Blocked By My Ex

[Rosestar5000]

I posted this song on my Snapchat called “Movin On," along with its lyrics related to moving on from an ex. My ex saw this snap and blocked me after viewing it and listening to it. He had previously watched every snap I posted for months, even after we broke up. He even reached out to me to apologize three weeks ago, so I’m confused as to why he blocked me after viewing that particular snap. I didn’t even post it with any specific message behind it; I just posted it because I liked the song. Any advice on why he blocked me?

[Wiseman2]

17 minutes ago, Rosestar5000 said:

 My ex saw this snap and blocked me after viewing it and listening to it. He even reached out to me to apologize three weeks ago, so I’m confused as to why he blocked me after viewing that particular snap. 

Sorry this is happening. How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? How old is he?  Are you trying to stay friends? Are you hoping to reconcile? 

Why haven't you blocked him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps?  Perhaps he decided to move on for good rather than being connected on social media? 

[Batya33]

57 minutes ago, Rosestar5000 said:

I posted this song on my Snapchat called “Movin On," along with its lyrics related to moving on from an ex. My ex saw this snap and blocked me after viewing it and listening to it. He had previously watched every snap I posted for months, even after we broke up. He even reached out to me to apologize three weeks ago, so I’m confused as to why he blocked me after viewing that particular snap. I didn’t even post it with any specific message behind it; I just posted it because I liked the song. Any advice on why he blocked me?

The impression to him is you posted it to get a reaction out of him  And you did.

[Rosestar5000]

46 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this is happening. How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? How old is he?  Are you trying to stay friends? Are you hoping to reconcile? 

Why haven't you blocked him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps?  Perhaps he decided to move on for good rather than being connected on social media? 

I'm 20; he's 22. We met in April 2022, but I ended things in July 2022 as I felt that it wasn't going anywhere. He texted me in January this year, wanting to restart, but the same issues persisted: him not keeping his word, having multiple excuses for not seeing me, and him not getting me anything for Valentine's Day, which led to me ending communication with him in April this year. Months later, he returned in August, and I started pressing him for better treatment. He broke up with me in October, and he suggested that I need someone who loves me more than I love them, someone who’s willing to take me on dates and willing to see me without me having to ask. We remained friends on social media until I posted that song and got blocked unexpectedly. I never really had the strength to block him, and I wanted to remain friends, but it seems unlikely now. 

[Batya33]

Why do you want a friendship with a person who was not willing to make basic plans to see you without you asking and begging for it?

[Rosestar5000]

21 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

The impression to him is you posted it to get a reaction out of him  And you did.

I mean, there wasn't any meaning behind it from my perspective. I only posted the song because I liked it. I didn’t think he would take that post seriously, and plus, we broke up almost 3 months ago, so it could’ve been about someone else for all he knows.

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, Rosestar5000 said:

I mean, there wasn't any meaning behind it from my perspective. I only posted the song because I liked it. I didn’t think he would take that post seriously, and plus, we broke up almost 3 months ago, so it could’ve been about someone else for all he knows.

Yes but the risk was the impression and perhaps he'd rather not have personal information about you related to exes or how  you feel about exes. Is there a reason you feel so compelled to post a song on social media just because you like it? Maybe just share it with a few friends who might like it?

[Rosestar5000]

10 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Why do you want a friendship with a person who was not willing to make basic plans to see you without you asking and begging for it?

When we did see each other, he gave off the perfect boyfriend vibes; his personality was exactly like mine; he told me everything I wanted to hear; and I thought we were connecting well. His excuses for not seeing me was that he was depressed and was going through a lot, so I still tried to see the potential in him. 

[Batya33]

Just now, Rosestar5000 said:

When we did see each other, he gave off the perfect boyfriend vibes; his personality was exactly like mine; he told me everything I wanted to hear; and I thought we were connecting well. His excuses for not seeing me was that he was depressed and was going through a lot, so I still tried to see the potential in him. 

