trisinister Posted May 31, 2019 Share Posted May 31, 2019 It's going to be a bit of an essay but please, do bear with me. We're both 25 and 26 respectively. I have been reading threads in this forum for the past few days and it has honestly been very therapeutic with my process of healing. So my ex and I broke up after 4 years of being together, we're both guys if that matters. We had ups and downs but throughout the relationship we never really had a massive argument just petty ones here and there and even those never occurred frequently. We were in a LDR and were planning to move in together. One night when I was with him, I just decided to break-up with him cos I was unhappy with my life, I lost interest in everything, but I was not really unhappy in our relationship at all. He told me that he understood and he felt relieved. Obviously, I quickly regretted my decision 5 days later and phoned him, I was a bit suicidal as well because I was diagnosed with situational depression after the break-up which I have completely sorted out now with the help of lifestyle and diet change. I started begging him to take me back (typical!) and he was very dismissive about it. He said he was not honest with his feelings and that he didn't love me anymore and that he was a coward. He also told me that I had a different outlook on life to his. This was true as my outlook really changed as I unknowingly gotten a bit unstable due to uni, work, and life in general. I became indifferent with everything. He also said that I was not completely open to him, that was true as well, I thought being romantic and emotional was wrong as my first ex told me that it's such an off and I (wrongly) took that on-board. I obviously told him about me being a bit unstable mentally due to uni leading up to work. I told him about my story with my first ex as well. So I begged him to try again and he was very dismissive and told me that he did not want to give me a false hope, he told me that he's going to block me until September and we can talk again (he told my mother that he's reluctant to do that anyway, it's just a way to calm me down). We broke-up once already, he was the one who broke up with me but regretted it and I took him back a day after. - This was a wrong move as it didn't actually give us time reassess our problems properly. Now, I just want to move on, I am not really clinging to false hope that we are going to get back again. I just want to be realistic with myself even though my heart says otherwise ALL THE TIME (it gets annoying after a while to be honest but I can't help it). I have been reassessing my outlook and been also reconnecting to my former self, the one that's in touch with his emotions and has a very positive outlook on life. I have started to appreciate every little thing again and slowly becoming empathetic. Anyway, we're not 'contacting' each other for 3 months and obviously part of me is hopeful (falsely) that we will get back together again but I don't really want to bank on that and just focus on myself. Obviously I still love him so much but feelings are not facts. So how you guys are coping/coped with a LTR break-up? Link to comment
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