Complicated but interesting situation. You haven’t heard this one before, I promise!

[YeahWhatever420]

Hi. First off, thanks for clicking. This is a pretty complicated story so I will try to keep it concise. I promise you haven’t heard one quite like this before. Here we go:

So, I’m a trucker. As a trucker, I was getting kind of lonely on the road and started calling a phonesex line (I know, I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it, but we do what we gotta do on the road and a lot of places don’t have the best data signal).

Anyway, a new operator popped up about a year ago on the site that I use. Most of the operators you can tell have been doing it for a while, they sound older and rehearsed. This one really sounded fresh and has a super sweet voice. So she was my go-to.

The first six months, it was all sex talk. However, one night in a blizzard, I called her just for conversation and it was GREAT. Turns out we share a lot of pretty obscure interests in common. She told me that where she is from a lot people don’t share her interests and it’s difficult for her to find people to talk to and that’s why she does her work (she spends about twelve hours a day logged on). I call her about once every two weeks, conversations keep going well, a couple times she sends me free call packages because she has unfinished thoughts. We exchange (anonymous) email addresses to message off-site. I send her a d*ck pic, she sends me one of her t*ts (more on this later).

In fact, I cancelled my membership on the phonesex website and let her know that in one of our emails. She told me that that’s okay because she enjoys talking to me and would like to keep chatting.

Here’s where it get interesting:

In our conversations, she had mentioned her first a couple of times, the town she lives in (including a screenshot of her location) and had claimed that the pictures she posts and the one she sent me of her breasts are authentic. I didn’t believe the photos or the first name or location she gave me were real because why would they be? That would seem kind of compromising when talking to a bunch of horny lonely men.

Well, during one call she sends me a screen shot of her Instagram. It’s public and shows her followers. I know this is going to sound really bad on my part, but I did some detective work, okay? And I was able to find it all out.

It was all true: name, photos, location, everything.

So, my question: why would she give me this information? Was she just being naive being new to phonesex? Did she want me to look her up for some reason?

Well, I chose to believe option #2. I tell her I was able to look her up with the information she gave me, and that she should consider being more cautious because I don’t know how many guys she’s as loose-lipped with, but there are crazies out there and she should watch out. She responds with a lengthy email with some story that I don’t really believe but she said she takes no offense to me looking her up.

I follow up by telling her I will be in her town in two days and I’d like to take her out for coffee and include a selfie. A day goes by and she responds back that she has plans with friends but she’d like to meet for coffee next time I’m in town and says I have nice eyes.

We exchange messenger app usernames. She texts me hoping I made it out of her state safely because there’s a storm coming. I tell her I did. She sends me a video of the storm and her talking about it. I send her a video of a song that we joked about. Lots of LOLs and emojis. Good vibes.

Two days go by and I send a short tiktok vid she would find funny. She gave an LOL emoji. That was three days ago and we have not messaged since then. So, my question: what do you guys think?

Does she genuinely like me? She told me she doesn’t date guys in her are because she can’t connect with any of them (she and I seemed to hit it off). And she didn’t freak when I told her I looked her up. 

Or is this some kind of scheme? Does she just like being chased? Does she plan to blackmail me for our phonesex conversations? Does she think I might return as a paying customer so she’s just stringing me along?

Any other thoughts on what move I should make next? I wanted to give her space after the whole revelation and she usually charges for conversation so I’m hesitant to text or call her too much.

Hope you found this story interesting at least lol.

Btw, before anybody gets the wrong idea: I am an attractive guy. I’m no incel. She is a bigger girl but I don’t care. I really like her for who she is (very smart, very sweet). I kind of thought that’s why she wanted me to look her up: so I would know that going into it.

[Batya33]

She probably changed her mind about meeting you as for whatever reason it could hurt her livelihood/reputation. 

[boltnrun]

She does this for money. It's her job.

She can clearly see you would be easy to get more money out of. After all, you're obviously very into talking to her.

