How do you go about figuring out what your "type" is or what you're looking for?

[figureitout23]

I think the problem on using the word "type" is it lays more of the physical attraction rather than the actual relationship you want to be with. I remember back when I was a teen I always use the word "type" and I would describe my types as tall, good looking, charming etc.

 

With standards it's really different. It's more of a serious side. When people ask me what are my standards on a potential partner, I always answer "someone who's responsible, understanding, and wants to spend his whole life with me"

 

So yeah, I hope my understanding of those two words are correct based on my experiences.

 

Most people have both.

 

That's the truth.

 

May not be politically correct but most people have types and standards. This is the world.

 

I'm sorry. I don't care if you run a homeless shelter and foster puppies in your free time. If you smell like BO, have peeling skin and are missing half your teeth, doubt I'm gonna date ya....

[catfeeder]

Most people have both.

 

That's the truth.

 

May not be politically correct but most people have types and standards. This is the world.

 

I'm sorry. I don't care if you run a homeless shelter and foster puppies in your free time. If you smell like BO, have peeling skin and are missing half your teeth, doubt I'm gonna date ya....

 

Haaah! Sure, but that speaks of what you won't date rather than locking yourself into the tunnel vision of one given 'type' that you would never date outside of.

 

A family friend always brought the same 'type' of date with him to our gatherings over the years. One time he brought a woman who shared not even a single attribute of all the woman who'd gone before. Guess who he ended up marrying?

 

Unconscious attraction that's consistent to certain attributes can be a valid way of working stuff out, and so can jamming oneself into a focus on a given mold. But struggling to identify a 'type' for yourself when you otherwise aren't bound by such limits? That's just dumb.

[figureitout23]

Haaah! Sure, but that speaks of what you won't date rather than locking yourself into the tunnel vision of one given 'type' that you would never date outside of.

 

A family friend always brought the same 'type' of date with him to our gatherings over the years. One time he brought a woman who shared not even a single attribute of all the woman who'd gone before. Guess who he ended up marrying?

 

Unconscious attraction that's consistent to certain attributes can be a valid way of working stuff out, and so can jamming oneself into a focus on a given mold. But struggling to identify a 'type' for yourself when you otherwise aren't bound by such limits? That's just dumb.

 

Oh yes, in that sense I completely agree.

 

I may have misunderstood where the convo was going.

[Batya33]

Most people have both.

 

That's the truth.

 

May not be politically correct but most people have types and standards. This is the world.

 

I'm sorry. I don't care if you run a homeless shelter and foster puppies in your free time. If you smell like BO, have peeling skin and are missing half your teeth, doubt I'm gonna date ya....

 

I never really understood the point of the phrase "politically correct" or "superficial" or "shallow" when discussing dating preferences. It's dating - sometimes to find a potential partner, sometimes not but whatever floats your boat IMO -as long as there's no intent to hurt someone else or date someone in an unethical way (like if the person is married) how a single adult decides who is right for him/her is his/her business. Yes, if a person has racist or sexist views and expresses them to potential dates in a hurtful way that's not cool but if a person only wants to date within her race or religion even though in another situation that would not be ok (i.e. professionally hiring an employee) that's that person's business.

As for type I remember mentioning to a friend many years ago I loved the combination of dark hair and blue eyes and found that attractive in men. She emailed me some time later that she met the perfect person for me because he had those characteristics. I found her assumption ridiculous but interesting how far someone would go with "type".