dated to soon after breakup

[SeaBisquit]

I dated one of my brother's friends to make my ex bf jealous. My ex and I broke up a few months ago, instead of making my ex jealous he is very angry and probably won't forgive me. meanwhile, my brother's friend ( the guy I dated) likes me alot and won't leave me alone. i can't get him to stop calling me and he's even called when my ex was around. now my ex thinks that there was more going on between me and this guy that i just dated, and i'm told him the truth... nothing happened.

[honeyspur]

I think you realize the gravity of your mistake and how it is going to just take time and consistency on your part to regain his trust.

If he never trusts you again, you can just know you have learned from this mistake. I see you are just hurt, but very willing to be honest about what you've done.

Because you've been so honest about it, you are hurt he won't see that and give you another chance. But I don't think you will know just how painful this is for him until you've had even more time to sit with it.

I am not trying to downsize your feelings which led you to doing this, because I'm sure they are valid - but your actions were wrong. Maybe you need to start identifying some feelings and why you let yourself be out of control.

Do you have a habit of acting on impulse in other areas of life? If he sees you trying to go deeper into your behavior, he might regain some trust.

Communicate with him through email , as people take in more of whats said when they have to read it.

[Day_Walker]

Well your problem started when you decided that you would date this guy to make your ex jealous. Now what you have done is causing you problems hopefully you have learned your lesson.

 

Now what you talked about how your ex got made that you were dating this guy after you two are broke up sounds odd. It both seems like you arent acting maturely with regards to your current situation. If you two are over and he gets mad, what does that really prove?

[helpme145]

You should realize that dating someone to get back at someone else is not a good thing to do at all. You need to sit down with this new guy and tell him the truth. No matter how embarrassing it may be to tell him, you can't just keep playing around with this guys mind. You need to let him down gently so that he can continue with his life, and you neeed to tell your ex what you did and explain to him your reason. Hopefully he'll forgive you.

[DN]

I agree you owe the new guy an apology - you were using him and that was unfair.

 

On the other hand, the ex is a bit unfair himself. If you were broken up then you can date other people without his permission. He has no right to be angry.

 

Who broke up with whom?

[lady00]

instead of making my ex jealous he is very angry and probably won't forgive me.

 

Forgive you?? For what? He has no right to be mad at you for seeing someone else and it isn't his place to forgive you or not forgive. It's not like you cheated on him. You're broken up and free to do whatever you want.

 

What's of course a problem here is that you dated someone not because you were really into him but to make your ex jealous. Probably what you'd call a rebound relationship. I think number one, yeah, it wasn't a good idea...not really fair to the new guy but hey, we all make mistakes. Make it clear to the new guy that its over cause he doesn't seem to get it and take some time off before you date anyone else so that when you do, it'll be for the right reasons.