How to ask for a break?

[katrina1980]

Hey bluecastle, your first post wasn't harsh, not that harsh anyway, I've read worse and probably posted worse myself!

 

But your second post (no. 21) was awesome, quite the insight you've got there fella.

[saluk]

Do you want to heal your relationship, or do you want to move on?

 

Decide which path you want to take before you take your next step. If you really want to heal your relationship, you need to end things with the other person. There's no path to healing without that. If you really want to move on, then don't drag things out any longer than they already have.

 

Whether this means a "break", some space, breaking up, or simply staying together and working through it, all of that is up to you. But know what goal you really have in mind first.

[DeepPurple88]

OK, man. I was totally in your spot, but married. Without going into the embarrassing details, I know EXACTLY what you're feeling.

It's such a strong, intoxicating feeling that you literally don't care about anything else. It grows stronger and stronger every day, and it feels better and better every time you think about it.

You don't think you'll ever come down from this amazing high, but you will. One way or another. And it's not going to be pretty.

 

IMO you have two options...both of them involving eliminating your fantasies...because that's what this is, brother.

 

In no particular order:

 

1. Break it off with your GF forever and go full on for your crush.

2. Dump your crush forever and do everything you can to keep your GF.

 

There's no in between, dude. It's one or the other. And you can't string it out much longer.

Because here's the kicker - if you don't make up your mind now (and commit to your decision) it will be too late on both sides and you'll end up with neither.

Trust me on this - from one dude to another - you DO NOT want to be in that place.

 

Grow a pair. What you're doing isn't right, man. Make a decision and tell one of these women goodbye or you'll be be saying goodbye to both of them before you know it.

[Annia]

You want a safety net in case things with your affair fail. You want to keep her around in case you need the comfort of a sure thing again.

 

You can try to rationalise all you want and pretend that it's for her own good and that it's what she wants and that she can't live without you and yada yada yada but deep down you know it's all about you and your needs. Own it at least.