Try again or not ?

[Lovomatic]

You paint of picture of a man who doesn't like to deal with conflicts and you are on the other hand describe yourself as `expressive'

 

After months of not speaking, due to an incident where you told him you wouldn't mind if he left you for someone else (which seems pretty dramatic) you take the opportunity to communicate with him again after your time apart and admit to using this opportunity to lash out at him again.

 

And you seem confused as to why he might not be interested?

 

He seems low key and not into drama and in turn you keep pushing his buttons to get a rise out of him.

Instead, he goes dark.

Improving would be possible if only he could communicate, but it never happened.

From here it doesn't look like he has an aversion to communication. He simply won't tolerate drama

 

Thank you . I get it. I'll just keep to myself when I go back.

[catfeeder]

I playfully told him that I didn't care if he were to leave for another woman .

 

If someone ever said that to me, I'd be gone, too. For good.

 

If you want to try to apologize to the guy, you can do that. It's not against the law, and you don't need anyone's approval or permission to stick your neck out to try. If you do, I'd skip making any excuses about your fear of vulnerability, and I'd surely avoid insinuating that his flaws factored into your behavior. I'd focus instead on how horribly ~I~ behaved, how I recognize that saying such an awful thing was hurtful, and how I demonstrated to him that I was not relationship material at that time, and I'm truly sorry. I'd offer that while I don't expect him to forgive me, I'd consider it a personal favor if he'd let me know if there's any way that I can ever make this up to him because I'm returning to town on [date].

 

Then I'd just leave him alone. I'd focus on reaching my own higher ground and surprising myself with my own resilience and ability to ounce back from this. It's your percentage play, because if your path crosses with this guy in the future, you'll wan to be proud of the strides you've made in your own healing, growth and development rather than demonstrate that you're still stuck in a stagnated rut of an unchanged perspective and game playing. Nobody who is healthy would be interested in returning to a lousy relationship with someone who is immature and incapable of forward growth. So regardless of whether your progress ever lands you back with ex, you'll need to quit ruminating and start healing.

 

Head high.

[Lovomatic]

If someone ever said that to me, I'd be gone, too. For good.

 

If you want to try to apologize to the guy, you can do that. It's not against the law, and you don't need anyone's approval or permission to stick your neck out to try. If you do, I'd skip making any excuses about your fear of vulnerability, and I'd surely avoid insinuating that his flaws factored into your behavior. I'd focus instead on how horribly ~I~ behaved, how I recognize that saying such an awful thing was hurtful, and how I demonstrated to him that I was not relationship material at that time, and I'm truly sorry. I'd offer that while I don't expect him to forgive me, I'd consider it a personal favor if he'd let me know if there's any way that I can ever make this up to him because I'm returning to town on [date].

 

Then I'd just leave him alone. I'd focus on reaching my own higher ground and surprising myself with my own resilience and ability to ounce back from this. It's your percentage play, because if your path crosses with this guy in the future, you'll wan to be proud of the strides you've made in your own healing, growth and development rather than demonstrate that you're still stuck in a stagnated rut of an unchanged perspective and game playing. Nobody who is healthy would be interested in returning to a lousy relationship with someone who is immature and incapable of forward growth. So regardless of whether your progress ever lands you back with ex, you'll need to quit ruminating and start healing.

 

Head high.

 

So I wasn't "relationship material" at this time when I cared about him ? When even while being angry at him, I could never skip a special day for him ? When I was there during his ilnesses, even from afar ? when I would cry when he was suffering ? Please do not go over the subject to talk about what you don't know. I just tought we were both teasing when it happened, never tought that he would use that to stay in his corner. "Expect him to forgive me, personal favor, make it up to him..." lol... I will never beg him . Ever. Where were you when he hurted me too many times even if I don't talk about it here ? you're making him sound like a saint, which he definitely is not, trust me. We BOTH had our flaws.

 

I left him alone long ago. I just wanted to know how to act once I would be back. And if he never returns, my life won't be over trust me. He was just a boyfriend, not my husband, so yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just trying the best I can to avoid any regret in the future. " Lousy relationship with someone immature", what do you know ? lol, I came here for advice, not for insults. The immature is not the one trying to discuss when things happen. The immature is the one who just stay silent and expect others to guess what he thinks.

 

And if our paths cross again one day, I'LL NEVER BE THE ONE LOWERING MY HEAD because I was not the one who got away like a coward knowing that I'd have stuck by him even when things went sour. I'll just stay the gorgeous woman I've always been because even if I can actually do much better than him, I chosed to stick to him and he was gone on the first occasion.

 

Next time you haven't anything nice to say, please don't say anything.

Thank you.

[catfeeder]

So I wasn't "relationship material" at this time when I cared about him ? When even while being angry at him, I could never skip a special day for him ? When I was there during his ilnesses, even from afar ? when I would cry when he was suffering ? Please do not go over the subject to talk about what you don't know. I just tought we were both teasing when it happened, never tought that he would use that to stay in his corner. "Expect him to forgive me, personal favor, make it up to him..." lol... I will never beg him . Ever. Where were you when he hurted me too many times even if I don't talk about it here ? you're making him sound like a saint, which he definitely is not, trust me. We BOTH had our flaws.

 

I left him alone long ago. I just wanted to know how to act once I would be back. And if he never returns, my life won't be over trust me. He was just a boyfriend, not my husband, so yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just trying the best I can to avoid any regret in the future. " Lousy relationship with someone immature", what do you know ? lol, I came here for advice, not for insults. The immature is not the one trying to discuss when things happen. The immature is the one who just stay silent and expect others to guess what he thinks.

 

And if our paths cross again one day, I'LL NEVER BE THE ONE LOWERING MY HEAD because I was not the one who got away like a coward knowing that I'd have stuck by him even when things went sour. I'll just stay the gorgeous woman I've always been because even if I can actually do much better than him, I chosed to stick to him and he was gone on the first occasion.

 

Next time you haven't anything nice to say, please don't say anything.

Thank you.

 

Your words and game playing demo'd that you were not mature enough for a relationship. Exactly why he walked away. Exactly why you'd write the kind of post you did above, too.

 

Not sure what kind of help you're looking for. You can't even get out of your own way to use it.

[Lovomatic]

The message was deleted

[Lovomatic]

Your words and game playing demo'd that you were not mature enough for a relationship. Exactly why he walked away. Exactly why you'd write the kind of post you did above, too.

 

Not sure what kind of help you're looking for. You can't even get out of your own way to use it.

Coming from someone who just insulted me, I'd say that you can keep your advices.

[Lovomatic]

The message was deleted

[Wiseman2]

Does he do that a lot?

The message was deleted

[Lovomatic]

Does he do that a lot?

 

Could you explain yourself please ?