Chapter 3

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, dias said:

The dance teacher wants me to join the stage performance in December. I told her I am not ready but she insists it will be fun. So now I have to practice at home because I am already behind others. When you look at it, hip hop does not look so difficult but when you do it, it does take a lot of practice to do it correctly and fast. It's like very fast aerobics. I get tired quite fast and I have been working out for 14 years consistently. I really like it though, it's really fun.

I certainly prefer it from coding. I virtually burnt out recently so my brain resists to work now. It's one of those periods. 

Good luck with the performance! Hip hop was popular at the clubs when I went in the 80s!

[mylolita]

On 11/26/2023 at 7:20 PM, dias said:

I think I need to ask my dance teacher to learn this routine instead of hip hop. Looks a lot more fun. Hip hop is quite fast, until you learn the steps perfectly it's like you are rehearsing for marching. But this is easy when you have the body and sure it would be so much fun doing it hahahaha. Jeez and I became an engineer, what a shame...

 

What were you THINKING?! 
 

LMAO! Ever seen the Soft White Underbelly interviews with Gigolo’s? When it’s a female escort, everyone is like, “this is so sad, so depressing, so tragic”… when it’s a male escort, we all high five him! 
 

My husband booked me into a stripper show for my hen party. It was hilarious and actually, made me feel like a timid wallflower - wow 🤣 guys have to breath fire, have a ripped body, back flip and do choreographed gymnastic routines - us women just languidly walked ourselves around a pole and got more money. I tell you! Sexist wage gap?! 
 

C’mon!

 

Looks like so much fun. You can’t take yourself serious if you ever get into something like this! Career switch, Dias? 🥳🤣

 

x

[mylolita]

6 hours ago, dias said:

The dance teacher wants me to join the stage performance in December. I told her I am not ready but she insists it will be fun. So now I have to practice at home because I am already behind others. When you look at it, hip hop does not look so difficult but when you do it, it does take a lot of practice to do it correctly and fast. It's like very fast aerobics. I get tired quite fast and I have been working out for 14 years consistently. I really like it though, it's really fun.

I certainly prefer it from coding. I virtually burnt out recently so my brain resists to work now. It's one of those periods. 

I don’t think people realise how fit you have to be to be a dancer! It’s underrated! 
 

Remember to go with how you feel - this will allow you to out your own micro unique flare and touch in every move and step.
 

I once heard from a pro dancer that he could tell if someone could dance just by how they walked into a room. I have to agree. Some people have natural elegance, move, and confidence with their bodies. 
 

Really great dancers make everything look effortless and natural - have you ever watched Michael Jackson preforming the exact same dance moves as his male backing dancers? They look over worked, over preformed and strained/stiff compared to Michael. 
 

x

[dias]

14 hours ago, mylolita said:

What were you THINKING?! 

Hahahahaha because I studied science and doing this boring stupid job it does not mean I don't have other more saucy personality sides hehe. And I love to laugh and this is pretty funny!

14 hours ago, mylolita said:

My husband booked me into a stripper show for my hen party. It was hilarious and actually, made me feel like a timid wallflower - wow 🤣 guys have to breath fire, have a ripped body, back flip and do choreographed gymnastic routines - us women just languidly walked ourselves around a pole and got more money. I tell you! Sexist wage gap?! 

You have a cool husband!

Certainly the guys need to give a more spectacular performance. Although it's not so difficult if you have the body and you only do some simple moves. For instance only Channing Tatum knows how to dance in the movie, the rest of the guys don't do anything crazy. I have the abs I could do that with a few shots lol

 

14 hours ago, mylolita said:

LMAO! Ever seen the Soft White Underbelly interviews with Gigolo’s? When it’s a female escort, everyone is like, “this is so sad, so depressing, so tragic”… when it’s a male escort, we all high five him! 

It's unfortunate in this day and age that every perversion is socially acceptable and female strippers/escorts still carry a stigma. Not from me that's for sure. 

14 hours ago, mylolita said:

Looks like so much fun. You can’t take yourself serious if you ever get into something like this! Career switch, Dias? 🥳🤣

Ah I wish hahaha

[dias]

Ah she didn't come yesterday. It was a long shot anyway. And there was no other single chick at the bar. It's literally like going fishing. You need to go 100 times to 100 different places, do all the effort and also have to wait for the planets to align to catch something good. 

I wasn't in the mood yesterday anyway, I exercised a lot in the morning and I was really tired. You need to have energy and smile etc for those things. 

 

[Batya33]

5 hours ago, dias said:

Ah she didn't come yesterday. It was a long shot anyway. And there was no other single chick at the bar. It's literally like going fishing. You need to go 100 times to 100 different places, do all the effort and also have to wait for the planets to align to catch something good. 

