The girl I've dating might be seeing other guys, Am I overthinking?

[DavidStone]

I've been dating this Christian girl (I am catholic) for a few weeks, we had an amazing connection from the start. I've never felt this strong about someone in years, and she told me she feels the same way, we've been hanging every week. Anyways last week, She took me out for my BDay, we had an amazing time, then I told her we should see each other again on sunday. I was getting ready to ask her to be my GF, I even bought her a heart gold necklace. I text her the day before to ask her the plan for sunday. She never texted me back, so I got a bit upset hurt due to the circumstances. I asked her what was going on then she said she needed a break to focus on her spirituality. We've been texting but she seems more distant. I talked to her last night and we had a great conversation, she told me she doesnt know what she wants and that she wished I was more spiritual or aligned with her beliefs. I told her I would be very supportive whatever decision she makes. I have a strong feeling she is seeing or talking to other guys, she never said we should be only friends because I think she doesnt want me to get hurt. Is it best to let it go and just be friends? How do you become friends with someone you love? If she had doubts about me, I dont wanna be in that position because it makes me feel I am not good enough. Normally we hang out on the weekends, if she doesnt hit me up this weekend to hang does that mean she is not longer interested? Do I need to be more distant? Please help

[Wiseman2]

29 minutes ago, Leonardo1986 said:

 I asked her what was going on then she said she needed a break to focus on her spirituality.  she doesnt know what she wants and that she wished I was more spiritual or aligned with her beliefs

Sorry this happened.  How long were you dating? How old is she? How did you meet?

Unfortunately this is a breakup. Perhaps she feels pressured to only date people from her church/faith. 

Yes, step back and don't try to be friends. 

[MissCanuck]

31 minutes ago, Leonardo1986 said:

Is it best to let it go and just be friends?

No. It's best to let it go and not try to be friends. 

It's going to hurt you too much to be friends with her when you want more. It sounds as though she is trying to let you down gently, but her interest just isn't where yours is. That does not mean you aren't good enough. It simply means you are not the right match for each other. 

32 minutes ago, Leonardo1986 said:

How do you become friends with someone you love?

With due respect, you have only been dating a few weeks. It appears as though you are over-invested, becasue truly, love takes a lot longer than that to develop. I don't doubt you have feelings for her but I think you may confusing infatuation with love. 

It's going to be best to cut contact with her. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Move on

She explained her thoughts 

[Kwothe28]

3 hours ago, Leonardo1986 said:

she told me she doesnt know what she wants and that she wished I was more spiritual or aligned with her beliefs.

So, what is the problem here? She is probably fully religious, you are just a nominal one. Your values and beliefs dont really align like that. But instead of taking it like that, you decided that she is dating other guys. I mean she might, but that doesnt make her explenation any less believable. You are not aligned with her beliefs, she wants somebody who is.

[DavidStone]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened.  How long were you dating? How old is she? How did you meet?

Unfortunately this is a breakup. Perhaps she feels pressured to only date people from her church/faith. 

Yes, step back and don't try to be friends. 

Hey Thank you for you response. We've seen each other for the last 2 months. We meet thru Uber since she was one of my passengers. She is 27, I am 35. Yes unfortunately, you are right. I think its the best thing to do. I wish her the best and I wish with all my heart we could be friends but I think it will hurt too much sooner or later.

[DavidStone]

1 hour ago, shouldhavelearned said:

Move on

She explained her thoughts 

Yes, I think that is the best thing to do. Any thoughts on how to slowly cut her off without being hurtful? Just stop responding?

[SooSad33]

4 hours ago, DavidStone said:

I've been dating this Christian girl (I am catholic) for a few weeks, we had an amazing connection from the start. I've never felt this strong about someone in years, and she told me she feels the same way, we've been hanging every week. Anyways last week, She took me out for my BDay, we had an amazing time, then I told her we should see each other again on sunday. I was getting ready to ask her to be my GF, I even bought her a heart gold necklace.

WHY are you already to hand some girl you've know for a few weeks, a gold heart necklace?? 😮 .  You just don't do that!  No way, not so fast.  That can end up making her more uneasy.

And as for you saying the 'L' word.  Nah, it's not love.  That develops over time.  Right now it's lust.   That's it!  

Slow it all down!  Give her some space and don't lost yourself in all of this.  If she's wanting some time on her own for the time being, do your own thing.  Have friends?

 

4 hours ago, DavidStone said:

I asked her what was going on then she said she needed a break to focus on her spirituality. We've been texting but she seems more distant. I talked to her last night and we had a great conversation, she told me she doesnt know what she wants and that she wished I was more spiritual or aligned with her beliefs.

It sounds like she may just be questioning the whole thing, with her response.

Is best to lay low and don't be in her face with expectations.  

 

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, DavidStone said:

Any thoughts on how to slowly cut her off without being hurtful? Just stop responding?

That will be fine, yes. 

My guess is that she is not going to be reaching out very often anyway from now on.

[Andrina]

Wow, I thought you'd be about 20 with no dating experience when I first read this. Someone your age should know that love takes a lot longer to truly grow, and buying jewelry at this early stage is too much. Perhaps your intensity at this early stage is too concerning for a woman. She wants you to fade away, so do so. Read some articles on successful dating practices.

[DavidStone]

Hi, thank you so much for your response. Not being defensive here but I want to point out a few things. You might be partially right. Love might take longer in some cultures. But the girl and I are of latino culture,  so the intensity is a bit different. Also we are both conservative Christians, but she is  christian, I am catholic. And as far as jewelry goes, latin girls depending which country, appreciate gifts at the beginning of a relationship like asking them to be exclusive (if you do that in the US it would be weird I guess lol. But regardless of these things, I gotta admit I might of been a bit intense but not to the point for her cutting me out. I think the main reason it did not work out are differences in faith and values.

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, DavidStone said:

. I think the main reason it did not work out are differences in faith and values.

Agree. This is what she stated and it seems true. At least she was honest fairly early on about her faith. So while it's disappointing, she didn't want to lead you on.