Dumped my bf twice but am confused now

[ThatwasThen]

So the fact that everything can be changed on his part shouldn’t matter? I was extremely happy with him a month ago. All these things are fixable

He's not going to change. That's the thing... if he was going to, he would have done it the first time you broke up with him.

 

He is who he is. Stay broken up and if he should happen to "fix" himself then he knows where to find you. Don't wait around because the chances of him becoming who you want him to be are zero to none.

 

If you really have high expectations" then staying with the likes of him would not even be a consideration.

 

This post, IMO is worth repeating. I hope you have the self-respect to acknowledge it to yourself.

 

You say you have high standards, yet you willingly signed up for a relationship with a man who has lower standards than yours?

This is who he is, but you are wanting him to change?

That's really unfair to him, isn't?

 

That makes as much sense as him wanting you to start smoking, mismanaging your finances and adopting bad parenting skills.

 

This is what dating is for. 4 months in and you accept who the man is standing in front of you, or you decide you are not a match.

 

It's ok to love someone and at the same time recognize you aren't compatible.

Leave on a high note, instead of staying to try to change him and getting frustrated with what you end up with.