I know alot of you will be shocked about this.

[Star.Bubblez]

I know, I know, its pretty bad that a 13-year-old is writing in this topic but I am really scared and I need advice badly!! About a week ago me and my boyfriend were at a friends house and she said that if we ever got the chance we could, you know, do it. So her and her mom were asleep and I layed on the couch with him and we fooled around a bit. When her mom's alarm went off for her to go to work I took off and went to the other couch cause it was 4:00 AM (we were staying the night) And there me and him waited for her to leave, but fell asleep for about an hour before she really left. And when she did leave my friend was still asleep and her mom would not be back until about 2 something PM that day. So my boyfriend woke me up and we started fooling around again. And he goes do you have the condom with you? and I told him the truth that yes I did. So we went into a private little area and sat there for a while and made sure we where really ready to loose our virginity right there right now with eachother. And we decided that yes we were. And so we did it. My boyfriend might have cumed in the condom without me knowing and he was enjoying it so much he really didn't reconize either. That day after that I felt just fine, and when my friend woke up I explained to her what happened and she got sortof angry, but I dont know why cause after all she did tell us that we could. But anyway she asked me how old the condom was and I said about 1-2 months old but it was in the package unopened, then she asked if he had cumed, and I said I had no clue and my boyfriend had gone home for a while so we couldn't ask him, plus since he was enjoying it and really didn't reconize it either I dont think he would know either. And my friend said that it was really possible that if he did cum that it could have gone through the condom and I could now be pregnant! I have been having some of the symptoms, Nausea, my breasts hurt, i feel dizzy if im up to long, my back hurts more often, my feet are hurting and it hurts to walk on them, im tired more often, and I feel like im going to puke up any kind of food I eat. And like 1-2 days after we had sex I started feeling all of these and I feel sick all the time. Me and my friend tried a home remedy thing where I had to pee in a cup and then we added viniger to it and it changed colors which in the case of the remedy means that I am not pregnant. But still I dont think all of those signs are normal. So my friend and me went on the internet to put in all of my menstral things and the next time I am suposed to start is June 5th(another thing that scared me is when we entered all of this information in it showed the CORRECT amount of days since me and him had sex). My friend told me that I should wait for two weeks, and if the signs get worse, I get bigger, and I skip that day I am suposed to have my next period that I am most likely pregnant. I am really scared that I am. I dont know how I would tell my parents or my older sister that went through the same thing as me. Or how to tell the doctor, or get to the doctor to find out if I really am.(Any Idea's?). Another thing is how do I get my boyfriend involved in this, he is so shocked right now. And I dont know how to comfort him. I know he is most likely as scared as I am, but I need him right now to get through this do any of you know how I can get him to understand that I am going baisicly through the same thing that he is? I know this is a long topic and I am really to young to be going through any of this but I am and I need advice from all of you. So please respond with ANY advice that you may have. Thank you.

[avman]

You would not feel the symptoms of pregnancy only a week after having sex. The symptoms you are having are most likely from being nervous, not from the pregnancy itself.

 

Home pregnancy tests are not accurate until after you miss a period. So you won't be able to test until sometime in early to mid June. You'll have to wait to see what happens and whether or not you get your next period.

 

It's good that you used a condom. But the stuff your friend told you is wrong. If the condom is used properly the sperm cannot go through it. The only way that happens is if there is a hole in the condom or if it slips off during intercourse.

 

With all of this said, I hope you learned a good lesson about the consequences of having sex. No birth control method is 100% effective. So you always have a slight risk of getting pregnant. At your age, the risk is even greater because it's obvious you aren't quite up to speed on sexuality and how birth control works.

[ld25]

Dear Star,

I don't know much about this kind of situation or pregnancy, but one thing I can assure is that you won't feel those kind of symptoms - dizziness, feeling sick etc., immediately. It might take couple of weeks or atleast months to feel this sort of thing. (Well, this is the knowledge from the science that I learnt).

 

So, don't worry too much about it. Try to think about how you can check this out so that you can find the actual fact. I suppose you could go to your health service and talk to them about it. The nurses and doctors might be able to understand the situation and offer you valuable and appropriate advice. That would be one of the best options.

 

May be you are just too nervous about the whole thing and you relate the tiredness etc., to your friend's assumption.

