Our neighbors are my parents!

[boltnrun]

Another hit and run OP.

[catfeeder]

My husband is so upset and is desperate to move because he feels he doesn't have a say in what goes on here.

 

I'd show care and support for husband's feelings even while I'd suggest that if he can find a more suitable home that aligns with our agreed goals of saving for a down payment on a permanent home, I'd be willing to view and consider that property.

 

What would you have to lose?

 

This puts the onus on husband to solve his own problem rather than accepting an unnecessary onus on you to attempt 'control' over loved ones without harming your relationship with them. (That won't work.)

 

If husband comes up with properties he'd like you to see, I'd keep an open mind and go look. Point out all the positives of the property while viewing it. Review all of those positives in private with husband, and allow him to weigh those points with any monetary or other points that you'd like him to consider.

 

Negotiate between the two of you all of the pros or the cons of moving to the new targeted property. Learn how that shakes out before digging in your heels to squelch an open mind.

 

Deciding up front that you won't even consider husband's wishes does nothing for your case--or your marriage. It just raises resentment in both of you that needn't be there.

 

Instead, try partnering WITH your partner to explore all options before deciding where you want to stand, ultimately, and why.

 

Often the appearance of being reasonable is more important than actually being reasonable. You may find that husband teaches himSELF the down sides of moving just by researching to find his fantasy 'better' situation. Wouldn't it be great for husband to resolve his own issues by learning true market realities with your support rather than negating his desires and keeping him in a perpetual resentment?

 

Head high, and be smart. Everyone will get a win out of that.

[catfeeder]

Often the appearance of being reasonable is more important than actually being reasonable. You may find that husband teaches himSELF the down sides of moving just by researching to find his fantasy 'better' situation. Wouldn't it be great for husband to resolve his own issues by learning true market realities with your support rather than negating his desires and keeping him in a perpetual resentment?

 

I forgot to mention that my Dad used this technique of 'self teaching' on me to neutralize my problems with my Mother as I turned 18. He said, "I understand why you want to move, and if you can find a place that you love and can reasonably afford, bring me the listing. We'll visit it together, and if you can show me how you'll pay the rent for a year, I'll pay the first month plus security."

 

I never did find that property... but HE came out looking like a hero.