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Does height matter in dating?


ravens97

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I'm a Gay male and have been seeing a boy remotely via zoom dates for the past few weeks. Everything has been going well and we're going to finally meet in a few weeks. There's just one potential problem - a height difference.

I'm 5'7 and he's anywhere from 5'10 to 6'1. He does not know (although he does see my instagram pictures?) how short I am. I'm worried that he'll be turned off and disengage once he finds out. Don't want him to be caught by surprise when we meet but am also afraid of sounding insecure in bringing this up beforehand. In fact, he complimented me the other day saying "you are so confident and it's really attractive."

Do gay men care about height? If it matters, I'm a more masculine top and (I think) he's a bottom, but do not know for sure.

How should I handle this? Should I bring it up?

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51 minutes ago, ravens97 said:

I'm a Gay male and have been seeing a boy remotely via zoom dates for the past few weeks. Everything has been going well and we're going to finally meet in a few weeks. There's just one potential problem - a height difference.

I'm 5'7 and he's anywhere from 5'10 to 6'1. He does not know 

Why not tell him? You can't hide it.  If you're going to meet him he'll soon see your height anyway, right?  Unless he's super shallow it wouldn't matter.  Next time you chat just ask  "hey, how tall are you? .... I'm 5'7"  or whatever.  It can't be that hard to talk about or to mention in conversation.

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Unless you have somehow led him on that you are taller than you are or have provided him with false info about your height, I see no point in bringing it up.  If you were an heterosexual couple, it might have been a problem given that the social norm is usually the man being of the same height or taller than the woman.  However, in a same sex couple I fail to see how it would be a big deal.  If you have been on zoom dates, I assume that he has seen you live on camera.  However, if you feel that you need to let him know about it prior to meeting, i guess that you could mention it casually by asking him his height and volunteering your height once he responds just so that he knows.  If he then sticks to your date plans, you will be good to go.  Disclaimer: I have no idea whether gay men tend to care about height.          

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17 hours ago, ravens97 said:

Don't want him to be caught by surprise when we meet but am also afraid of sounding insecure in bringing this up beforehand. In fact, he complimented me the other day saying "you are so confident and it's really attractive."

Well, I'm not a gay man. However, I do find tallness attractive in men.

BUT shortness is not a deal breaker BECAUSE I find confidence to be even more attractive than height.

I'm not talking about fake confidence, a.k.a bravado or machismo.

I'm referring to the very real sense of a man owning the space that he's in, whether the height of that space is 6-4" or 5'-6"! That's attractive. 

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To be honest I think height is more of a personal choice. I don't really care about height that much myself. Other people might. I think being a same gender relationship it may not matter that much. It's true that women often prefer for a man to be their height or taller, not shorter. But biologically men usually are taller than women so that's where the preference probably comes from. If it's two women or two men dating there doesn't seem to be any height expectation.

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