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I ruined the first date


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16 hours ago, LoveSiiick said:

Hey guys,

I had a date with a guy from reddit, he messaged me randomly. And he lives close to my university, we talked for about a week and a half until we met. Honestly, I was more interested in someone I was talking to before him. The issue was that he treated me badly on the first date and I can’t control my emotions. I thought that by going on a date with this guy it would make me happy but it didn’t. I was crying while waiting in the parking lot, but since I was already there I decided to get dinner with him. When we were in dinner I couldn’t really give eye contact he immediately stood up and said “text me when you can make eye contact” and walked out. I was embarrassed, there were 3 couples who heard and looked at us like “*** is going on?”. When I got to my car I called him and he picked up and he said he was sorry about walking out but he was frustrated. He picked me up and we went for a drive, I explained to him what happened he seemed to understand. We got some fast food and he gave me a hug before leaving. 

I immediately apologized again on text and thanked him for staying. Then he cancelled on me twice, the second time was the last draw for me. I confronted him on why he did this, he said that he is going through a lot of BS and is heavily drinking and smoking weed. He was sorry he was not open about his issues. He said that when he comes back from his vacation he would like to meet. I heard nothing back, as I didn’t know how long his vacation is. 

I have been thinking about him this past week. I decided to reach out and he replied and called me on facetime. We were on facetime for over an hour until my ride got there. During the call he mentioned he wants to meet up in 2 weeks because he will be back by then. He suggested going to see the cherry blossoms in DC since we live close to it. I would love to meet him, as I find him attractive and fun despite what happened. 

However, he doesn’t text me and idk if he was ever gonna reach out. I don’t know what to do?

Don’t contact him again. Reflect on why you’re attracted to someone who has drug/alcohol addictions and move on. The problem is you just as much as him. He seems to have anger management issues and problems regulating his emotions the same way you do. 

Change the script and start with you. Do what you need to do to be happy with yourself and avoid individuals who don’t operate the same way.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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Someone who has emotional issues trying to have a relationship with someone with impulse control and substance abuse issues...no, this will not go well.

Please help yourself by addressing your emotional issues first. 

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Don't go on dates to make yourself "happy". You should be happily going on dates. Give yourself some time to release the negative experience you had before going out with someone again. 

Pro tip: regardless of your behavior, do not tolerate anyone's rude behavior. You should have written him off right there. And boy you didn't owe him an apology or an explanation. Block/delete, move on. 

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