Also, who are you more likely to give a bigger tip to, the server guy at a restaurant who doesn't smile and just puts your food down in front of you, or the cute young woman who smiles and gives great service and engages you in conversation?

Don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only one she's courting like this. 

[Wiseman2]

20 minutes ago, Doomzkool said:

Any other thoughts on what move I should make next? I wanted to give her space after the whole revelation and she usually charges for conversation so I’m hesitant to text or call her too much.

Sex workers are offering all sorts of things from talk to video to in person sex and with new twists like the "girlfriend experience".  That's their job.

Even though you researched her anyone could pose as anybody who has a social media account. Make sure you don't reveal too much about yourself. The last thing you want is being lured into a motel or place for a couple guys to rob you.

[Batya33]

Also I don't think this is complicated or atypical.  All day every day people have the notion that online typing or talking with a stranger gives them relevant information about who the person is and when it's through a sex site it's typical I'm sure for the sex worker to be hit on to meet in person.  

[kehratha]

You seem to be a  nice and smart guy, OP. At least, this is the vibe I get.

But, I don't think this is going to be a Cinderella story.

I would let this one go.

Take care!

[YeahWhatever420]

26 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sex workers are offering all sorts of things from talk to video to in person sex and with new twists like the "girlfriend experience".  That's their job.

Even though you researched her anyone could pose as anybody who has a social media account. Make sure you don't reveal too much about yourself. The last thing you want is being lured into a motel or place for a couple guys to rob you.

Good advice. She did mention that another caller had looked her up and stalked her but seemed nonchalant about it. For sure I would only meet in a public place. She’s very articulate, great grammar and punctuation, etc, so I don’t believe she’s just some run-of-the-mill sex worker or has Pooky and Rayray waiting to jump me. Could be wrong.

[YeahWhatever420]

37 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

She does this for money. It's her job.

She can clearly see you would be easy to get more money out of. After all, you're obviously very into talking to her.

Also, who are you more likely to give a bigger tip to, the server guy at a restaurant who doesn't smile and just puts your food down in front of you, or the cute young woman who smiles and gives great service and engages you in conversation?

Don't make the mistake of thinking you're the only one she's courting like this. 

That would make sense, but she keeps talking to me even though I told her I’m not a paying customer anymore. The last time I paid for a call was a month ago, and we’ve been talking a lot off-site since then.

[Batya33]

Hmmm. I wouldn’t assume there is a run of the mill sex worked as far as level of intelligence and articulateness anymore than you’re some sort of run of the mill person who typically hits on sex workers. I imagine all sorts of people choose to do sex work and certain people do it out of desperation - financially I mean. And just because she speaks well doesn’t mean she’d be safe for you to meet. 

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Doomzkool said:

That would make sense, but she keeps talking to me even though I told her I’m not a paying customer anymore. The last time I paid for a call was a month ago, and we’ve been talking a lot off-site since then.

She’s probably done the number crunching and figures even though she’s chatting for free if you were an easy mark she’d hit you up for $$$$ when you met in person. Likely she simply found someone more convenient to meet and perhaps better chance of $$$$

[boltnrun]

At some point she's going to need rent money or her kid or her mother needs a medical procedure or she needs "tuition money".

And your situation isn't that unique. On this forum we've seen the exact same thing except it was a stripper at the strip club or the barista at the coffee house or the server at the "breastaurant" (new term for me there!) who the guy is sure "likes" him. It's their job to seem engaging and be attractive. It's how they make their money.

[Kwothe28]

Quote

You haven’t heard this one before, I promise!

Phone sex schemes are probably as old as phones. So, we have heard of it. Admittedly, they usually use social networks or dating sites now. As nobody uses phones to call anymore lol

There was a man at "90 Days Fiance" show. He found some Ukranian woman online. She swindled him for a lot of money. Never even met him once. He tried to meet her 4 times. All 4 times she bailed on him with various excuses. They agree to see each other and she just never shows up. I really felt sory for the guy. Though after first time she bailed on him, he should have realised he was being swindled there.