I wasn't in the mood yesterday anyway, I exercised a lot in the morning and I was really tired. You need to have energy and smile etc for those things. 

 

Yes -and you said you preferred to risk this over asking for contact info at that time.  I respect that!

I exercise every morning -and then during the week I have to do more really fast walking - around 3 miles and often scrub a floor or two lol -sometimes it wears me out for the day-other times it's actually energizing.  Depends.  Last week I had a "first meet" with a potential friend I connected with originally through a neighborhood site -I suggested walking in the park since she had about a 45 minue window of time as did I really. 

But it was right after all this exercise so it was kind of challenging.  She's nice and has a really interesting background and job but I don't see a real strong click. Interestingly the night before she had a first meet off of Hinge and really liked him! (She's mid 50s, he was early 60s -she is very very pretty and very down to earth looking if that matters -doesn't matter to me lol). So I guess Hinge works to an extent!

[dias]

It's my birthday today!32 years old! I am getting old. Too bad lol. 

I remember saying I will continue travelling forever unless I find a girl I really like and settle down wherever that might be. Safe to say, like my dream to start my own successful business and become a millionaire, it will never materialize. You never know but the odds are against me.  

The good thing about this, I love traveling, I love adventures and I love my freedom. Career-wise things seem to be going well (knock on wood, I don't want to jinx it). It's not the best, it's not the worst. Plenty of adventures to still live. 

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, dias said:

It's my birthday today!32 years old! I am getting old. Too bad lol. 

I remember saying I will continue travelling forever unless I find a girl I really like and settle down wherever that might be. Safe to say, like my dream to start my own successful business and become a millionaire, it will never materialize. You never know but the odds are against me.  

The good thing about this, I love traveling, I love adventures and I love my freedom. Career-wise things seem to be going well (knock on wood, I don't want to jinx it). It's not the best, it's not the worst. Plenty of adventures to still live. 

Would you feel free to travel with a partner -either with her or on your own? I-personally- felt less free before marriage.  I feel less free with a child though although I'm happy to give up those freedoms (most of the time!!) to be a mom.  I turned 57 recently.  I highly recommend the book Stacked especially given your age and your career /financial goals.  It's a fun read!

Happy Birthday!!

[dias]

I haven't left the house 3 days in a row as I am solving bugs in the code. When you are coding all day you are so tired after work that you don't even want to talk despite not talking to any real person the whole day. It's hard to explain. It's depressing. 

This job is plenty of levels up compared to my old one. It is worth it though I believe in the long term. Now is the difficult part. 

[mylolita]

39 minutes ago, dias said:

I haven't left the house 3 days in a row as I am solving bugs in the code. When you are coding all day you are so tired after work that you don't even want to talk despite not talking to any real person the whole day. It's hard to explain. It's depressing. 

This job is plenty of levels up compared to my old one. It is worth it though I believe in the long term. Now is the difficult part. 

I just don’t get it Dias 🥲🤣

 

You’ll be fine m’dear! C’MON! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

 

Oh and, HAPPY BELATES BIRTHDAY, by the way!!!!! I’m sorry I missed! 
 

Thirty two! Holy smokes. Where is the time going? I’ll be 34 very soon. I’m quietly freaking out. Anything but the MID thirties. It seems ao final. Goodbye excuses, goodbye playtime. Goodbye YOUTH. Unless I lie. I think I’ll lie!
 

I never have a plan. Well, a really really loose one, a big big picture one that focuses way too much on my own death and everyone else’s. I wish I could live without worrying. I feel it’s a genetic curse from my mothers side, and I’m too lazy to do the brain work to tell myself to shut up and sack it off! 
 

I feel like I’ve had and enjoyed everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve been very lucky, I’ve ticked off my huge important matters of the heart, and those are the only things that really concern me. Now what? Where next? A bigger house? No thanks. More money? Well, maybe, but bigger bills with that too. I want to enjoy my children and husband, be healthy. Maybe get fitter - eat better, more important, sleep better! I was up till 2:30am last night and on the school run at 8:30. 
 

I’d love to try out a few things. Tick off maybe one more goal, enjoy the house, finish the house. Maybe Santa can bring me a vintage Mercedes? Or a Bentley Continental? Soft top, in burgundy - LOL! 
 

I’m starting to massively value health, I know it’s corny, but I realise how precious it is, and how it’s not forever. This panics me but makes me feel beyond grateful. 
 

Anyway, sorry, I’m getting dark and ramblieeee!
 

I hope you had a good one! 

 

What do you want from the next few years?
 

x

[Batya33]

I had more energy in my 40s for a number of reasons. And at 35 I was stil 7 years away from marriage and parenthood except of course I didn’t know that lol. I don’t mind having wrinkles or age spots. I would mind if I were overweight. Many of my friends put on substantial weight in their mid to late 40s and beyond. 

