be learned from this about maintaining your boundaries and knowing what a man who truly loves you looks like.

NOT him.

Yes, please break up with him, like yesterday.  Send him a text.

Good riddance.