confused8023 Posted December 6, 2023 Author Share Posted December 6, 2023 None of my family and friends like him Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 On 12/1/2023 at 10:35 AM, confused8023 said: hes telling me he loves me im his everything and he wants us to live together when my son moves out... How old is your son? How is your relationship with his father? Please don't subject your son to this. Be grateful you don't live together. Please do not let this abusive manipulative possessive man in your house. You have friends and family and a job and coworkers. Your life is fine without this toxic man and his drama. Is he broke or making a lot less than you? Why would he move in? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 9 minutes ago, confused8023 said: None of my family and friends like him So you reach out to them for help and they all tell you they don't like him. You post on here and no one understands why you remain in this relationship. YOU can't even tell us why except to blame it on "attachment issues". No offense, but if everyone you ask tells you he's no good and it would be smart to leave him, why do you stubbornly insist on staying with him? Also consider what your child is learning about relationships. Yes, he is too aware of how bad things are. Children are intelligent and perceptive. You have 100% control over who you allow in your life. 2 Link to comment
confused8023 Posted December 6, 2023 Author Share Posted December 6, 2023 48 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How old is your son? How is your relationship with his father? Please don't subject your son to this. Be grateful you don't live together. Please do not let this abusive manipulative possessive man in your house. You have friends and family and a job and coworkers. Your life is fine without this toxic man and his drama. Is he broke or making a lot less than you? Why would he move in? Hes 20 now he's leaving home to buy his own place, he asked me to move in with him when my son leaves home but that would never happen, he doesnt work he claims job seekers I work long house and earn good money he always moans I'd rather spend time with my Co workers than him. I'm very independent always have been. Link to comment
confused8023 Posted December 6, 2023 Author Share Posted December 6, 2023 43 minutes ago, boltnrun said: So you reach out to them for help and they all tell you they don't like him. You post on here and no one understands why you remain in this relationship. YOU can't even tell us why except to blame it on "attachment issues". No offense, but if everyone you ask tells you he's no good and it would be smart to leave him, why do you stubbornly insist on staying with him? Also consider what your child is learning about relationships. Yes, he is too aware of how bad things are. Children are intelligent and perceptive. You have 100% control over who you allow in your life. I hear that you are right. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 6, 2023 Share Posted December 6, 2023 10 minutes ago, confused8023 said: he asked me to move in with him when my son leaves home but that would never happen, he doesnt work he claims job seekers I work long hours and earn good money. He's a golddigger. Please focus on your and your son's future and happiness. Please listen to your friends and family. You seem to have your life together with good people around you. Tell him it's not working out then delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Link to comment
confused8023 Posted December 13, 2023 Author Share Posted December 13, 2023 Thankyou for your advice everyone. I knew what I had got do it was just doing it. Update is I finished it a week ago I had enough of him accusing me of going with guys I work with or just anyone. I have been doing over time for extra money for xmas he kept going on about how I'd rather spend time at work with the guys then with him. He asked me to go out with him to this Christmas event and I didn't really want to because last time we went he ruined my night with his jelousy I never even looked at anyone. He told the reason why I wont go with him is because I had probly been with most of the men there and my past was there and he's opened his eyes and can see I have a secret life and I'm narsty...he said people have told him the same. Then he kept hanging up the phone on me when I was trying to talk to him and he would text me saying I'm busy I'm doing what u do. I just couldn't take it no more I know I've been 100% loyal to him but no matter what I say its not going to change anything he will always think same way although he has nothing to go on i feel emotionally drained how can someone tell u they love you one minute and the next call u every name under the sun and treat you so rubbish...it's been a week no contact and im keeping to it i know it will be for the best once i get through it...im going into next year with a fresh start. 1 Link to comment
Janeiac Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 On 12/1/2023 at 12:03 PM, confused8023 said: <snip> I'm not happy at all. You said it yourself. It's time to do something about being happy. Just stop with him. Tell him you are done-- do not give reasons or listen to any whining-- simply say you are not happy, and then delete his number, block him on social media and do not contact him again. After a while you'll have some clarity and can find somebody who does make you happy. Right now you are stopping that from happening. Link to comment
confused8023 Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 It's been 10 days no contact from him. Over Xmas nothing his mum messaged me saying she hasn't heard from me and that he told her we wasn't talking but she's not getting involved. I said nothing. I honestly can't be in a relationship with someone that does wrong and then doesn't communicate or aploigise when wrong and can ignore me days and weeks and I know that if I was to contact him he would go on like nothing ever happened but i wont do that. I always felt that blocking will look petty and childish its not like he's bothering me or messaging me. Also that it's defo done ive never blocked before but it's a new year and I need to be happy it's draining and I know I would have the same thing over and over again. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 3 minutes ago, confused8023 said: I always felt that blocking will look petty and childish To who? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 3 minutes ago, confused8023 said: . I always felt that blocking will look petty and childish its not like he's bothering me or messaging me. Please delete and block him and ALL his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Give yourself the gift of freedom and peace. Blocking is no more "childish" than having a spam filter, locking your car or having a house security system. It keeps undesirables out. Link to comment
confused8023 Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 16 minutes ago, boltnrun said: To who? Well that's what him and his family with think..it will make me look bad and I'm not like that...I have always got on with his family quite well...I think im just too nice lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 27 minutes ago, confused8023 said: Well that's what him and his family with think..it will make me look bad and I'm not like that...I have always got on with his family quite well...I think im just too nice lol Too nice or too passive? Link to comment
confused8023 Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 16 minutes ago, Batya33 said: Too nice or too passive? That too. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 2 hours ago, confused8023 said: Well that's what him and his family with think..it will make me look bad and I'm not like that...I have always got on with his family quite well...I think im just too nice lol But it doesn't make sense to prioritize what he or his family thinks of you. He apparently doesn't care what YOU think of HIM. So why put any care into trying to appear a certain way to him? I also don't get why blocking "looks bad". Has he made any attempts to contact you? Link to comment
confused8023 Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 1 minute ago, boltnrun said: But it doesn't make sense to prioritize what he or his family thinks of you. He apparently doesn't care what YOU think of HIM. So why put any care into trying to appear a certain way to him? I also don't get why blocking "looks bad". Has he made any attempts to contact you? No he hasn't its been 10 days now... Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Just now, confused8023 said: No he hasn't its been 10 days now... Apparently he isn't at all concerned with how he "looks" to you. So why care about how you "look" to him? Link to comment
confused8023 Posted January 2 Author Share Posted January 2 2 hours ago, boltnrun said: Apparently he isn't at all concerned with how he "looks" to you. So why care about how you "look" to him? I know I cant be like that tho...but blocking him is the only way I can move on and show him im not putting up with his disrespect no more and also will stop me keep looking at his last seen knowing he's not talking to me. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 2 minutes ago, confused8023 said: I know I cant be like that tho...but blocking him is the only way I can move on and show him im not putting up with his disrespect no more and also will stop me keep looking at his last seen knowing he's not talking to me. Yep, don't give him another chance to disrespect you and treat you like you're not important. Link to comment
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