making friends is hard? Why is that?

[sfboi415]

How can I uncomplicate the process of developing friendships with co-workers, girls who originally felt uncomfortable about my prescense, and people in general? It seems that the hardest thing to do in my life is not work or school, but making strong social connections without being a permanent tag-along or "outsider".

I hope that this summer I will be invited to more parties, or given the opportunity to do something fun and interesting with a group of like-minded people without joining a non-profit or community program.

[brando]

I can identify with what you are going through, i too have a hard time maintaining friends. Went through many, just went different directions with most of them. I think sometimes i destined to have acquaintainces...

 

 

I guess you can try to take more chances. Or as i once heard be a good friend to yourself first. Sounds corny, but makes sense.

[catfood]

Weird, I'm your age and I have the exact same problem. I'm plenty social, but I never feel like I'm totally "in" with the group. Pretty much all my friends right now I've met through my boyfriend, and I know I'd lose touch with at least some of them if we broke up. So that's lame. And my old high school friends...well, I can't relate to them anymore.

 

But yeah. I feel the exact same way! Like I have no one to call and just hang out with. I see everyone at parties and such, but I'm not "in" enough to call whenever.

 

I think that's convoluted, but there you have it.

[Jetta]

Well I have my two friends to call and/or hang with, but I generally feel like an outsider. Really I think it's my own perception but looking back I've always had people to chat with, and I'm only alone if I choose to be. I'm friendly, nice, and generally optimistic. I'm just not very forthcoming, as in hey lets do lunch Wednesday. I think a lot of it is just putting yourself out there. People may think you prefer being alone, so ask them rather than wait for them to ask you.

 

I'm learning a lot from my outgoing son.

[nickb]

it's the weirdest thing that you posted about this. i was going to post about it a day ago and its been on my mind. my issue is all my friends are coworkers and people in my industry. i'm 21, and been working for 2 years now. i am as social as they get, easy to get along with people person. i had tons of friends in college, tons in high school (few of which i hang out with now) and now it seems like not many at all. i can count the friends that i really talk and hang out with on one hand. isn't that sad? and my boy thinks its weird that all my friends from work are in their 30s and i'm 21. my boy is still in college so he's in the environment with all other 18-20 y/o's, but once you get in the workforce, things change. how odd. i'd like to make more friends my age, but find tough time doing so.

[xmrth]

I posted something similar not too long ago.

Something I've done since then is read the book to Make Friends and Influence People"

It's helpful, but I am still in the works for getting this problem solved.

[Stinkweed]

I'm 17 and I have problems making new friends too... I wanna make more friends. You know? I wanna do so much stuff, but it all looks now like it'll only be in my dreams... It's hard... But I'm not willing to give up that easy.

[Blayzed4Life]

I'm in the same shoes, I'm 21 and at my last job everyone was atleast 5 years older then me that I worked with. Then theres my best friend who I've known for 15 years, he's only 17. He gets me to hang out with his friends which is kool and all but I wish I had some friends my age. Although I look like I'm 18 so I dont exactly not fit in with these guys just knowing that I am 3-4 years older then them feels kinda weird.

 

I'm hoping to go to college in the fall hopefully ill meet some people my age. But then again I'm already 21 so most my class mates would probably be younger then me still =/.

[SpyderE]

I believe it's all about putting yourself out there, don't be afraid to take a chance, if someone gives you a hard time don't take it personally, people are more fun if they don't take life so seriously, let down your guard a bit and have fun, try setting something up, like a small party with people from work. We used to get together on sunday nights with a bunch of people from work and just hang out, BBQ, drink a bit and watch movies. It isn't much but it will allow you to get to know people better.

 

Good luck

[annie24]

I hope that this summer I will be invited to more parties, or given the opportunity to do something fun and interesting with a group of like-minded people without joining a non-profit or community program.

 

I think this is your problem right there. You are waiting for things to happen to you. You aren't taking charge of your life. Why don't YOU throw a small get-together, invite some friends, neighbors, and ask them to bring their friends and neighbors.

 

I think you should reconsider joining a non-profit or a community program. They are a great way of meeting like-minded people.

 

How does that saying go... "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got...?"