Womens point of view about singlehood

[freedom]

Has any women here choose Singlehood for a period of time? i really would like to know a women point of view. Has anyone choose singlehood over having a relationship to break the pattern, and figure that life was much much better without a man? is it that much better? are guys really that much pain in the *beep*? and what about it makes a woman change her mind from attachment to singlehoood and from singlehood to attachment?

[lady star]

i have been single for almost 3 years and i'm still young, all i have to say is that after a while it really sucks....i am sooooo lonely sometimes, i would choose a relationship over this any day, but my singlehood is not my choice

[WArrior458]

Well because to much stress in their lives... had a few bad experiences and decided to give it upfor a while and it can also be that they want to finish accomplishing their careers either at school or try to earn some money to buy ahouse, or a car, oreven vacation, etc

 

I wouldsay that i pick to be singele for a while because i had a few bad experiences in the past, so i need time to heal....

[CarterJonas]

I'm not a woman...lol but there is nothing wrong in being happily single. So many people I know are in the wrong relationships which makes them unhappy but for some reason they don't see this! I keep my mouth shut though.

[Hope75]

I chose to be single for almost a year after a bad breakup 5 years ago. It was a great time for me because my best friend was also single and my sister as well so we did alot of bonding and I spent alot of time on my own and really learned what I wanted for myself and also what I might look for in a man when I felt ready to date again.

 

I think I grew alot in that year and it was really good for me. I would def do it again if things didn't work out for me and my guy, at first to get over him and heal, and then to have time for me and my friends and to just enjoy having no strings attached.

[freedom]

I know there is nothing wrong choosing to be single. Just that i suppose when the right one comes along most people will jump for it. But consciously giving it up for singlehood well that is a little hard to swallow. I mean i have a friend that actually did that, and it blew me away. I suppose there is so many of us out there looking for the right person, that having someone i know actually giving up the perfect guy, well, damn, i wish i was that lucky. Andbefre any of you say how do i know if that guy was the right guy... Well, she said so, "the perfect guy, a soulmate, but i have choosen to live my life as a single."

I say waste. but that is my judgemental perspective.

[freedom]

yeah you are right. interesting analogy. hmmm..

i would not question that... just trying to understand it. lets say the vanilla is chocolate. and she like that particular chocolate...erhhh.. i see what you mean ... it is choice. really nothing to understand. just i suppose... hmmm. i suppose i am hmmm. a romantic?

[freedom]

I suppose the best explaination to my question is....

Even though she might like chocolate, she might not be in the mood for chocolate, may right now she like to have the 101 flavours of baskin robbins, and even if chocolate lands in front of her she will give it a miss because it is the wrong timing.

RIGHT?

[MiquelAngelo]

People who are not happy when they are alone are in bad company. They should learn to be happy with themselves that way others will be happy being around them. In fact an interesting thing might happen ...You are so happy being alone that you get very picky on who you allow to get close to you. Last time I checked there was nothing wrong with being selective

 

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[Flora]

After my ex and I broke up I swore I wouldnt date or be with anyone exclusively for a long ong time, ...well, except if this ONE guy in particular came around...whom I was curious about...I might try dating him, but nothing serious. And he did and we are... So...chosing to be single is one thing, but passing up something that could be extremely awesome is another. Things happen in life for a reason, and you should go with your gut...if it feels good go with it. If a tiny voice inside you whispers soulmate...even though your more than happy living the single life...it would be insane not to at least give it a shot. I'm terrified, but I'd be a fool not to try.

 

What made me decide to remain single in the past, was mostly because I knew I had things about me that I wanted to work on. Issues I wouldnt want to b ring into a relationship...what made me decide to give love a shot again...well this time, its the signals I'm getting. Everything falling into place like it should...timing. I mean I spent the past 2 months locked up in my apartment wishing only to have friends not a man...so I could get out and feel like I belonged somewhere. The time alone was truly a blessing, because although I was often lonely I was able to do a lot of sould searching and work out some crap that had been weighing me down. So...now I'm feeling a lot better about the direction I'm headed and about decisions I made in the past...I pray a lot too..

