2 year relationship over

[boltnrun]

There are enough things in life that will get you down or make you feel upset or anxious. There's no need to do those things to yourself.

Be your own best friend. Decide you're only going to do things that are uplifting and positive. Be around positive people. Shut down anyone who tries to tell you gossip about your ex. Be active and involved with family and friends. Accept that you will sometimes think about your ex (because of course you will) and don't beat yourself up about it. Just allow the thought to happen and then dismiss it.

I think you'll be fine. Just give it time. 

[outerspacedude]

So I had a message off her last night ( clearly she was out drinking )

 

“Not gonna lie, it kinda hurt to see you delete me on all social media…..are you ok? Just wanted to check in a little bit…?”

 

it’s like wow! She’s has ignored me for like 13 days. Added guys on insta that caused us issues in our relationship and she try’s telling me she’s hurt.

deleted the message soon as. I also had some money sent through at like 5 in the morning. It was an amount that doesnt come close to what she owes…and in the title she used her pet name For me. Talk about a head f**k

[boltnrun]

I have an ex who wants every woman he's ever been involved with to be hung up on him for the rest of their lives. HE can move on and date and sleep with whoever he wants, but his exes are supposed to cry over him forever 🙄 His ego can't bear the thought of someone getting over him. So every so often he sends a text telling this or that ex he's "thinking about" them. Just an attempt to keep them pining over him.

So I'm guessing her ego can't stand the thought of you not crying over her for the rest of your life. 

Since you deleted her from your social media, why not block her from contacting you? I presume she doesn't have to message you to send the money she owes (unless it's through Zelle or something). 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, outerspacedude said:

. I also had some money sent through at like 5 in the morning. It was an amount that doesnt come close to what she owes…

Please send her one last definitive text about the money owed and the due date. Then delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Please don't do this to yourself, this friendzone thing she's trying to pull is wasting your time and mental energy.

[outerspacedude]

On 9/15/2023 at 1:55 PM, boltnrun said:

Since you deleted her from your social media, why not block her from contacting you? I presume she doesn't have to message you to send the money she owes (unless it's through Zelle or something). 

Once I have the remaining money I will block her.

im assuming she was just extremely drunk as I’ve not had a message off her since - and as I didn’t reply I highly doubt I will have any more messages from her

[outerspacedude]

So I received some money from her - it was not what I was expecting. Ive realised today instead of sending me the full amount...she has sent me her half of the monthly fee.....so its made me think is she planning on paying me her half each month for the next year?

I cant cancel the membership as per the T&C.

What Im going to do is ask my sister for her mobile number - send her a message simply asking for her to just pay me the full amount.

Frustrating to say the least - but the principle and the respect of not giving me the money has annoyed me.
Im not happy to pay for her, and sending me money each month is ridiculous. I will have to be the grown up here and message her asking her to just send me the full amount. Then we dont have to speak ever again

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, outerspacedude said:

  ask my sister for her mobile number - send her a message simply asking for her to just pay me the full amount.

Definitely a good idea to ask for the money in writing. Why would your sister get involved? 

[outerspacedude]

My sister still has her number I do not.

Im trying this from a different angle, Im trying to change the name on the membership to my sister...MY sister is happy to use the membership card going forward so hopefully they can cancel my exs and just change the name and re-issue a new card.

 

If they can I dont need to contact my ex 🙂

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, outerspacedude said:

I cant cancel the membership as per the T&C.

If you can transfer the membership, great. However you'll have to contact the company about that.

[outerspacedude]

I still dont understand why she reach out last week for saying

 

Not gonna lie, it kinda hurt to see you delete me on all social media…..are you ok? Just wanted to check in a little bit…?”

 

Are people really that way inclined that they need to stroke their egos? I just dont understand the thought process.
HAs anyone had similar done to them? or been the ones to send these kinda messages? If so why?

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, outerspacedude said:

Not gonna lie, it kinda hurt to see you delete me on all social media…..are you ok? Just wanted to check in a little bit…?”

She was drunk and thinks you ended as "friends" for some reason. Try to figure out what to do about the money and membership so you can sever ties and get this over with. You seem to be hoping she's changing her mind?

For whatever reason she thinks you're pals and that for whatever reason you're not really pursuing this money thing vigorously. Why haven't you sent her a written notice to pay in full? 

[MissCanuck]

14 minutes ago, outerspacedude said:

I still dont understand why she reach out last week for saying

Real questionn for you to reflect on: why do you need to understand it?

It doesn't change the bottom line, right? She still chose to end it and hasn't wavered on that. So while it might satisfy some curiosity to hear others speculate, it currently isn't doing anything but taking up needless emotional energy. 

[outerspacedude]

But to understand situations and move forward - having an understanding, or at least a different view can sometimes help.

My mind works different to others. Peoples experiences differ from mine and might have been through similar..

[MissCanuck]

23 minutes ago, outerspacedude said:

But to understand situations and move forward - having an understanding, or at least a different view can sometimes help.

How would knowing the answer help you more forward here? 

My point is that unless you're hoping her reaching out with a drunken, ego-bruisey message meant something more, you're wasting your energy trying to figure out why she did so. 

[boltnrun]

My ex messaged me after he'd unceremoniously dumped me for someone else. I asked him "why" he'd messaged me and he said "I was hammied. Just ignore it." Knowing that info did nothing to "help" me "move forward". Everything was exactly the same. We were still broken up.