Problem with a girl who behaved strangely in the past

[Joseph Wake]

Hello everyone!

First, english is not my mother language so please forgive me if I am not correct in everything. I write you a story which has started about 7 years ago. I was a student at a University with medical studies. I was in college/dorm. My roommate came from another neighbour country. We became friends. He told me that next year a girl will join with us because she had a passive year. He told that she is very kind and they are good friends. Oh OK I told him. Then next year she joined. She was clever, and very kind, we started to talk it was good times.

Then after 2-3 months she started to teasing me with words or with physical things (for example she poked my armpit with her fingers). At first I thought it is just joking and she is just want to be funny. With time these things have become more common. (I almost forget to tell you she had a boyfriend) So I told her that please stop these things beacuse it is too much for me now. She didn’t care and she became angrier. I told my rommate how she behaves with me. He told me that yeah she has a strong personality. Ok I accepted but she teased me more. I started to make a distance not to tease me. It was useful for 2 months. But then she continued to tease me.

One day during a lecture she sat next to me and we talked. She told me she likes the girl on top position. I said OK I see. Then I write my notes while she grabbed a little knife from her bag and put i ton my neck! I noticed this and started to fight with her. I succesfully reached that put that knife away from me. Then I asked her why she did it. She told me she was curious the feeling to do this. I was angry at her I told her to stop to intimidate me. She told me that she will leave me in peace. For a couple of months she left me in peace. After that during a lecture we started to talk again. I told her that she is mentally ill because of these things she committed. Then I told her an example the movie „Gone Girl” from 2014. She then told me that when I least expect it in the future she will come back to my life and she will be sexually agressive with me or something like that. I don’t know exactly because I interrupted her and told her that enough this is bull***. She then stayed silent.

After a couple of months during an english lecture. One of my classmate asked the teacher of the meaning of the word „threatining” I read something else so I barely noticed. I just had a strange feeling and I looked up and I saw that she started to stop to stare me but out of the corner of her eye she noticed that I looked up at her. Then she smiled wickedly and I knew what she mean. She threatened me earlier. I thought she forgot this talking because I forgot, but not she remembered me.

After we graduated and we went our separate ways. During this time I also made a friendship with a third person with a woman who was an „old” student classmate and we are still friends. In the end of the University times she saw that I started to make a friendship with this woman. Since then she sometimes talks with her beacuse this woman told me they write messages sometimes. It is trange to me but maybe I am the paranoid. Since then she has a new boyfriend and their relationship looks serious I don’t know I just saw some facebook pictures. They are not married or no kids but it is about a 4 years old relationship. I had two girlfriends since then. Now I don’t have a girlfriend. Now I need to move away to that city where she works beacuse I will work in that city too. Should I worry about her threat or not? Life is strange sometimes.

Thank you in advance for your help!

[Batya33]

I think living in the same city is ok as long as she doesn't know where you live or work and  there is no contact. I would have reported her threats and violence but it sounds like it was quite awhile ago. Just stay away. I'm sorry you experienced that.

[Wiseman2]

33 minutes ago, Joseph Wake said:

  Now I don’t have a girlfriend. Now I need to move away to that city where she works beacuse I will work in that city too. 

Good luck with your new job and city. Find a nice apartment and make friends. Try to join some groups and clubs, volunteer, get involved in sports and fitness take some classes and courses. Get involved with the local people and make new friends.

Please delete and block her and anyone connected to her from all your social media and messaging apps. There's no reason to monitor her or worry about this person. She seems like a weirdo.

[MissCanuck]

When was the last time you had any direct contact with her? 

[Joseph Wake]

22 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

When was the last time you had any direct contact with her? 

Last time I met with her in 2018. Me and the woman who is my friend needed to go where she worked because of infos of some patients. I mentioned we were in medical studies. She saw that time I am a friend of this woman. Then she moved to another city where the jobs are better. And I need to go to that city. So since then I know that sometimes they chat because that girl writes to that woman. That woman told me when we spoke about her. I told that woman that our relationship was not good. She also told that she is spoiled by her parents because she is an only child. But anyway sometimes they chat.

[Batya33]

Make sure your mutual acquaintances doesn’t reveal personal information about you. And you stop speaking about her. 

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Joseph Wake said:

Last time I met with her in 2018.

So when did this happen?:

9 hours ago, Joseph Wake said:

She threatened me earlier

I am trying to understand if this woman has threatened you any time recently, as she seems to have long since moved with her life. I am also wondering if you have kept her on your social media all this time? 

[Joseph Wake]

37 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

So when did this happen?:

I am trying to understand if this woman has threatened you any time recently, as she seems to have long since moved with her life. I am also wondering if you have kept her on your social media all this time? 

She threatened me 6 years ago and the last time I met her was 5 years ago but she sometimes chat with one of my best friend the woman I mentioned. She made her facebook private so now we are not friends on facebook. She is in a relationship with a man. They are together but they are not married and no kids at the moment. I don't have any more info of her. I hope this help you.

[MissCanuck]

With the added information, I don't think this woman poses any real threat to you anymore. 

My guess is that she hasn't thought about you for the last several years, given that you have not had any contact with her and she has been in a relationship for a while now. 

You can ask your mutual friend not to mention you when she talks to her, but my assumption is that the young woman in question is indifferent towards you now. 

[Joseph Wake]

Just now, MissCanuck said:

With the added information, I don't think this woman poses any real threat to you anymore. 

My guess is that she hasn't thought about you for the last several years, given that you have not had any contact with her and she has been in a relationship for a while now. 

You can ask your mutual friend not to mention you when she talks to her, but my assumption is that the young woman in question is indifferent towards you now. 

Super good news! Thank you!