I see. Watch the feet -what a person does -not the lips -what he says.  What is a "perfect boyfriend" especially since  you only dated him a few months and in those few months he didn't want to be with you even enough to make plans? I'd stop seeing potential in someone who in the present moment is not asking you out on dates he plans in advance and not acting like a person who wants to spend  time with you in person.

I've never had a perfect boyfriend, never judged someone by "vibes" for purposes of potential for the long term.  I don't have a perfect husband, I am not a perfect wife or mom and I can't say I relate to an approach of looking for some perfect boyfriend fantasy.  Do you spend a lot of time on social media? Sounds like you do?

[shouldhavelearned]

You posted it with no intentions.... yeah

 

He did what he did, move on

[Rosestar5000]

41 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I see. Watch the feet -what a person does -not the lips -what he says.  What is a "perfect boyfriend" especially since  you only dated him a few months and in those few months he didn't want to be with you even enough to make plans? I'd stop seeing potential in someone who in the present moment is not asking you out on dates he plans in advance and not acting like a person who wants to spend  time with you in person.

I've never had a perfect boyfriend, never judged someone by "vibes" for purposes of potential for the long term.  I don't have a perfect husband, I am not a perfect wife or mom and I can't say I relate to an approach of looking for some perfect boyfriend fantasy.  Do you spend a lot of time on social media? Sounds like you do?

I understand the importance of realistic expectations and not getting caught up in a perfect boyfriend fantasy, but it’s hard to do that when all I come across are guys who fake personalities and act perfect in the beginning just to get what they want, and they usually know it ends up making a girl attached to them to the point where the girl ends up overlooking all of their red flags. 

I honestly do spend a lot of time on social media, and I’ve been trying to get away from it, but I just get bored without it. 

[Rosestar5000]

35 minutes ago, shouldhavelearned said:

You posted it with no intentions.... yeah

 

He did what he did, move on

I honestly did.

And it’s easier said than done, especially when they’ve come back several times and made me feel a way no one else ever has. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Rosestar5000 said:

I understand the importance of realistic expectations and not getting caught up in a perfect boyfriend fantasy, but it’s hard to do that when all I come across are guys who fake personalities and act perfect in the beginning just to get what they want, and they usually know it ends up making a girl attached to them to the point where the girl ends up overlooking all of their red flags. 

I honestly do spend a lot of time on social media, and I’ve been trying to get away from it, but I just get bored without it. 

Then you’ll have to learn and practice self discipline daily - baby steps - and stop making silly excuses for making less than good choices with your personal life. Most good things and goals require this and are hard. Oh well. Life is like that but far more rewarding than the alternative passivity. And negativity

tske steps to meet new people in environments likely to attract people if character and integrity. . Do volunteer work. Volunteer back stage at community theater. Take a yoga or Pilates class or join a hiking group or book group. Set time controls on your phone. Read a book instead. I doubled my reading time once the pandemic hit since I knew I’d be tempted to be on SM.  

[shouldhavelearned]

Several times is not a good thing

 

You deserve better and it's out there

 

Work on yourself for now 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Rosestar5000 said:

 I ended things in July 2022 as I felt that it wasn't going anywhere. him not keeping his word, having multiple excuses for not seeing me, . I started pressing him for better treatment.  he suggested that I need someone who loves me more than I love them.

Please trust your instincts. You made the right decision the first time ending it with someone who's "meh" and just coasting along treating you poorly and like an afterthought at best.

  It's possible he is seeing someone and cleaned up his social media removing exes, actually that's a good idea for you too. Clean up your social media and contact lists and delete all the stale dead weight.

Review and reset your social media privacy settings and who can view your content. Especially if you hope to start dating again, you don't want a bunch of exes on social media. 

It's also possible he perceived it as a hint because you've been on/off, back and forth a lot and he really doesn't want a relationship. 

