Is she over-reacting?

[applianceguy]

I have a girlfriend of about 6 months, we have known each other longer than this though. We were friends first. While at the store a few weeks ago I ran into an ex-girlfriend's father. He asked how I was doing and asked for my phone number and email so he could give it to my ex and we could get in touch again. I said fine because I was curious how my ex was doing. I was the one who initiated the break up and it was also 6 years ago right after graduating high school. I will however say that I felt this girl and I could have ended up married and at the time it was what I wished for. We dated for 2 years and I lost my virginity to her and she even moved into my parent's house for a couple of months. My new girlfriend knows all of this about my ex. Well my ex called and we arranged to get together for dinner just to talk and catch up. My new girlfriend freaked out when I mentioned it. She said she didn't think it was a good idea. My new girlfriend said she wouldn't be so against it if this girl wasn't my "very first love" and I didn't have such strong feelings for her once upon a time. I have tried explaining to my new girlfriend that I am in love with her and seeing this ex is just a bridge to fix since the break-up wasn't a good one. My new girlfriend still said she wouldn't feel comfortable if I went so I decided since our relationship is still new I'd put off dinner with the ex for a later time. Is my new girlfriend over-reacting or is this to be expected under the circumstances explained here? New girlfriend vs. first love?

[Beec]

She's not secure with the idea of you seeing the ex. She feels the ex may steal you away. If and when she feel secure, go. Is she overreacting? Don't know, but from how you talk about your ex, I cannot say she is.

[keefy1972]

How about inviting the current g/f to come along. You DID tell the ex that you are with someone didnt you??

[rosierizzle]

She is obviously insecure and is worried that you might be tempted to go back to your ex. Spend some more time with her and show her that she means the world to you then she will be more comfortable with you seeing other girls as friends. I think alot of girls would do this in your girl friends situation it is natural for girls to want to keep boyfriends in check! Just focus on your gf for now when she is ok with everything ask her if it wuold be okay for you to catch up with your ex as friends only.

[applianceguy]

How about inviting the current g/f to come along. You DID tell the ex that you are with someone didnt you??

 

I did suggest this but my new girlfriend was still uncomfortable with it.

[lady00]

I don't think she's overreacting...I'd be freaked out too if my bf were going out alone with an ex, especially his first love. I agree with the others...give it some more time so your gf can feel more secure. Or, why not go ahead and invite your gf along? I'm sure she would be much happier with that arrangement and it would show her where you stand.

[DN]

How would you feel if she wanted to see her ex under the same circumstances and with the same history?

 

She has reason to be worried - many people do re-connect with an high-school or just later ex.

 

If you love her and want to be with her why would you want to jeopardise this relationship just to catch up on how an ex is doing? And I also find it odd that the ex's father took the initiative here. Why would he do that unless he knew your ex still had strong feelings for you? Most fathers would sooner drive over you with a truck than let you anywhere near his daughter.

[Shidoshi]

Yeah, this doesn't make any sense. Why on earth do you want to "catch up"? She was history, end of story (6 years ago at that). Why not just email her or something? Ok, so it ended on a bad note........but you aren't with her any more, what do you have to gain by meeting up with her? Sounds like you have some other motive here (you probably want to see if she still "wants" you). Just my opinion.

[Comfy-Cozy]

Hi applianceguy,

 

I have a different view. Yes, I would be weary of the idea of my boyfriend seeing an ex. However, I trust him. I also believe that if he truly comes back from the experience that he would like to reconnect with the ex; then the bond I had with him wasn't strong enough or not meant to be. thereforeeee, if you have to limit yourself from seeing people now, what is your relationship going to be like later on...