Why is my partner doing this?

[Orianna]

Hello,

I am in a relationship with a male for two yrs now. I have massive trust issues and we made it work. I accuse him. Recently, he did something so odd. He put my items that i kept away inside a compartment in my car on the passenger seat. We had massive argument about it. He claimed that I had put it there and forgot about it.  

 

There was no way I would have forgot about it because I drove my car yesterday and I would never put my items on passenger seat esp papers that don't have envelopes. I always put it inside my compartment to keep safe.

 

I have been driving my car for five yrs and i would never done this. He start calling me that i have dementia. I am  25 yrs old. I was shaking. Bcus he makes me believe that i am stupid. That it was my fault. Why is he doing this? His behaviour is weird. He told me that i accuse him so much . I am oblivious on whats happening on the surrounding around me. 

 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

Why do moved items upset you so much that it leads to a massive argument?

What do you interpret as the hidden meaning or intention there?

[Tanzi]

Right, okay …. from the little you have said, it seems there is a whole bunch of other stuff going on here.

It’s hard to comment on the items in your car situation. A little more info would be good. What were they? Where would they usually be? Did they need to be in the car at all?

You said he makes you feel stupid. Is this all the time or just in regards to this situation?

He said you accuse him “so much”.  Again, is this in regards to this situation or do you accuse him a lot. I mean, you did say you have massive trust issues and you “accuse him”. Accuse him of what?

Reading between the lines here, I’m already picking up that this could be a somewhat toxic relationship but it’s hard to make a judgement when so much seems to be missing. There’s more to this.  

 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Orianna said:

He start calling me that i have dementia. I am  25 yrs old. I was shaking. Bcus he makes me believe that i am stupid.

He sounds mentally and verbally abusive. End it.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, Orianna said:

I have been driving my car for five yrs and i would never done this. He start calling me that i have dementia. I am  25 yrs old. I was shaking. Bcus he makes me believe that i am stupid. That it was my fault. Why is he doing this?

Because then you are made easier to control. Lets say tomorrow you discover that he went to see his ex gf. OK, lets not make it so obvious, lets say he said to you how he was going to see friends but you discover that there are some girls involved too. When you confront him, he can just say "Oh, but I already told you that and you said its OK, you must have forgot". Its just an example, but it demonstrates how "gaslighting" in real life works. And yes, its a form of emotional abuse and you should end it immediately. 

[WildPump]

First of all you mentioned very little and just one incident. The way it looks you guys are not doing well as a partner. Furtermore you have trust issues which I believe you told him about it and if he did this on purpose then someone is sabotaging this relationship, the way he responded and blaimed on you is not acceptable. If you are not comfortable with his behaviour towards you then you are better without him.  

[smackie9]

If he did this, what purpose would he have taking those things out?

[Rose Mosse]

Well, if you know it wasn’t you and he’s the only other person who has been in your car…

What’s stopping you from getting rid of this guy? Not everything needs to be rationalized. If you feel distinctly creeped out and your sixth sense is screaming warnings so loud you can’t focus on anything else, please be sensible and leave the relationship or put a stop to what’s going on.