I have feelings for 2 women. Help!!

[Peter1223344]

Ok so my girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me a year ago as I was (admittedly) insecure and needy.

I have come a long way, read a lot of books, been out a lot, met tonnes of women, and my mind-set has completely changed, I'm much much more confident and independent.

7 months after the break up I met a really nice girl, we've been on many dates and she's regularly around at my flat, its been 4 months and I haven't committed as I don't feel 'in love', its almost like a best friend with benefits but she may be catching the 'love feelings'.

A month ago I bumped into my ex, feelings for both of us resurfaced. I told her I was seeing someone.

Fast forward to now, I'm still seeing the new girl BUT my ex text me and wanted to talk.. we did.. she wanted me back... feelings genuinely resurfaced for us both... we had sex.. I said id need some time to think.

I really don't want to hurt either girl but I've put myself in a really sticky situation and I need advice? without doing anything brash.

[Wiseman2]

Your opening statement is "My girlfriend" (not exgf), so it's clear you still haven't moved on. It's fine to date a lot of women, but don't string them along or give them the impression you're exclusive if you are not. If you want only FWB be clear about that. Stop using the new girl for sex and a backup plan.

my girlfriend

7 months after the break up I met a really nice girl, its been 4 months and I haven't committed as I don't feel 'in love', its almost like a best friend with benefits .A month ago I bumped into my ex we had sex.

[SherrySher]

Yes, you are most definitely using the new "gf". You've already admitted you don't feel the same way for her as she does you, you've never really gotten over the ex and now you say feelings resurfaced.

 

I think it's pretty obvious what you should do. Be a decent person and strong stringing the new one along. Tell her it's not working for you.

Whether it works out with the ex or not isn't the point, don't keep this new one around just in case. Let her go. You don't feel enough for her anyway because if you did, you would have never opened the door back up for the ex.

[SherrySher]

without doing anything brash.

 

Lol..sorry I found that funny. Like sleeping with two different women in the same time period is not brash. It is definitely a bit of a mess/drama.

[Wiseman2]

Wear condoms 🧦 and disclose to both of them that you're sleeping around.🚪..👞..👞..🚪..👞..👞..🚪

[DanZee]

Well, how serious are things with the ex? You talked about how she lived apart from you, had lots of male friends, you would only see her on weekends, and she had very little time for you. After 7 years, it didn't sound like the relationship had progressed much. Are you sure you want to go back to that? I know you've been moping around for the past year pining for her, but, really, is this the kind of relationship you want? You seem to have a nice girl now. It's only been 4 months. You really need to let your head take over rather than your heart. Your ex may be a dead end and all the problems you had in the relationship will come flooding back. People miss each other, but that doesn't mean they can co-exist with each other. So give it a lot of thought before you go back to your ex.

[Clio]

Neither girl sounds right for you. Your current girl sounds like a rebound, hence you are able to throw her under the bus so easily and take advantage of her weakness like that. Your ex sounds like a habit you have trouble breaking rather than someone you really want, or you wouldn't be so wishy washy about giving up your back up girl. The healthiest approach would be to stay single for some time so as to clear your mind and then find someone new that you genuinely want /are excited about.

[SweetGirl28]

Let the new girl go before she gets hurt, and go back with your ex. But you know it's wrong because you know how it was, and will be again. Otherwise you'd make a post being elated to have gotten your ex back!!

 

If you don't feel it, you're not going to. Especially not with the ex in the picture now. Let her go find someone deserving of her. You fwb her it's seems, and you need to cut that off when one has feelings and the other doesn't.