My boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable having sex on extended trip with my parents.

[cupcakefrosting]

2 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

The extent of things people would do to have sex is amazing. Human nature! 😅🍷

Enjoy OP! I think a hotel indeed might give you privacy and intimacy. Just make sure he's onboard with this.

I can't help it we are in love. Vacation sex is always better anyway. I doubt he would have any issue one day a week taking a few hours in the afternoon to go to the motel. The 3 motels in town are a little questionable, but I think it would overall work for us.

[cupcakefrosting]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Hourly rate motels are know to have dead bodies under the bed, you're better off in the woods.

 

OMG! ha. We haven't discussed having sex in the woods, so that is something I could possibly bring up.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, cupcakefrosting said:

I can't help it we are in love. Vacation sex is always better anyway. I doubt he would have any issue one day a week taking a few hours in the afternoon to go to the motel. The 3 motels in town are a little questionable, but I think it would overall work for us.

Of course you can help it. Being in love simply means you desire to have sex with him. But if you love him you will have sex when the two of you desire to have sex and are comfortable.  How would you like if he pressured or whined at you to have sex with him with the excuse "it's because we're in love so I can't help it!"

[catfeeder]

On 5/29/2022 at 1:49 PM, boltnrun said:

How about just staying for the original two weeks then?  

The fact that husband would be willing to vacay with your family for 4 weeks speaks volumes about why you love him. I'd give him any accommodation to make him feel valued, including freeing him from performance pressures of any kind.

Run the motel idea by him and see how he responds. if he's the least bit hesitant, I'd suck it up, lay off, and bring a little toy for myself.

Fingers crossed for you!

[LikeWater]

I'm actually a bit curious to know what happens if you make the first move.  I mean if you try to go down on him, what plays out?  

Does he just stop you?  Does an argument go down?  Like... it would be helpful to get some sort of his side of things.  Which brings me back to whether you two have even had a discussion about it.

[reinventmyself]

I see two issues here.  One, your bf clearly does not feel comfortable having sex while your parents are under the same roof.   It's really not open for debate at this point.  You don't have to agree but you should at least try to understand and respect how he feels.

Secondly, you won't let this go and turn it into a power struggle.  At this point it wouldn't matter what the topic was.  The fact that you won't take his feelings into consideration will lead him to feel unheard and disrespected.  He's likely to not want to have sex with you because his feelings are being dismissed and not because you are cohabitating with your parents.

This isn't a new issue and he's been consistent in how he feels.  You either go or decline the (free) vacation because for you, being with your bf for 4 weeks without sex is more than you can handle.