 

If you are too worried about speaking to others as of now, you can wait couple more days and find it out yourself. You will be fine...don't panic.

If you would feel better speaking to your sister or anyone at your home, try to. But if you are not comfortable about it, you can seek help from your health services.

 

Your boyfriend might be nervous about the situation too. But he'll surely understand that you are feeling the same. Take charge and remain calm. Be optimistic...what you are fearing could just be a fear..it may not be the fact.

 

Best Wishes,

LD

[annie24]

Ditto to what LD and Avman said - you're probably just nervous. The condom most likely worked, and women don't typically get symptoms like those so early. It may just be nervousness. On another note, the vinegar in a cup of pee thing does not work.

 

Take a home pregnancy test in a few weeks, for piece of mind. Good luck!

[RandomAdvisor]

Your symptoms are probably psycho somatic. That means you think you have something, and you make yourself develop the symptoms. It happens to people in medical school a lot. They read up on all these weird diseases, and then they start to develop symptoms. Condoms don't spoil after two months. They're good for years. If he wore a condom, I don't think you should be worried about being pregnant.

 

That being said, what the hell were you thinking!? You're 13 years old! You shouldn't be having sex yet! You're not old enough, you're not responsible enough...you don't even know about basic birth control (condoms)! I hated to hear it when I was your age too, but teenagers are young and stupid.

 

How long have you been with this guy? How long did you talk about having sex?

[Star.Bubblez]

We have known/been with eachother for about 2 years and we have been talking about sex for months

[annie24]

I know - you've known him for a while - but as you can see - both you and he freaked out because of the whole thing. And it's scary! 13 year olds having to deal with the possibility of being parents. I think it may be better to wait until you can deal with the possible consequences of sex. Yes, if you have sex, you can get pregnant. It's what sex was made for!

 

If you can't drive yourself to the doctor, or pay for your own birth control or pregnancy tests, you shouldn't be having sex. You will not feel bad that you waited.

[RandomAdvisor]

If you can't drive yourself to the doctor, or pay for your own birth control or pregnancy tests, you shouldn't be having sex. You will not feel bad that you waited.

 

I was 19 when I first had sex and I'm happy I waited.

[darkblue]

I feel young people really do take sex [especially virginity] for granted nowadays.

 

Most of the time it's not even that they really have strong feelings for their partner, but more the novetly of 'having sex'.

 

I agree, however, that your probably not showing the signs of pregnancy itself but more the nerves.

 

Get a pregnancy test just to double check and make sure..

 

[on another note] for anyother teens reading this:

 

Pregnancy and being a teen parent is one of the most demanding things you can have to do, as a teenager you are NOT ready to have children.. Live your teenage years while you have them as you have many many years to start a family later.

 

Sex isn't all it's hyped up to be and I gaurentee you that you'll regret not keeping your virginity until you were physically and emotionally ready to have sex.

 

So girls: think before you spread your legs

 

and boys: peer pressure is the stupidest thing you can ever get yourself in to, and it's very difficult to get yourself out of

 

db

 

____________________________________________________________

 

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.

Japanese Proverb

[igor512]

Let's not make her feel worse about it, jeez. She's here because she's scared and the best you can do is harangue her about being an active teenager? Come on, people. She's probably fine and you know it.

[RandomAdvisor]

Let's not make her feel worse about it, jeez. She's here because she's scared and the best you can do is harangue her about being an active teenager? Come on, people. She's probably fine and you know it.

 

I disagree. I think we as a soicety are becoming too accepting of very young teenagers (15 and under) becoming sexually active. What ever happened to shame?

[sunnihunni]

first of all...everything that all the others have said is true...as long as the condom didnt break then there shouldnt be a problem.

 

but also...you said that you werent sure if your boyfriend came or not...and you didnt think he would know either...well, im pretty sure he would know if he came...have you actually asked him? because if he didnt, you don't need to worry.

 

and also...yes, 13 is very young to be having sex...and i'll admit i was a little shocked to see that you were only 13...but i must say it sounds like you were responsible about the decision...ill give you that much. but also...do you really want to be worrying about being pregnant at 13...it just seems like its alot more than you should ever have to worry about at your age.

 

and to everyone who feels like they can bully or shame a scared 13 year old into not having sex, i think thats probably not the best method to use to go about doing it.