Your story reminds me on his. You never saw that woman in person. Heck you didnt even confirmed her identity with video call. Do you know how easy it is to simulate a voice today? There are various clips on youtube where Biden, Trump, Obama and Shapiro play Magic The Gathering. All with authentic voices. That is how easy it is today to simulate somebody voice. And yet you believe that woman is real. The power of "simping" never ceases to amaze me lol

I wouldnt meet her in person. Ever. The risk is huge that you would be swindled out of money in some way even if she is real(which I sincerely doubt). Heck even in my country(where dating apps are still not huge as in some other places) there are cases of some poor schmucks arranging a date or even sex with some girl they found online. And where her "husband" barges in, beats the schmuck and takes his money. So no, you are not that unique as you think. And it would be wise to try not to be a part of those stories.

[YeahWhatever420]

25 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Phone sex schemes are probably as old as phones. So, we have heard of it. Admittedly, they usually use social networks or dating sites now. As nobody uses phones to call anymore lol

There was a man at "90 Days Fiance" show. He found some Ukranian woman online. She swindled him for a lot of money. Never even met him once. He tried to meet her 4 times. All 4 times she bailed on him with various excuses. They agree to see each other and she just never shows up. I really felt sory for the guy. Though after first time she bailed on him, he should have realised he was being swindled there.

Your story reminds me on his. You never saw that woman in person. Heck you didnt even confirmed her identity with video call. Do you know how easy it is to simulate a voice today? There are various clips on youtube where Biden, Trump, Obama and Shapiro play Magic The Gathering. All with authentic voices. That is how easy it is today to simulate somebody voice. And yet you believe that woman is real. The power of "simping" never ceases to amaze me lol

I wouldnt meet her in person. Ever. The risk is huge that you would be swindled out of money in some way even if she is real(which I sincerely doubt). Heck even in my country(where dating apps are still not huge as in some other places) there are cases of some poor schmucks arranging a date or even sex with some girl they found online. And where her "husband" barges in, beats the schmuck and takes his money. So no, you are not that unique as you think. And it would be wise to try not to be a part of those 

[YeahWhatever420]

Thank you everybody for the feedback so far. The general consensus seems to be that this is some kind of scam. I appreciate everybody weighing in but there may have been some confusion.

I have verified her identity, using websites like Spokeo and government websites. A couple videos on her Instagram and one she sent me confirms that really is her voice. So I know she’s a real person.

I would also think that if she was a scam artist, the fact I told her I looked her up would’ve made her pull the scam and I would’ve never heard from her again. Like “he knows all my info, I’ll leave this one alone, on to the the next”.

That and she never asked me for any of my private information. I think if this was some kind of blackmail operation, she could have done all of that through email rather than agree to meet in person. Also, if she had done this enough times before, I think she would’ve been reported to the website she works for.

As for luring me to some place for a couple guys to jump me: she definitely doesn’t sound like that type. She is intelligent and not some rough street girl. If she is a scammer, that is not her style. Trust me.

I know, I am lonely and really like what this girl has told me, so I am susceptible to being scammed. No doubt about that. However, does that necessarily mean this is a scam? Is it entirely impossible that a phonesex operator who is also single and lonely did just find a guy with whom she shares common interests and finds attractive?

How would you go about verifying or protecting yourselves in the case that you do decide to meet her?

Thank you.

[boltnrun]

I didn't say she was a scammer or was going to have you beat up and robbed. I think she's going to have some kind of emergency or sob story where she needs money. And no, you are absolutely not the only one she's being "nice" to.

I wouldn't ever get into this kind of situation. There are plenty of ways to meet women, especially since you say you're an attractive guy. 

