My boyfriend told his ex to come to his party ?

[slimKimmie]

I over heard my boyfriend inviting his ex to his party. My boyfriend talks to his ex regularly they seem close. I’m not an insecure woman so i don’t think anything of it 

Today he FaceTimed her while at my house. And when she answered he went into the other room. And he starts telling her about the party.
She says well i don’t know about going
So he starts asking her why and then he says “are you not going because I’m going to be there” and she said “well when i asked you said i don’t care if you come “ and he said “i don’t care means you come “ then he says “bring your mom your sister your cousin to the party just come and i been missing you too so yeah come”

So she says “well you got a gf so i don’t think that’s a good idea” and he says “I’m single i don’t owe you or nobody else nothing”
Then he said if you don’t wanna talk or deal with me anymore just say that” “even if you don’t i know you’re going to text me again sooner or later asking to see me” hen he said again” let me know if you still want to deal with me”

TL:DR; am i overreacting or am i underreacting? I don’t think she should be invited to go

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, slimKimmie said:

Today he FaceTimed her while at my house. she says “well you got a gf so i don’t think that’s a good idea” and he says “I’m single i don’t owe you or nobody else nothing”

You're not overreacting, he's being rude and obnoxious.

You could have booted him out when he FTed her from your home. When he added the bit about being single, all his stuff should have been thrown out at his butt as he's leaving.

 

[MissCanuck]

28 minutes ago, slimKimmie said:

My boyfriend talks to his ex regularly they seem close. I’m not an insecure woman so i don’t think anything of it

Perhaps you should. There is a difference between being insecure, and being able to identify red flags and not caring about wanting to be The Cool Girlfriend just to keep a guy who's behaving badly. 

30 minutes ago, slimKimmie said:

he says “I’m single

There's your answer. He doesn't care about you. 

Get rid of him. 

[slimKimmie]

16 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Perhaps you should. There is a difference between being insecure, and being able to identify red flags and not caring about wanting to be The Cool Girlfriend just to keep a guy who's behaving badly. 

There's your answer. He doesn't care about you. 

Get rid of him. 

He seemed to be inviting everyone from the looks of it so i never paid it any mind

[MissCanuck]

12 minutes ago, slimKimmie said:

He seemed to be inviting everyone from the looks of it so i never paid it any mind

This isn't relevant. 

What is relevant is that he lied to his ex and said he was single. 

[Kwothe28]

I agree, after "I am single" you should have just throw him out of your house lol

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, slimKimmie said:

My boyfriend talks to his ex regularly they seem close. I’m not an insecure woman so i don’t think anything of it 

Well, you're contradicting yourself, because you DO think something of it. You've just boxed yourself into pretending that you don't.

I can't speak for you, only myself. I won't deal with anyone who is still involved with an ex lover in any way, shape, or form beyond shared children--and you're learning WHY.

I'm not insecure, either. But I'm certainly not going to set myself up to become that way, only to trap myself into a corner because I was sooo okaaaay with their contact.

Skip that.

I don't get to make rules for anybody else, but I can set my own standards. Anybody who wants to date me can do whatever he pleases, but if that includes ongoing contact with an ex, he can go ahead and do that without dating me.

You've since learned how playing friendzies with an ex can complicate a new relationship. You can also keep on pretending to think nothing of it, but good luck with that.

[DarkCh0c0]

He said he's single and you just accept that?!?

Woman, it's not just the ex the problem here. She's the tip of the iceberg.

HE DOESN'T VALUE YOU.

Pick up what's left of your dignity and leave. He's not worthy of you. You deserve a man who has healthy boundaries with people, who's honest and proud about being with you. Who respects you! Who is over his ex. So go get that, cause this one is NOT the one.

[smackie9]

Well I think he's a bit thick headed. I don't think his comment about being single was meant to be serious. He's just getting pissy with her. She knows he's not single. To settle this, invite her yourself. Call her. This will give you the opportunity to get to know her and form an alliance.

[slimKimmie]

Just now, smackie9 said:

Well I think he's a bit thick headed. I don't think his comment about being single was meant to be serious. He's just getting pissy with her. She knows he's not single. To settle this, invite her yourself. Call her. This will give you the opportunity to get to know her and form an alliance.

Well if he didn’t mean it then I’m upset for nothing 

[smackie9]

He just sounds like he has that hyper type of personality...gets too excited and starts to say stupid stuff. You know doesn't think before he speaks.

[DarkCh0c0]

@smackie9 what?! No. I disagree. Who does that? There are better ways to convince someone to come to a party.

[smackie9]

I have an out going personality..I try to not look at the ex as the enemy, even if I get snubbed. All my hubby's exes, I always wanted to meet them, and held my hand out to them with confidence.

[slimKimmie]

She said “i thought you had a gf” and hung up and he started calling her back saying “i don’t have a go she just tags me in stuff in Facebook” 

[smackie9]

3 minutes ago, slimKimmie said:

She said “i thought you had a gf” and hung up and he started calling her back saying “i don’t have a go she just tags me in stuff in Facebook” 

Well why didn't you just say that. And why post about it here? You know what you need to do right at that moment...breakup and give him the boot. No brainer darlin.

Reverse psychology seems to get the info out.

[DarkCh0c0]

Just now, slimKimmie said:

She said “i thought you had a gf” and hung up and he started calling her back saying “i don’t have a go she just tags me in stuff in Facebook” 

What?! And you find this acceptable?

What man does that?

Woman, you need to realize that he's not that into you and he does not respect you.

Imagine if you're married... Nah, she's not my wife. She just takes care of my baby! Ha... Ha. ha.

[slimKimmie]

1 minute ago, smackie9 said:

Well why didn't you just say that. And why post about it here? You know what you need to do right at that moment...breakup and give him the boot. No brainer darlin.

Because your description describes my boyfriend he jokes and plays and is hyper a lot. As soon as she realized he was with me she hung up and he started blowing her phone up

[DarkCh0c0]

@smackie9 inviting an ex is one thing, and lying about your relationship status to please her is a complete different thing.

[smackie9]

Guy is a total jerk.

[smackie9]

Just now, DarkCh0c0 said:

@smackie9 inviting an ex is one thing, and lying about your relationship status to please her is a complete different thing.

She just revealed the latter of that conversation...if she posted it in the first place I wouldn't have made that post.

[DarkCh0c0]

1 minute ago, smackie9 said:

Guy is a total jerk.

100%

[SooSad33]

I think you have a good enough head on your shoulders to KNOW he is an idiot?

Any guy who says stuff like this to an EX will sure enough then be my ex!

Be done with it.. he's not done with her.

 

[MissCanuck]

6 hours ago, slimKimmie said:

Because your description describes my boyfriend he jokes and plays and is hyper a lot. As soon as she realized he was with me she hung up and he started blowing her phone up

That is not the reason he pretends to be single. 

This guy is not into you. Time to dump him before he dumps you. 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, slimKimmie said:

 he started blowing her phone up

They are crazy. Stay away from them. 

He is crazier than she is. At least she hung up when she realized he was at your place.

Don't run a free BnB for stray dogs like this. 

[smackie9]

Any updates?