Tonight I learned that the guy i have been with for a year is insensitive

[Realitynut]

How long have you been dating?

Tonight I learned that the guy i have been with for a year is insensitive

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you for your Grandmom. Texting was not a good choice, and neither was making a demand. That came off as shockingly presumptuous, and his response made no attempt to soften that he felt put upon. That's a bummer, but I wouldn't overlook my own behavior in demanding an instant overnight trip from him on the spot.

 

I'd likely have phoned him, told him what was upsetting me, and I'd have asked him to help me work through my next steps. I need to get to grandma--my options are to uber or train to my car, or uber or train to a train or bus, or uber the whole way. Should BF have volunteered to take me, I'd have been touched but unwilling to impose such a burden in such lousy weather. Had BF insisted, I'd have accepted under the condition that he allow me to pay for expenses, including gas, food and a hotel room where he could sleep off the drive before returning home.

 

I cannot fathom assuming that a lover 'should' drive me under such circumstances, much less spend the night by my side in a hospital or hospice room. This is why I can't comprehend your position in determining whether to stay with BF, because I never would have positioned him so horribly in the first place.

 

You're the only one who knows whether this was typical of BF, or a one-off. If it's consistent with other disappointments, then he's probably not a good match.