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help, feeling i can't breath its only been 10 days after break up


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I’m going through a break up for 6 days and honestly I feel so broken I feel like I can’t breathe I just honestly want to die I was with him for three years and honestly it was a toxic relationship but I loved him and now I feel like I can’t take this it’s been a year since I lost my dad and now this I’m not strong enough mentally not right now 

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I'm sorry for the loss of your dad, and for what you are feeling and going through now.  I can speak from experience so I will tell you that what you are experiencing is normal.  Yes, it sucks but you are in disbelief and shock.  I was married for 29 years and I was blinded sided when he said he wanted a divorce.  My world, as you can imagine, fell apart and I felt such despair, grief and heartache.  I didn't think I could get through it.  

You have to process your loss, plain and simple.  Easier said than done but it's something that you must go through because you loved him.  You are human and this is how one feel when we lose someone who we loved.  It's the death of a relationship so you will go through a roller coaster of emotions (just like the death of loved one).  Have you ever heard of Kubler-Ross's Stages of Grief?  If not, here's a link:  https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html 

I've been divorced for nearly two years now and I feel so much better now that I am no longer in that toxic environment.  Do I miss him at times?  Yes.  Why?  Haven't figured that out yet.  Would I ever go back with him if he ever wanted to reconcile (although it's highly unlikely)?  H*ll no!!!

I had a panic attack about one month after the breakup and I couldn't breathe.  Nearly called 911.  Seriously, I thought I was having a heart attack.  Long story short (if that's possible at this point...LOL) I had three more panic attacks two weeks apart last year.  Even the doctors were afraid that something was wrong with my heart.  I realise now that I had given him the power to do that to me.  I tried really hard to maintain a positive attitude and not throw myself pity parties.  They serve no purpose other than cause undue stress.  I concentrated on all the good that I have in my life and I have plenty of it.  

Be happy that you are no longer in this toxic scenario.  Why on earth would you want that, right?  Don't look back, look ahead.  And, with time, you will heal and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You will get there, Angela!  Keep your head up high and know that you are not alone.  Wishing you all the best.  

 

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3 hours ago, goddess said:

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad, and for what you are feeling and going through now.  I can speak from experience so I will tell you that what you are experiencing is normal.  Yes, it sucks but you are in disbelief and shock.  I was married for 29 years and I was blinded sided when he said he wanted a divorce.  My world, as you can imagine, fell apart and I felt such despair, grief and heartache.  I didn't think I could get through it.  

You have to process your loss, plain and simple.  Easier said than done but it's something that you must go through because you loved him.  You are human and this is how one feel when we lose someone who we loved.  It's the death of a relationship so you will go through a roller coaster of emotions (just like the death of loved one).  Have you ever heard of Kubler-Ross's Stages of Grief?  If not, here's a link:  https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html 

I've been divorced for nearly two years now and I feel so much better now that I am no longer in that toxic environment.  Do I miss him at times?  Yes.  Why?  Haven't figured that out yet.  Would I ever go back with him if he ever wanted to reconcile (although it's highly unlikely)?  H*ll no!!!

I had a panic attack about one month after the breakup and I couldn't breathe.  Nearly called 911.  Seriously, I thought I was having a heart attack.  Long story short (if that's possible at this point...LOL) I had three more panic attacks two weeks apart last year.  Even the doctors were afraid that something was wrong with my heart.  I realise now that I had given him the power to do that to me.  I tried really hard to maintain a positive attitude and not throw myself pity parties.  They serve no purpose other than cause undue stress.  I concentrated on all the good that I have in my life and I have plenty of it.  

Be happy that you are no longer in this toxic scenario.  Why on earth would you want that, right?  Don't look back, look ahead.  And, with time, you will heal and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You will get there, Angela!  Keep your head up high and know that you are not alone.  Wishing you all the best.  

 

Thank you for letting me know ur story gave me some strength I have to be strong and do what’s best for myself because being in a toxic relationship is torture couldn’t take him around my family because he would embarrass me because he always wanted to show my family he was in charge seemed like he wanted me to feel so little about myself this man just made me feel horrible inside and out I wasn’t happy anymore but I loved him I had hope he would change but as I can see now ppl never change unless they want too I have to accept that and heal from this and learn from this 

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3 hours ago, goddess said:

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad, and for what you are feeling and going through now.  I can speak from experience so I will tell you that what you are experiencing is normal.  Yes, it sucks but you are in disbelief and shock.  I was married for 29 years and I was blinded sided when he said he wanted a divorce.  My world, as you can imagine, fell apart and I felt such despair, grief and heartache.  I didn't think I could get through it.  

You have to process your loss, plain and simple.  Easier said than done but it's something that you must go through because you loved him.  You are human and this is how one feel when we lose someone who we loved.  It's the death of a relationship so you will go through a roller coaster of emotions (just like the death of loved one).  Have you ever heard of Kubler-Ross's Stages of Grief?  If not, here's a link:  https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html 

I've been divorced for nearly two years now and I feel so much better now that I am no longer in that toxic environment.  Do I miss him at times?  Yes.  Why?  Haven't figured that out yet.  Would I ever go back with him if he ever wanted to reconcile (although it's highly unlikely)?  H*ll no!!!

I had a panic attack about one month after the breakup and I couldn't breathe.  Nearly called 911.  Seriously, I thought I was having a heart attack.  Long story short (if that's possible at this point...LOL) I had three more panic attacks two weeks apart last year.  Even the doctors were afraid that something was wrong with my heart.  I realise now that I had given him the power to do that to me.  I tried really hard to maintain a positive attitude and not throw myself pity parties.  They serve no purpose other than cause undue stress.  I concentrated on all the good that I have in my life and I have plenty of it.  

Be happy that you are no longer in this toxic scenario.  Why on earth would you want that, right?  Don't look back, look ahead.  And, with time, you will heal and see the light at the end of the tunnel.  You will get there, Angela!  Keep your head up high and know that you are not alone.  Wishing you all the best.  

 

Great input!

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48 minutes ago, Angela1111 said:

couldn’t take him around my family because he would embarrass me because he always wanted to show my family he was in charge seemed like he wanted me to feel so little about myself this man just made me feel horrible inside and out I wasn’t happy anymore

Keep reminding yourself of this, every time you start to feel weak. Would your dad want you to feel this way?

I lost my dad years ago, and sometimes when I am facing a hardship in my relationships, or when I think people are treating me unfairly and I feel bad, I think, "Would my dad want me to put up with this?"

I know he wouldn't, and that helps make me stronger.

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Sorry for all you are going through :(.  Loss is never easy!

Sounds like you're experiencing some awful anxiety.  Can you speak to your Dr about this?

I was on ativan for a good cpl years for mine.. helped calm things down & get some sleep.

Also helps, if you have somone nearby you can rely on- to vent etc.. I also would journal a lot.. a much need to 'get it out' one way or another.. All I wanted to say I would write it out.

 

All takes time... take care of you.

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On 12/30/2020 at 8:00 PM, Angela1111 said:

 because being in a toxic relationship is torture couldn’t take him around my family because he would embarrass me because he always wanted to show my family he was in charge 

Sorry this happened. Yo did the right thing getting out of an abusive relationship.

Talk to your family and friends about the abuse. Surely they noticed it?

Read up on abusive relationships. If it helps talk to a therapist to help unpack and sort some of this stuff out. 

Abusers enjoy hurting you. It's fun for them and boosts their sick egos.

You need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

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