[Batya33]

I would never ever take this risk in this situation. There is no way to verify because a sex worker who is willing to meet you in person is motivated by something other than meeting you to actually go on dates with you.  Not because she is a bad person but because it is highly unlikely that out of all the men who pay for her services she's going to choose you as the needle in a haystack she actually wants to properly date.  Balance that against the risks that your verification is quite flawed/faulty.  She doesn't have to be a "street girl" as you put it in order to have you part with your $$$.  In fact her intelligence may help her get you to part with even more.  

[smackie9]

if she keeps cancelling on meeting, then it's never gonna happen. For future reference...don't send pictures of yourself or your body parts. That stuff can easily be exploited. She could be selling your images to overseas scammers to use on older lonely ladies, and exploit them out of thousands of dollars. 

[LootieTootie]

 Stop communicating with her until you've actually meet. You don't want to get emotionally invested in someone you haven't met in person. Sometimes the person on the other side of the line/screen is totally different from the person in real life. Not saying she's a catfish but she may be the person she say she is, but could be very different in reality due to insecurities when eyes are actually on her.

if you're lonely, maybe pick another career. Or if you just need to hear someone talk, listen to podcasts. At least you won't end up sending nudes to podcasters.

[gamon]

She's totally playing you man.

It's like giving a customer a free drink at a bar or free tokens or even a complimentary room at a casino.

It's all about keeping you on the hook so you'll spend more money.

Maybe it's not a "scam" per say but you're definitely not going to get free sex out of this deal.

You would see it if you weren't in the midst of it, had you read this on someone else's post you'd be thinking "how can he fall for that?".

Now, that much being said, sure there's always a chance that me and the other naysayers on here are wrong and this sex worker sees something in you that she hasn't seen in a zillion other guys just from chatting on the phone and exchanging some genitalia pictures. But it's rather unlikely.

You're going to go meet her if you've got the chance, no matter what anyone here tells you, and I don't blame you. Don't go into the meetup with anything in your pocket you can't afford to lose, and expect to come out of it with an STD if you aren't careful.

 

 

[boltnrun]

I used to go to the bar across the street several times a week. The bartender got to know me and started giving me free drinks and even gave me a free bottle of champagne on New Year's Eve. He didn't want to date me even though we had many, many conversations about highly personal topics (however I never sent him boobie pics and he never send me junk pics). He was just being good at his job. Some women assumed he was interested in them. One of them even took to waiting outside the bar for him at quitting time. He told me he had a heck of a time getting her to stop pursuing him.

Being friendly and engaging is part of her job. Apparently she's very good at it given you (and likely many others) are thinking she wants to date you.

If you do end up meeting her in person don't bring any credit or debit cards, your ID or any cash you can't afford to lose. DO bring condoms. And use them. 

[Unreasonable]

How could she blackmail you about phone sex? Are you married? 🤨  

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Unreasonable said:

How could she blackmail you about phone sex? Are you married? 🤨  

She would threaten to put his photos on websites, etc.  since he texted them

As he wrote " I send her a d*ck pic, she sends me one of her t*ts (more on this later)."

[Unreasonable]

14 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

She would threaten to put his photos on websites, etc.  since he texted them

As he wrote " I send her a d*ck pic, she sends me one of her t*ts (more on this later)."

Huh.  Well I wouldn't worry about that too much.  Blackmail is illegal and I think he knows enough about her real identity her to nail her if she tries.  Not to mention I don't think 99% of people would give a hoot unless he was married.

[Batya33]

8 minutes ago, Unreasonable said:

Huh.  Well I wouldn't worry about that too much.  Blackmail is illegal and I think he knows enough about her real identity her to nail her if she tries.  Not to mention I don't think 99% of people would give a hoot unless he was married.

I completely disagree and respect your opinion.

[gamon]

38 minutes ago, Unreasonable said:

Huh.  Well I wouldn't worry about that too much.

Agreed. Although I think it's unnecessary to be sending such pictures, if it's his thing, then why not. If he's not in a relationship then who cares, even on the extremely off chance this is a blackmail attempt. And It's not like he'd lose his job over it. Especially if it's not a full body pic- no way to um.. make the connection there.