Does he like me?

[swissjasmine]

What does mean if I have been going out with shy guy for 3 times? Will it be okay for me to assume he likes me too? He trusts me and also opens up to me - he always answer whatever I ask him question doesnt hide anything. His message reply also getting quicker n quicker (he also talks more and more lately - his answer not as short as before) - and yes I am the one who usually initiate the conversation. (Why is it so hard for shy guy to start a conversation?)

 

Now that we are going out soon for the 4th time, I just wonder will I have to ask him where is this relationship going or will shy guy finally has courage to speak their mind out? or is it too soon to talk about relationship at this stage?

 

TIA

[moodindigo91]

Well, if he has gone on 3 dates with you and has agreed to a 4th, I think it's safe to say he likes you. I wouldn't go on 4 dates with someone I didn't like. If you really want the true answer, you could simply just tell him you like him and see what his response is.

 

If he's shy, it might take him a while to be able to initiate conversations or speak his mind, but it's good that he opens up to you and doesn't avoid answering questions. Just give it some more time. I wouldn't drop the "relationship" bomb on him just yet, he probably likes you but is still feeling you out. Maybe you can just say you'd like to spend more time with him.

[Wiseman2]

No! Do not ask after three dates 'where is this going', 'what are we', etc. It's clingy and creepy. It's not a relationship yet. Use the obvious signs that he likes you such as asking you out, etc.

 

Stop texting him to death also. Stop chasing this hard. Being this pushy and desperate will make most guys run. Slow Way Down. Enjoy dating and relax.

I just wonder will I have to ask him where is this relationship going or will shy guy finally has courage to speak their mind out? or is it too soon to talk about relationship at this stage?

[bluecastle]

Agree with Wiseman here.

 

He's told you where it's going: a fourth date. At this stage that should be enough to be excited about, as it's a genuine display of interest and curiosity.

 

I can only speak for myself—and I'm hardly shy—but whenever a woman asks me where things are going at such an early stage I invariably get a little cold and unnerved. It makes me feel like they aren't really getting to know me so much as hoping I'll confirm to a preexisting fantasy, which is just an impossible amount of pressure.

 

It takes a long time to get to know someone. Yes, it's a little nervy to be vulnerable, but it's also what's thrilling. You need to be able to contain your own anxieties for a bit without asking a person you barely know to soothe them. Once things are a bit more established, those conversations will happen as they're supposed to.

[reinventmyself]

It's just a fourth date, not a marriage proposal.

Live in the moment and enjoy the process. Take your time getting to know him.

 

Dismiss that `where is this going?' and the `does he like me?' voice.

 

You should be paying close attention to who he is, what You like about Him and if he's a worthy partner for YOU.

 

You have nothing invested in this at this point, so you have nothing to loose.

Just let things unfold organically.

[swissjasmine]

hmmm he just cancelled the meeting. He said his business partner is in town (they are from another town) and he has to meet them - He explained when ur business partner in town u hv to meet them - its work related issue. He said his nature of business is unpredictable and changes can come sudddenly. So what do you think guys? any opinion? He did mention we could meet up next week - but nothing scheduled yet.

[Wiseman2]

Keep in mind after three dates he may still be meeting new women. Did you mention or allude to this ''where are we going" thing? Or continue to initiate texting him as much? Now it's time to stop chasing him, stop texting him and see if he contacts you or asks for a fourth date.

 

In the meantime, assume he may have lost interest and you should continue to date others. Next time slow way down and do not bombard anyone with texts or relationship talks after a couple of dates. Maybe he's busy with business, maybe not. However we all make time for what's important to us.

he just cancelled the meeting. He explained when ur business partner in town u hv to meet them - its work related issue. He said his nature of business is unpredictable and changes can come sudddenly. He did mention we could meet up next week - but nothing scheduled yet.

[Avalanche]

I'd take him at his word. Give him a call in a few days and arrange a date for next week. I definitely agree with wiseman, don't get hung up on trying to force a commitment or you're likely to push him away. Just keep casually dating and see where things go.

[swissjasmine]

im feel a bit withdrawn and down after this. (never experienced where the guy cancelled/postponed - first time happend n abit hard to digest for me :( ) but yes he did say sorry 2 times. From my feeling he did genuinely say sorry (For what I know I think he is genuine guy as he never hides anything - however it still hard for me to accept that he cancelled the meeting - makes me wonder if he do likes me and really want to meet me. After this incident, isnt he should be the one who arrange another date? - i think he hasnt reschedule as he's still unsure of his schedule as yet - as he said his business is unpredicatable can change anytime - so im guessing that is why he hasnt set the date as yet

[Wiseman2]

Yes. Stop contacting him. And get over the fact that he canceled. Someone he had 3 dates with is not the most important thing in his life. Especially when his livelihood should come first. Reflect on a tenancy to be clingy and anxious about someone you saw only 3 times.

isnt he should be the one who arrange another date?