[Batya33]

Just now, Divorced_w_3 said:

If you were airing me out on social media and we had broken up I would likely have done the same thing. 

She says she didn’t mean to. But he probably took it that way. 

[Rosestar5000]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Then you’ll have to learn and practice self discipline daily - baby steps - and stop making silly excuses for making less than good choices with your personal life. Most good things and goals require this and are hard. Oh well. Life is like that but far more rewarding than the alternative passivity. And negativity

tske steps to meet new people in environments likely to attract people if character and integrity. . Do volunteer work. Volunteer back stage at community theater. Take a yoga or Pilates class or join a hiking group or book group. Set time controls on your phone. Read a book instead. I doubled my reading time once the pandemic hit since I knew I’d be tempted to be on SM.  

Will definitely consider these suggestions going forward. Thank you for the advice. 

[Rosestar5000]

2 hours ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Several times is not a good thing

 

You deserve better and it's out there

 

Work on yourself for now 

Yeah, I honestly knew better. I will be focusing on myself for a while. 

[Rosestar5000]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Please trust your instincts. You made the right decision the first time ending it with someone who's "meh" and just coasting along treating you poorly and like an afterthought at best.

  It's possible he is seeing someone and cleaned up his social media removing exes, actually that's a good idea for you too. Clean up your social media and contact lists and delete all the stale dead weight.

Review and reset your social media privacy settings and who can view your content. Especially if you hope to start dating again, you don't want a bunch of exes on social media. 

It's also possible he perceived it as a hint because you've been on/off, back and forth a lot and he really doesn't want a relationship. 

Yeah, I’m definitely learning to trust my instincts and not ignore the first red flag. I hadn't thought about cleaning up my social media and resetting privacy settings, but it definitely makes sense.

[Rosestar5000]

1 hour ago, Divorced_w_3 said:

If you were airing me out on social media and we had broken up I would likely have done the same thing. 

I wasn’t airing him out. I post songs that I like on my Snapchat all the time without any meaning behind them, so I don’t know why he took that particular one personally. 

If anything, he’s aired me out before when I stopped talking to him last year, and he ended up making several negative TikTok videos that I know for a fact are 100% about me, and they’re still up a year later. I don’t think he knows that I know his TikTok profile, though.

[Coily]

it's rare to be friends with exes. Take it as a sign to push on.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Rosestar5000 said:

 he ended up making several negative TikTok videos that I know for a fact are 100% about me, and they’re still up a year later

It's great you're going to delete and block him.  You're not "gaslighting" him. It's just time to cut him off. He seems like a headache you don't need. 

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, Rosestar5000 said:

I wasn’t airing him out. I post songs that I like on my Snapchat all the time without any meaning behind them, so I don’t know why he took that particular one personally. 

Oh come on, unless you've been living under a rock for the past 20 years, you must know how powerful social media is.

And that what we post, specifically music videos, has significant meaning.  Music is very personal to many people and often reflects our own feelings and thoughts to a certain degree. 

Jmo of course but I suspect you posted it to get a reaction and you did!  Not the reaction you were hoping for but that's the risk we take when we play games like that - doing things to seek a reaction.

1 hour ago, Rosestar5000 said:

He ended up making several negative TikTok videos that I know for a fact are 100% about me.

I see.  So I guess you'd thought you'd try to even the score?  

Look, I'm not accusing you of anything necessarily however it's important to be aware of how our behavior will be appear to others, in this case him.

Please get honest with yourself, first and foremost.  I have found doing so is crucial towards healing and moving on, for real, not in a song.

 

[Jaunty]

7 hours ago, Rosestar5000 said:

Any advice on why he blocked me?

He's had enough of looking at your social media.  What you choose to share with all your followers is none of his concern.  You're broken up.  Not in each others' lives anymore.  That is healthy.

It would be healthy for you to stop posting stuff as passive, thinly veiled "messages" aimed at him (or at anyone for that matter) as well.