[Jetta]

Flora that was very inspiring.

[freedom]

Flora, thanks you for sharing your lovely msg, i admire you for having the guts to stop all relationship to do some self growth. I now understand better why women do it. Thank you again for sharing

[Flora]

Wow that's great...im glad I could offer something good to the forums. Those past two months I hid away in my apartment I was logged on to enotalone tons (greenie35) ...it really helped me a lot! I'm glad you all are here too!

[Day_Walker]

Being single and being in relationships are both important. It is best that you learn from being on both sides.

[quietgrl]

Yup !I think a people fast is alway a good idea.

[Juliana]

I have had periods in my life where I was quite happy being single, and at those times, I experienced guys trying to create a romantic interest in me as irritating and intrusive. I would have the feeling that I was happy and content as I was, and that they didn't know me well enough to build that kind of interest so quickly, and thereforeeee they were just lonely and insufficient, and were interested in me as a "girlfriend," and what I could do for them in that role, not just as myself. Their presense in my life was then debilitating and draining, and it was really very bad for me.

 

I tried everything to keep guys away from me at this point in my life. However, I didn't see it as life being "better without a man," only that none of the men around me were adding anything to my life.

 

BTW, this is like the world's oldest thread, isn't it? But a good one.

[Wimpy]

I was single, not by choice, until my mid 30's. Although most of the time I was happy being me I did, at other times get incredibly depressed about it and all I was "missing out" on.

 

Then I met a guy and fell in love and thought I'd found my soul-mate although that said, the ride wasn't always smooth.

 

2 years ago in April he broke up with me - see previous posts if you are interested in how etc....

 

After that I was totally BROKEN and thought I'd never recover.

 

However, over the past 2 years I've realised that it was great being in love - I learned so much about myself and my capacity to love another human being. Unfortunately I just chose the wrong person. When he broke up with me he destroyed a part of me that still hasn't recovered. I'm glad I got to love him and experience that but to me personally - and I'm now late 30's - I'm quite happy to be on my own.

 

Ok so occasionally I get a bit sad but then I remember how bad it felt when it all went wrong and I don't know I could survive that again.

 

I have a good life - my health, great family, good friends, a good job, my own home and I travel 2 or 3 times a year all over the world...have done so since I was 19.

 

As I said on a previous post a few weeks ago, my take on it now is that you have to be happy with what you have and not keep going after what you don't have. I use my singleness to its full advantage and whilst at times I might be sad, the majority of the time I love only having myself to worry about. I know all too many people in unhappy marriages or relationships or who have teenage kids at my age - yikes!!! lol

 

I've stopped looking for a relationship - I'm just happy being me and doing my own thing. If it came along then things might change but to run the risk of a heart smashed and a spirit crushed.... I'm honestly not sure I'd take that chance again.....

 

Just my thoughts...

[Juliana]

I don't want to repeat that old saw "we are all ultimately alone," because I don't believe it. But I will say this: Having been in many relationships, good and bad (usually both at the same time, really ), and having been married, and had kids, what I've found is that we cannot get our life through our relationships; we share our lives. We have to be fully functioning, fully alive and self-reliant in our ownselves, or nothing will make us happy. I'm very happy to be sharing my life with the people who are in it; my husband, my kids, my friends, my wider family, but I know that I am, ultimately, complete unto myself. I would have to say that at this point, the only "person" I feel I need in order to be complete would be God.

 

Wimpy, you will stop worrying about being crushed when you recognize that your own spirit, your essential "you-ness," is immortal. You may not believe it; I wouldn't have just a couple of years ago, but it's really true.

[rocio]

I prefer to be single. It's not always possible because sometimes life happens and you fall in love or you develop infactuations. But I would much rather be single than to be in a relationship. I also have friends who prefer to be single. Guys think that we must be waiting for a man to save us from our miserable plight of singleness, but it's simply not true.

[Wimpy]

Guys think that we must be waiting for a man to save us from our miserable plight of singleness, but it's simply not true.

 

 

LOL!!!!