First Date

[Stephaniee]

Hello 

There is a guy I met at my language course. He is very kind and sweet, we got close and started talking alot. One day he told me that he had a crush on me and asked me out. I agreed and we had a good first date but he leaned for a kiss and I told him that it was too soon for me. I kinda ended the date after that. The next day I explained the situation to him and he seemed to understand. 

Now we are flirting and he is complimenting me alot  and I do the same. But he didn't ask me for a second date. After 2 weeks I gave him through text that I like a certain restaurant. He seemed to understand and the next day he said would you like to go with me, I said of course. but he didn't mention  it again.

Though I never said that I like him, but I showed him many signs that I do. He is not texting me as often as before.but when we see each other we talk alot (He tells me that he gets very tired when he returns home)

What do you advise me to do ?

(this is the first time that someone shows interest in me, so I don't know what to do.)

 

[spinstermanquee]

If he wanted a second date he would have made one.  I'd cool it with the texts because that's not dating or even any proof of interest.  Just assume he is not available any more or he is dating someone else.  Don't keep flirting or friendzone yourself.  HE doesn't *deserve* your company or flattery since you are not dating.

YOU *deserve* a fully interested person who will make plans for the second date either during or shortly after the first one, not leave you dangling.

[Coily]

Have you asked him for a date at this restaurant? It's okay to do so.

My guess is that he's lost interest. It started with ending the date after the no to kissing, not saying no itself. Then it taking 2 weeks for there to be mention of wanting another date. What it boils down to is you both have a communication hang up, and I think this window is rapidly closing I am sorry to say.

 

[Cherylyn]

He has since moved on.  He's cool towards you.  Get his message and move on, too. 

[smackie9]

It could be many reasons, but what is happening most likely is that he's got other options.

He's looking for someone that will hop into the sac with him pretty quick is my view. 

[catfeeder]

12 hours ago, Stephaniee said:

What do you advise me to do ?

I'd offer to reciprocate the first date by asking him to the restaurant you've already raised. Offer him a date and time to either pick him up or meet him there.

If the answer is no, then you can stop wondering about him. If it's yes, but the timing is bad, then let him raise another date and time. If he doesn't then it's really a cowardly no.

If it's a yes, then great!

He might just need this level of encouragement from you after what he may have perceived as a red light from you. 

[Wiseman2]

13 hours ago, Stephaniee said:

Now we are flirting and he is complimenting me alot  and I do the same. But he didn't ask me for a second date. After 2 weeks I gave him through text that I like a certain restaurant. 

Telling him about a restaurant is not inviting him out. Try to keep things simple in the beginning. 

It's confusing in fact, because it seems like you were hinting that he should take you out for dinner again even after you rebuffed his attempt at a simple goodnight kiss. Which many men could view as lack of interest or friendzone. 

Try to be clear with your intentions and interest.  Don't 'hint' if someone's not asking you out. Either step back or invite them to something simple. Unfortunately being coy is simply confusing.  Hinting at places you like is not working for you.