[mylolita]

Just now, Batya33 said:

I had more energy in my 40s for a number of reasons. And at 35 I was stil 7 years away from marriage and parenthood except of course I didn’t know that lol. I don’t mind having wrinkles or age spots. I would mind if I were overweight. Many of my friends put on substantial weight in their mid to late 40s and beyond. 

They say famously, it’s either the face or the body 🤣 no one gets both hahahaha 

 

You never know what’s round the corner! Everyone has inherent talents you have gathered simply through living and being your own personality type and, what makes you you - I believe you can utilise these unique traits, these nuances, to your advantage. They can help you in any area of life, including financial.

 

The type of woman that gets into dancing generally isn’t the degree gatherer and they are not really one for wanting to go and make money the standard way. Often I would suggest something at least self employed. It’s very hard to go from being semi-self employed or self employed as a dancer to then going into employee mode. I have seen a lot of girls struggle with that and most know themselves enough to not even try.

 

I would suggest really looking inward at your own unique God given strengths and talents and going from there. Something alternative and a bit unconventional sometimes works best. I know I’m that way for sure, I think it’s part of the reason I danced in the first place - I don’t know if @Dancer Candyyou can relate to that “don’t pen me in free spirit” way of being? And an addiction to fast money as well, which makes many steady “normal” low level careers seem not worth it. 
 

x

[mylolita]

34 minutes ago, mylolita said:

They say famously, it’s either the face or the body 🤣 no one gets both hahahaha 

 

You never know what’s round the corner! Everyone has inherent talents you have gathered simply through living and being your own personality type and, what makes you you - I believe you can utilise these unique traits, these nuances, to your advantage. They can help you in any area of life, including financial.

 

The type of woman that gets into dancing generally isn’t the degree gatherer and they are not really one for wanting to go and make money the standard way. Often I would suggest something at least self employed. It’s very hard to go from being semi-self employed or self employed as a dancer to then going into employee mode. I have seen a lot of girls struggle with that and most know themselves enough to not even try.

 

I would suggest really looking inward at your own unique God given strengths and talents and going from there. Something alternative and a bit unconventional sometimes works best. I know I’m that way for sure, I think it’s part of the reason I danced in the first place - I don’t know if @Dancer Candyyou can relate to that “don’t pen me in free spirit” way of being? And an addiction to fast money as well, which makes many steady “normal” low level careers seem not worth it. 
 

x

LOL! BATYA! I thought this was on the dancer post thread ha ha ha you can tell how tech savvy I am forget my reply ho ho ho! 
 

🤪

 

x

[dias]

38 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I just don’t get it Dias 🥲🤣

Me neither 😂

40 minutes ago, mylolita said:

I hope you had a good one! 

Work, dance lesson, sleep! It was wild to say the least 🤣

 

42 minutes ago, mylolita said:

What do you want from the next few years?

Dunno. I don't have any goals. I have the job I wanted. I am too tired to venture any business ideas. I guess travelling and trying new things. Meeting a cool gal would be great if it happens. Nothing concrete to be honest, wherever it takes me. 

[mylolita]

3 minutes ago, dias said:

Me neither 😂

Work, dance lesson, sleep! It was wild to say the least 🤣

 

Dunno. I don't have any goals. I have the job I wanted. I am too tired to venture any business ideas. I guess travelling and trying new things. Meeting a cool gal would be great if it happens. Nothing concrete to be honest, wherever it takes me. 

I like you’re thinkin’ Dias! 
 

You have a wanderers, adventurers soul! Maybe in your past, your ancestors sailed the sea, from island to island! Maybe one of them is painted on some vase that was buried beneath the hot earth six hundred years ago! 
 

You are Greek! You’ll fall on your feet! Or, through the sea! 
 

I wish I had a tan! HA! 
 

You don’t want me on your coding team though. I don’t even know how to work the payment app for my sons school trips. I tell everyone, I’m a 95 year old ladies brain in this millennial body. It’s rough going and no one understands - a hidden disability, probably!!! 
 

x

[mylolita]

If this website starts looking anymore like Facebook or switches up just one more time, I’ll be obsolete and won’t be able to use it anymore 🥲

 

x

[Jibralta]

On 12/1/2023 at 4:57 AM, dias said:

I really like it though, it's really fun.

I took ballroom dancing... gosh, it was about 10 years ago, now... It wasn't particularly intense, but it was a decent workout and I really loved it. 

One time when I was there, a man came up to me after my lesson and complimented my dancing. He was with his wife, rehearsing for their son's wedding. He was very friendly and chatty. Within minutes, he found out where I worked and who my boss was. It turned out that they were arch political enemies, lol.

