How can men have sex and not feel anything?

[CowgirlFromHell]

I just have a really simply and honest question. How can a guy have sex with a girl repeatedly and not form any kind of emotional attachment? What is it that keeps them from becoming attached to a girl?

[passions1]

I've heard of both females & males who have had sex with other people just for the physical without any attachments emotionally.

 

Some people are just built with the ability to separate sex as just purely a physical act & hold their emotions in other separate compartments.

 

Usually the person who they sleep with will be someone is attractive or decent enought to sleep with, but not someone they can picture themselves to be seriously connected emotionally, intellectually or spiritually. So in the meantime, they can sleep with that someone, until they meet someone who they consider special & drop that sex partner for that person.

 

That's why if I recommend to people to take it slow when getting to know someone before doing anything really physical or sexual no matter how attractive the person is if you really respect that person. Besides there is no rush to sleep with a person, if a guy really likes a girl, he can be willing to be patient. Since the girl will challenge him in other aspects of life that is outside the bedroom.

[RayKay]

Seperating sex from emotion is not exclusive to males....females can do the same thing.

 

In most cases it is they are either unable to connect any further than sex (for example sleeping together may be fun, but there is little mental connection there, or that person is not "right" for them otherwise to be emotionally attached) or unwanting to (they have made decision to remain single, focus on career and don't have time to build further emotional connections.

 

In both cases, he sex partner fills in the gaps before the right person, or the next person comes by, or the job becomes too demanding and so on, or the sex partner becomes too demanding on them.

 

If you are interested in emotionally connected sex, its a good idea to build a base relationship before you jump into bed, this still does not foolproof it, but it might give you more time to gage your and their feelings first. Of course, sometimes even sex early on does not preclude something deeper.....when the people are right, they will be, but sometimes sex can cloud judgement and confuse "sex" for "love".

[BCBoy81]

I wonder how WOMEN can do the same!! My ex was one of those. Before she dated me, she slept around and after I broke things off with her, back to her old tricks.

 

I'm strange. I would be disappointed in myself if I had a one night stand.

My last relationship became a sexual one and as time went on, I wondered why I wasn't enjoying sex. The more I thought about it, the more I found I did not "love" her. I eventually broke it off based on that premise. I enjoyed her company (more or less) but couldn't continue a relationship with someone I didn't love.

 

All the women I seem to meet are extremely promiscuous. They seem to be proud of the fact that they've been with 20 other guys.

 

Personally, I find that idea revolting.

 

 

So, in closing, not ALL guys are like that, but I will admit a good majority of them are. Sad but true.

[goddess23]

hey all. well...im sorry to post a personal thing with this thread but its connected. im 17 and im a virgin. now my first bf (i was his first gf) and i went out for 9 months and loved eachother alot at the time. we broke up cuz he wanst sure anymore...and 6 months ltaer we decided to take it really slow bcuz we realzied that still really liked eachother. okay..so we've been doing that for 3 months now. but the thing is we're not like bf/gf...we are exclusive however his feelings are very hot and cold and we mainly meet to fool aorund. now i know its not SEXX but its still for that reason. and im just wondering if this sounds like a situation where HE has no feelings for me...because i know i have feelings for him but im just wondering...

[CowgirlFromHell]

Wow Goddess, that sounds just like my situation. My ex and I still see each other, but we are not exclusive anymore. We have sex like once a week, and we only meet for that reason. He's also seeing another girl, and for some reason I'm not particularly bothered by it. I care for him alot, I'm not madly in love with him like I once was, but I do care for him. I do have some feelings of attachment but I keep them in check. However, I'm always wondering how it is that he can not have any kind of attachment towards me, or this other girl. It's so baffling. I don't understand how people do that. He is young, 23, and he's really not ready for a relationship by any means. Maybe your guy is the same way? Is he young? My ex says he's not settling down til at least 30 and wants to play the field, which is understandable since he is very good looking. He says no girl is his woman, doesn't want a girlfriend. That's fine with me, I'm just glad he's my friend. I think the young guys just don't want to settle down with any one girl, no matter how perfect she is. I think our guys are just not ready for the commitment and want to see what's out there, even if we are the perfect girl.

[ShySoul]

Personally, I can't imagine something like that. Sex is more about feelings and emotions then anything else. You can't separate it, its an integral element of the whole experience.

 

Which is why I don't think people really do separate the physical and emotional aspects. They may be able to put on a facade in front of others and act like they don't care, but deep down they really do. They may do everything they can to avoid facing their feelings, but in their hearts they know the truth. It's probably a problem they have with themselves that causes them to do this. They feel something is lacking about themselves and don't really love themselves entirely, so they can't fully love someone else.

[Day_Walker]

Pretty much its going to come down to what he wants, he doesnt WANT a relationship. You cannot make him want this by having sex with him and hoping that he gets emotionally attached, it was a bad move on your part if you thought that would happen.