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how do I get over my ex? She texted me and now she’s back on my mind

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My ex and I broke up almost 8 months ago. Stopped talking about 4 months besides a random text a few weeks ago. She wanted her book back. So she got it back.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now. But I can’t get her off my mind. I miss her but at the same time I realize the end of our relationship and they way I felt, the way she made me feel. I don’t want that in my life. I don’t know why I miss her when all I can see is sadness instead of the happiness we had.


I have tried other things, picked up new hobbies. Books, movies, physical activity. After some time passed I felt good and I moved on. Met a lot of really nice women, but I still miss her. I even find myself unwilling to put forth the effort I would with my ex. Not to toot my own horn but I would go over and beyond for her, whatever I could do, I would. over time I scaled back my over and above. Maybe I shouldn’t have. But now with these women, I just can’t.


The truth is, I just always wanted us to work it out. I figured with a little time maybe we could get back. That thought has been in the back of my head for months. I’ve kept everything, I shouldn’t have. The photos, gifts etc. I kept them.


Tonight I finally deleted the photos, I had a reason for it but I’m to embarrassed to mention why. But I figured it was time. I just can’t carry a torch for this girl anymore. I can’t hope things work out in the long run anymore.


But what I need is to vent out these thoughts and a way to keep those feelings at bay. Any suggestions?

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You hung out with her for about 7 months, haven’t hung out with her for now 8 months.

The first couple of those 7 months , she was flaky , cancelling etc. Then says she didn’t want a bf. No labels etc.

She never really did consider you as a partner so I think the word “ex” isn’t really appropriate.


You have created numerous posts about this same girl and all advice from over a year ago until now was to get rid of her.


Now that she has her book back , there is no reason for contact and the only advice I can give is to block her.


Can I ask though? Why did you entertain such poor behaviour from her ?


If you wanted a relationship and she didn’t , why hang around??

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Sorry to hear this. You seem to be doing all the right things. Just close this chapter and stop communicating. You need to delete and block her and all her people from your social media and messaging apps.


Did she meet someone or simply want her freedom back? It's important never to crowd someone as much as you suffocated her with "above and beyond". No one wants that. Maybe that's why you are having better luck with girls now?

I don’t think she wanted a boyfriend starting school. we got into a huge argument where a lot of things were said after she told me she needs time, we shouldn’t talk like that anymore right now.



we were together 9 months and truthfully her behavior was so sweet and kind until maybe 2 months ago, that’s when things changed.

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Have you been checked for OCD? this could be the root of your issues. The trouble letting go, smothering this girl to no end, pushing and pushing to have her with you, fighting about it, not accepting her wanting to be left alone or not interested. Need to reflect on your behavior and start focusing on fixing it.

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Things changed. I listened to the warnings and I backed off from her. It wasn’t until she actually made an effort did I start talking to her again. A little bit later we actually became a couple. We became official I guess it was called.


She was my first love and I guess I just thought, hoped it would work out. I was hers as well, at least that’s what she said. I listened and accepted her apologies for rudeness and general unkindness.

Also I liked the time we spent together.

I realize now, I deserve better than that. But it doesn’t make me miss her any less

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She said she wanted freedom. She wanted to not have any ties anymore. After she came to that thought. I guess we were kidding ourselves by sticking around.

She told me I didn’t go above and beyond anymore and that’s why she started to a certain way. So I started doing that again. Things got better for a while but ultimately she still wanted her freedom

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Maybe you are right. Though I don’t believe that’s the case.

I have kept my distance from her for more than 3 months. She texted me out of the blue and after she said what she needed to say. I dropped it. Left it alone.

In the past you might be right, I do feel like I was pushing. I should have been strong enough to tell her I wouldnt argue with her anymore.


The truth is, she wanted to be single again but she didn’t want to let go of us completely. I was ok with that because I wanted her as well. But all it did was build anger and sadness between us. We both became unhappy with the setup.

Her always thinking I was being shady and talking to other women and me feeling like I was constantly being disrespected with her actions and half truths.


I miss her but I do t know why. That’s why I posted. I want to be able to leave all this behind me. Maybe it’s just hard because she was my first.


But no, I wouldn’t say I have ocd with people. I just wanted something back that I should have avoided. It would have been better if she just cut ties after we broke up

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