Nervous about taking this to next level.

[banana79]

@canuck he got upset and had an attitude and eventually said with the same attitude “NO. Don’t stop by.” We talked about it some more and I guess he wanted to stop talking about it mid-conversation by saying “Fine, Goodnight” Randomly.

 

Then like an hour later he randomly texted me and said “Yeah you seem sooooo exhausted being on social media and all.”

 

Which stems from that I couldn’t fall asleep so I tend to read or go online because it has always helped me fall asleep. I guess he noticed I was online and thought I was lying about being tired.

 

So when he texted me that I told him the aforementioned and all he says is “oh”. I think he went to bed sometime after that.

 

Then he woke up earlier than normal this morning and apologized for how mean he was being.

[Billie28]

I did respond early in your thread suggesting that no you should not stop by his if you won’t or can’t commit to a date.

Clearly ignored that or didn’t read until after you went ahead with it!

 

It is extremely disrespectful of another person’s time to say you might or might not catch up with them , regardless of your situation.

You told him likely was a no. You should have said it WAS a no.

He took it as a no and he was fine with a no.

But then last minute you said you will pop over for 5 mins?

So he then has to shower , clean his place up a bit etc etc , normal things people do before having someone over because you gave him how many minutes notice? When he had already resigned to not seeing you?

 

Or Maybe he had made other plans? But you assumed he would sit in limbo in case you decide to pop over for 5 mins?

 

You are NOT in a relationship with this guy. You don’t get to assume anything. You don’t know his routine and no his reaction was not unwarranted.

 

Have you apologised to him for disrespecting his time?

There is no next level.

 

Time to call it a day!

[Batya33]

I did respond early in your thread suggesting that no you should not stop by his if you won’t or can’t commit to a date.

Clearly ignored that or didn’t read until after you went ahead with it!

 

It is extremely disrespectful of another person’s time to say you might or might not catch up with them , regardless of your situation.

You told him likely was a no. You should have said it WAS a no.

He took it as a no and he was fine with a no.

But then last minute you said you will pop over for 5 mins?

So he then has to shower , clean his place up a bit etc etc , normal things people do before having someone over because you gave him how many minutes notice? When he had already resigned to not seeing you?

 

Or Maybe he had made other plans? But you assumed he would sit in limbo in case you decide to pop over for 5 mins?

 

You are NOT in a relationship with this guy. You don’t get to assume anything. You don’t know his routine and no his reaction was not unwarranted.

 

Have you apologised to him for disrespecting his time?

There is no next level.

 

Time to call it a day!

 

That's how I felt about it. Also tentative plans are fine if you tell the person in a way that presumes they can make other plans and not count on you.

[Rose Mosse]

banana, I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Any updates?

 

I think it's best to let things be for awhile. There was some missed connection there and a misunderstanding. You could have put in more effort and he is being a bit immature about it. If you're not ready to date that is ok also.

 

My suggestion here is to think about what you expect from others and follow through with the same in how you treat your dates - there's some balance there then and you'll be able to be more consistent in what you're willing to give versus also what you're expecting (wanting to take). It can avoid mishaps like this.

 

In the meantime I wouldn't beat yourself up over this. It's very small in the bigger scheme. Just things to learn. Keep your chin up and keep learning.