Anyway, this guy turned out to be the president of a local chain of banks! He also opened two swanky restaurants in town, both of which are still flourishing to this day. So is the bank.

When I got to work the next day, I bragged to my coworker about how my awesome dancing skills caught the attention of a bank owner and restaurateur. I don't think he believed me until my boss came in and said, "So, I hear you met my enemy, Whatshis Name. He says you're a very good dancer." 😂

I never saw the banker/ restaurateur again, but I remember him every time Arnold and I end up at one of those restaurants. I always feel like a special guest, even though I'm sure he wouldn't know me from Adam (Eve) if he saw me again. 😂

On 12/4/2023 at 1:24 AM, dias said:

It's my birthday today!

Happy Birthday!!

On 12/4/2023 at 1:24 AM, dias said:

32 years old! I am getting old. Too bad lol. 

Well, it's either that or death lol!

[dias]

 

[dias]

Ohhhhh man I am getting so bored with work and I like what I am doing. I mean I like it as much as you can like a job you don't like. Next month I certainly need to travel otherwise I will explode. I need a change, thank God I can work remotely. To be honest I want 6 months vacation but I have to compromise with working remotely in Europe.

Why only Europe...I detest being restricted. There is whole planet out there.... 

If I didn't have the hip hop lessons I would already be gone. After Christmas though I can miss a few weeks. 

[dias]

 

For a non professional he is cool. Damn,  I miss the shooting range, especially the outdoors with the rifle and the shotgun, it was soo cool 😎 

[dias]

This show would have been so cancelled nowadays 🤣

 

[dias]

We had our Christmas "party" at work. We went out at a nice restaurant but there was no actual fun. Most people at this company are in their 40s and 50s with families and different priorities. We can't relate on a personal level. 

The good thing, I stayed till most people had already gone and the Director started talking more with a bit of wine. It was useful to get some numbers. I learned for example that while I am getting 55K as a permanent employee the contractors ask for 95K. Not bad. Some independent consultants even charge 1500 per day which objectively is crazy money. Only doctors and escorts can make that sort of money. Of course you work all the time, travel to clients internationally all the time, need to build clientele, be the engineer and the salesman simultaneously etc etc. It's not easy whatsoever. The Director said it's not that crazy money when you have a wife and kids. I am thinking what's the point of having a family if you see them once a month?  The kids would know you more as a visitor if anything. Makes more sense to me to rent a small yacht, get 10 strippers and have some fun once a month. 

Anyway, it was good to know how and why the company opened a branch here. Or how they get projects through connections. Nobody of course mentions the under the table transactions when you try to get the million dollar projects. Rightfully so. 

What bothered me is that those million dollar projects are essentially work that engineers would do. It's weird to hear how people "use" you to make money while you are getting 0,0001%. Hard pill to swallow. 

[Batya33]

Have you ever simply taken an interest in learning about other people's lives even if they have nothing to do with yours? Asking appropriate questions about what these 40s/50s people like to do, see, travel to - perhaps you like similar music and books? Just like to expand your world? Some of your world is boring as is some of theirs for sure but wouldn't it be kind of cool if a 40 something mom told you about a class she takes or teaches, about her trip to Iceland 10 years ago, etc?

I love learning new  things about stuff I'll never do - lighting design is one I talked about yesterday with a friend (he's single/never married/my age and a lighting designer -and no kids).  I mean it's cool if you don't see the benefit of this sort of expanding your world just wondering why you write off your coworkers just because they're older and because of their marital/parenting status.  

In 2005 when I was single in my 30s I sat next to an older guy on a long flight - he said he was a musician and I love hearing about music and music careers.  I didn't pry - it was a really interesting conversation.  At the very end he finally revealed who he was and - yes I had a lot of his music on my Ipod lol (Bruce Hornsby!) -imagine if I'd decided - nahhhh he's much older than me and a man -we'd have nothing in common.  

[dias]

On 12/15/2023 at 2:07 PM, Batya33 said:

Have you ever simply taken an interest in learning about other people's lives even if they have nothing to do with yours? Asking appropriate questions about what these 40s/50s people like to do, see, travel to - perhaps you like similar music and books? Just like to expand your world?

Are you saying I am self absorbed? Hahaha. 😀 Not more than the next person. Yes I do ask questions and actually hear what people say. I was one of the chatty ones there. I know how to socialize notably at work. However when you have nothing in common you rarely start hanging out with someone outside of this sort of mandatory events, you have a nice discussion and that's it. I might never see most of them again as we work remotely.

It is difficult finding people at my age that we can have fun and laugh. I have pinged the girls from my previous job a thousand times to go out and have fun but since I left the company it is always "yes we will let you know ".

It is what it is.

 

 

[Batya33]

Lovely pic! I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely!